South Park

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS ALL DOING HERE ?

I DON'T KNOW-

I GOT THIS EMERGENCY LETTER,

FROM CARTMAN WHO SAID TO MEET IN HIS BASEMENT.

YEAH, US TOO.

AH, GENTLEMEN, THANK YOU FOR COMING.

WE DON'T HAVE A LOT OF TIME

SO I'LL CUT TO THE CHASE.

THE GIRLS AT OUR SCHOOL

HAVE BEEN HIDING SOMETHING FROM US.

HIDING SOMETHING HUGE.

WHAT ?

WHAT IF I WERE TO TELL YOU

THAT THE GIRLS HAVE A DEVICE...

WHICH ALLOWS THEM TO SEE INTO THE FUTURE ?

WHAT ?

HOW DO YOU KNOW ?

THE GIRLS DO NOT HAVE A DEVICE

THAT SHOWS THEM THE FUTURE, CARTMAN.

THAT'S RETARDED.

YOU SIR, MOCKED CARTMAN BEFORE,

BUT YOU TOO, SIT HERE DEMANDING ANSWERS.

NOW DAMN YOU, LET HIM SPEAK !

THANK YOU, CLYDE.

I'M AFRAID IT'S TRUE !

I SECRETLY VIDEOTAPED THE GIRLS ON THE PLAYGROUND YESTERDAY

USING MY WELLINGTON BEAR VIDEO CAMERA.

I CAUGHT THE FOLLOWING IMAGES ON TAPE.

I WARN YOU...

THESE IMAGES MAY BE TOO SHOCKING FOR YOUNG CHILDREN.

OKAY, I'M NOT LOOKIN'.

VIDEO PLAYBACK INITIALIZE !

OKAY MY TURN, MY TURN !

DO ME NOW !

OKAY, BEBE, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW ?

I WANT TO KNOW IF I'M GOING TO

LIVE IN A BIG MANSION IN THE FUTURE !

OKAY, LET'S FIND OUT !

READY... PICK A NUMBER!

FOUR !

ONE, TWO, THREE, FOUR...

OKAY, PICK A COLOR.

BLUE !

B-L-U-E !

ALRIGHT, PICK ANOTHER COLOR !

RED !

OKAY, WILL BEBE LIVE IN A BIG MANSION IN THE FUTURE...

DEFINITELY YES !

WOO-HOO ! YEAH ! ALRIGHT !

GEESH... WOW ! WHOA !

DO ME NEXT !

I WANT TO KNOW IF I'M GONNA MARRY SOMEBODY CUTE !

I'LL DO IT, I'LL DO IT !

PICK A NUMBER !

THREE !

ONE, TWO, THREE !

WHERE DID THEY GET THAT THING ?

SHHHH !

G-R-E-E-N !

NOW BLUE !

THE ANSWER IS NO.

OH ! HOO ! WAH !

AW, DANG IT !

OH MY GOD...

HOW DOES IT KNOW THE ANSWER ?

I... DON'T BELIEVE IT.

BELIEVE IT !

THE GIRLS CAN ASK IT ANY QUESTION THEY WANT

AND IT GIVES THEM AN ANSWER.

FREEZE IMAGE !

GENTLEMEN... WE HAVE TO GET OUR HANDS ON THAT DEVICE.

HOW IS THE INCUBATION SHIELD COMING, CLYDE ?

IT'S ALL SET.

ONCE WE HAVE THE DEVICE,

IT CAN BE HOUSED IN HERE SAFELY

UNTIL WE KNOW WHAT WE'RE DEALING WITH.

GOOD MAN.

ANY LUCK HERE ?

THE OUTSIDE OF THE DEVICE SEEMS TO BE COVERED IN NUMERALS.

INSIDE ARE COLORS WHICH MUST

OPEN UP SOME KIND OF TEMPORAL TIME WARP.

GOOD, KEEP WORKING.

WE WANT TO KNOW ALL WE CAN BEFORE WE TRY TO OPERATE IT.

ALRIGHT GENTLEMEN, OUR CONTAINMENT CENTER

FOR THE TIME RELIC IS NEARLY COMPLETE.

ALL THAT'S LEFT FOR US TO DO

IS GET THE DEVICE FROM THE GIRLS

AND BRING IT HERE.

LET'S GO TAKE IT !

DON'T BE A FOOL, CRAIG.

YOU REALLY THINK THE GIRLS ARE JUST GOING TO

HAND THAT TECHNOLOGY OVER ?

SO WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST ?

HEIDI TURNER, IS GOING TO HAVE

A SLUMBER PARTY ON THURSDAY NIGHT.

THERE'S NO DOUBT IN MY MIND THE GIRLS WILL BE

USING THE FUTURE TELLING DEVICE THERE.

IF WE CAN GET SOMEBODY INVITED TO THAT SLUMBER PARTY,

NOT ONLY CAN WE GET AHOLD OF THE DEVICE

BUT FIND OUT HOW TO USE IT !

YEAH, THERE'S JUST ONE PROBLEM.

A BOY CAN'T GO TO A CHICK'S SLUMBER PARTY !

NO, NOT A BOY... BUT A GIRL.

ONE OF US IS GOING TO HAVE TO GO UNDERCOVER.

SHOW UP IN SCHOOL TOMORROW DISGUISED AS THE NEW GIRL

WHO JUST MOVED TO TOWN !

YOU MEAN LIKE THAT MOVIE "JUWANNA MANN" ?

NO, NOT LIKE JUWANNA MANN, KEVIN, OKAY ?

IT'S WAY COOLER THAN THAT !

BUT IF ONE OF US PRETENDS TO BE THE NEW GIRL IN CLASS

THE GIRLS WILL WONDER WHERE THAT BOY WENT.

WHICH IS WHY WE'D HAVE TO FAKE THAT BOY'S DEATH.

IT'S SIMPLE SPY STUFF, MY FRIENDS.

TAKE YOUR TOP MAN FAKE HIS DEATH,

THEN SEND HIM IN DISGUISED AS THE ENEMY.

THAT'S A PRETTY SOLID IDEA.

BUT WHO ?

MR. AND MRS. STOTCH ?

YES, WHAT IS IT, OFFICER ?

YOU BETTER COME QUICK.

YOUR SON IS DOWN AT OF THE BOWERY BUILDING

THREATENING TO KILL HIMSELF !

WHAT ?!

DON'T DO IT SON !

YOU HAVE TOO MUCH TO LIVE FOR !

OH MY GOD, BUTTERS !

OH, UH... HI MOM !

JUST KEEP STALLING, BUTTERS.

WE DON'T HAVE THE DEAD PIG QUITE READY YET.

HUH... HOOO...

BUTTERS...

BUTTERS WHATEVER IS TROUBLING YOU

THIS ISN'T THE ANSWER !

LOOK AT ALL THESE PEOPLE WHO'VE COME OUT FOR YOU !

JUST COME DOWN, NOW SON,

AND WE PROMISE WE WON'T GROUND YOU

FOR MORE THAN A COUPLE WEEKS.

OH JEEZ, NOW I'M GONNA GET GROUNDED TOO.

OKAY, IT'S READY !

STEP DOWN, BUTTERS !

HE'S... HE'S COMING DOWN !

OH THANK GOD !

NO WAIT... WHAT'S HE DOING ?

OKAY, ONE...TWO...

JESUS CHRIST !

AAAAAAAAHH!

OH MY GAAAHDD !

HE... DIDN'T MAKE IT.

NOOOOO, NOOO !

MY SON IS DEAD AAAHGGHGH !

NICE.

AND HE SHALL BE REMEMBERED

AS A PEACEFUL LITTLE BOY WHO WARMED HIS PARENTS' HEARTS.

BUTTERS !

LORD, AS WE COMMIT THIS CHILD'S BODY TO THE EARTH

MAY WE ASK IT BE THE LAST CHILD

YOU STRIKE DOWN SO MERCILESSLY.

WE KNOW THIS REQUEST TO BE FUTILE, LORD

BUT JUST THOUGHT WE WOULD ASK.

NOOOOOO !

NOOOOO, BUTTERS !

NOOOO !

DON'T PUT HIM DOWN THERE !

DON'T PUT HIM DOWN THERE !

OKAY, CHILDREN, LET'S TAKE OUR SEATS.

NOW I KNOW THAT WE ARE ALL STILL IN DEEP, DEEP MOURNING

OVER THE TRAGIC DEATH OF OUR CLASSMATE, BUTTERS.

WHO'S BUTTERS ?

BUT WE ALL MUST TRY TO MOVE ON

AND SO I'D LIKE YOU TO HELP ME WELCOME

A NEW STUDENT WHO HAS JUST MOVED HERE FROM DALLAS.

CHILDREN, PLEASE SAY HELLO TO MARJORINE.

OH UH... HELLO.

WELCOME TO OUR SCHOOL, MARJORINE.

OH, THANK YOU.

DUDE, I THINK IT'S TOTALLY WORKING,

THE GIRLS ARE TOTALLY BUYING IT.

WHY DON'T YOU TELL THE CHILDREN

A LITTLE ABOUT YOURSELF, MARJORINE ?

WUL, I'M JUST A TYPICAL LITTLE GIRL...

I LIKE DANCIN', AND... PONIES

AND... GETTIN' MY SNOOTCH POUNDED ON FRIDAY NIGHTS.

NICE.

NOW, MARJORINE, THAT'S NOT VERY LADY-LIKE.

US COLORADO GIRLS LOVE TO GET POUNDED IN THE SNIZ

JUST LIKE ANY WOMAN,

BUT WE KEEP IT TO OURSELVES.

OH...

THAT GIRL SURE HAS A STRANGE SENSE OF FASHION.

DUDE, THEY TOTALLY THINKS HE'S A GIRL.

ALRIGHT, HAVE A SEAT, MARJORINE.

I'M SURE THE OTHER GIRLS WILL BE HAPPY

TO SHOW YOU AROUND THE SCHOOL.

WON'T YOU GIRLS ?

WHERE DO YOU BUY YOUR CLOTHES ?

OH, UH, YOU KNOW, GIRL PLACES.

DUDE, THEY'VE BOUGHT IT HOOK, LINE, AND SINKER.