How I Met Your Mother

Kids,in our sophomore year of college,

when Aunt Lily came back from spring break,

Uncle Marshall surprised her at the airport.

And she surprised him

with a six-pack of locally brewed beer.

Fort Lau-ger-Dale! Get it?

And with that, a ritual was born.

For the next 11 years,whenever either of them would fly anywhere...

Minne-Cider!

Get it?

the reunion was always commemorated with a chauffeur sign

and a six-pack from wherever they'd been.

Aspen Yards Ale!

Get it?

Actually, no.

Me, neither. I was hoping you would.

But then, one night in January of 2009,

the unthinkable happened.

I'm not picking her up. -What?

Lily doesn't want me taking a cab all the way to the airport

just to take a cab all the way back, you know?

But the six-pack thing.

Ted... that stuff was fun when we were younger,

but we've grown past that.

As we mature, the relationship matures with us.

But... I mean, you guys are such an inspiration to the rest of us,

how you're so devoted and connected.

I look at you guys,

and that's all I want in the whole world.

Ted, there's two college girls outside, and they look easy!

So, Arizona-- you know,

I-I've always wanted to see

what an Arizona driver's license looks like.

I already ran that play, bro. They're 21.

We're good. -Thank god.

So, um, what brings you guys to town?

Our band's got a gig.

Oh, you're in a band?

Hey, maybe we'll come see you play. -Excuse us for a sec.

Ted, what the hell is the matter with you?

We're not gonna go see them play. -Why not?

If we see them play,

we're no better than the bleach-blonde bimbos

who flash their boobs at a Van Halen concert.

Yeah, but don't those girls get to have sex

with Van Halen after the show?

If you want to have sex with Van Halen,

do it on your own time, Ted.

We are not the maybe-we-can-come- see-you-play guys.

We're the other guys, the older guys

who never showed up and whose approval they now crave.

So we're their dads?

Exactly.

Okay.

It's a big meeting,

so I don't think we're gonna make it.

Maybe next time, kiddos.

But if you guys want to meet up after your show,

maybe we could exchange numbers... -Excuse us for a minute.

Ted, have you gone completely insane?

We don't want their phone numbers.

Yeah. I don't know what I was doing.

I guess I panicked out there.

When you exchange numbers with a chick

you give them the ability to call and cancel.

If you set a date without a number,

they have to show up.

Check and mate!

The only digits I need are these.

Honka.

Are you still their dad?

So, why don't we just meet here tomorrow night around 10:00.

I think it's supposed to snow.

What do we do if there's a blizzard?

Either way, we'll be here.

"Snow" problem.

Excuse us just one last second.

What is the problem now?!

Nice one.

All right, we'll see you tomorrow night.

Totally. -Awesome!

"Totally. Awesome!"

Man, these college chicks sound stupid.

Totally. -Awesome.

So, here's the thing: tomorrow night,

dress to move; it's gonna be a mess!

I still think we should've gotten their numbers.

You always assume something is gonna go wrong.

Ted, I promise you, nothing is gonna go wrong.

Hey, it's starting to snow.

时间轴： YY 字幕录制： fanskyer 压制： Noodle 字幕总监： YY

翻译： jacquelinezhao YY 小黑 测 压制： Noodle 字幕总监： YY

校对： YY 压制： Noodle 字幕总监： YY

Kids, the blizzard of '09 was a monster.

It snowed for three days straight,

which led to three amazing stories.

I'll start with me and Barney.

It's pretty nasty out there.

I don't think they're coming.

Of course they're coming. They have to.

If I can land just one of these girls,

I'll have party school bingo.

come on, ted. you're the only one here.

Oh. Sorry. What's party school bingo?

Every year, Playboy releases a list

of the top party schools in the country.

I take the top 25, and I make up...

a bingo card.

All I need is Arizona Tech,

which is crazy.

In league play,that would normally be designated a free space.

So, uh, how many people are in on this party school bingo thing?

Oh, it's just me.

So what's the point, then?

The point is to get five in a row.

And what do you get when you get five in a row?

I get bingo.

Thanks for coming by.

I monkeyed around with the thermostat

for about an hour before I realized it was the intercom.

Yeah, I heard you swearing downstairs.

Hey, so, uh,

Lily's flight's coming in tonight--

you're really not gonna go pick her up?

Robin, Robin, like I said,

as we mature, our relationship matures with us.

Yeah, well, if I know your wife,

she's gonna get you that six-pack anyway.

Marshall?

Marshall?

Puget Stout.

A most exquisite Seattle microbrew.

And speaking of six-packs...

What are you doing?

I'm going to the airport.

How could I be so stupid?!

Of course she's bringing me a six-pack!

But this time, I didn't bring him a six-pack.

Because...

as we mature, the relationship matures with us.

Well, he sounds like a nice young man.

I'll bet he surprises you and picks you up anyway.

Oh, baby!

Where's my beer?

We said we weren't gonna.

I have beer.

A six-pack and you're an appropriate height for me.

Let's go, New Lily.

Oh, man, I got to get some beer.

Folks, this is your captain speaking.

Looks like we're going to be arriving an hour early.

Yes! Whoo-hoo!

Drink up, boys. I'm closing the bar.

Whoa, no! It's only 9:00.

And this place is ragin', yo!

Guys, I'm really sorry,

but I got to go set up cots in the church basement.

It doubles as a shelter on snowy nights like this.

You selfish bastard!

There are two very hot girls coming here to meet us.

Can't you just leave the place open a little while longer?

We'll keep an eye on everything.

You two? No way.

You wouldn't know the first thing about running a bar.

Serve the hotties first?

Here's the keys.

Here's the keys.

As soon as your girls show up,

you turn off the lights and you lock up.

I don't want to come back here and find this place trashed.

Wow, seriously?

I can trust you guys.

To understand what it meant to us to get the keys to MacLaren's,

I have to take you back a few years

to the night that I uttered five little words

that every man at some point in his life will say.

We should buy a bar.

Of course, we should buy a bar!

We should totally buy a bar.

We should totally buy a bar.

Our bar would be awesome.

And dude, dude,

dude, dude...

the name of our bar...

Puzzles.

People will be like,

"Why is it called Puzzles?"

That's the puzzle.

That is...

a great name for a bar!

And also,

at Puzzles: no last call.

No last call!

Only when every single person is finished

having the greatest night of his or her life

do we stack the chairs on the table

and power down the three-story margarita waterfall.

We should buy a bar.

We should buy a bar.

And like the other ill-advised five-word sentences