The Big Bang Theory

Seems like forever,

since the four of us have been out to eat, you know?

Just the guys.

Oh, God! Yes, we get it.

You have a girlfriend now.

A little jealous, are we?

No, I'm not jealous.

All right, I'd kill a hobo if it'll get me laid.

Now, can we order?

Oh, dear Lord, they re-did the menu.

So what? It's the same food.

Oh, is it? Look at this.

General Tso's Chicken

is no longer listed under "specialties."

It's now under "chicken."

So?

Yes, General Tso.

Not "Tso," the chicken, "so" the question.

So?

So, why is it no longer a specialty?

Did the chef lose confidence

in the dish or himself?

And look over here.

"Shrimp in mobster sauce."

What is "mobster sauce"?

It's obviously a typo.

Perhaps. Or perhaps this restaurant's

now a front for organized crime.

For all we know, the mobster sauce

contains actual chunks of deceased mobsters.

No, no, no, no-- I think it just means

it's the kind of sauce that mobsters like.

It doesn't mean any of that!

It's a typo.

You know what? Let's just get a pizza.

Good idea. We'll go to Corleone's.

Sure, no mobsters there.

You know, the more I think about it,

the mobster sauce couldn't possibly contain

chunks of mobster.

And why is that?

It was listed under "seafood."

What if they were mobsters who slept with the fishes?

Leonard, are we having a serious conversation or not?

What the...?

The TV is gone.

So are our laptops.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

Oh, God!

It's all right.

They didn't take my comic books.

Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state

Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait!

The Earth began to cool

The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools

We built the Wall We built the pyramids

Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery

That all started with a big bang

Big Bang Theory 3x13 The Bozeman Reaction

They took our TV,

two laptops,

four external hard-drives,

our PS2, our PS3,

our X-Box, our X-Box 360,

our classic Nintendo,

our Super Nintendo, our Nintendo 64 and our Wii.

We like games.

Right, games. They took Halo 1,

Halo 2, Halo 3, Call of Duty 1,

Call of Duty 2, Call of Duty 3,

Rock Band, Rock Band 2,

Final Fantasy 1 thru 9, The Legend of Zelda,

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time,

The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess,

Super Mario Brothers, Super Mario Galaxy,

Mario and Sonic at the Winter Olympics...

...and Ms. Pacman.

Assorted video games.

When does the CSI team get here?

What?

In anticipation of their arrival,

I've bagged some evidence.

One of the thieves had the audacity

to quench his thirst while ransacking our home.

You should be able to pull some good prints off this.

And now, here are my prints

so you can rule me out as a suspect.

What about me?

I'm sorry, Leonard. It's too early to discount

the possibility of this being an inside job.

Would I be completely out of line to ask you to shoot him?

I'd be happy to put him under a 72-hour

psychiatric hold.

I'm not crazy.

My mother had me tested.

We're done here.

Call this number, and we'll fax you a copy of the report

so you can submit it to your insurance company.

I-I'm sorry.

That's the end of your inquiry?

Do you have any more information that might be relevant?

Oh, my goodness. Where do I begin? For instance--

my laptop contained

four out of the five gedankenexperiments

necessary for a cogent restatement

of the quantum measurement problem.

How is that going to help them?

Well, they could monitor scientific publications

and see if anyone posts such a cogent restatement in the next

couple of months. If so,

the authors are most likely

in possession of my stolen laptop.

Good night, fellas.

Come on, Bochco.

What are we supposed to do now?

The only thing we can do.

Watch TV on our phones until the criminals return

and bludgeon us to death in our sleep.

Does that mean you've ruled me out as a suspect?

Oh, how I wish I could.

I do not have to urinate.

I am the master of my own bladder.

Drat.

I can't believe it.

If I hadn't been working the dinner shift,

I would've run right into the robbers.

Hey, there's no reason for you to be scared.

I'm not scared.

I would've gone all Nebraska on their asses.

Leonard and Penny.

Leonard and Penny.

Leonard and Penny.

Hand me the bat.

We just had a major crime in the building,

and you open the door without asking who it is?

It won't happen again. What's up?

Nothing.

I just wanted to see if you were both okay.

We're fine, Sheldon.

All right, then.

Good night. Good night.

That was weird, even for him. Mm-hmm.

Leonard and Penny.

Leonard and Penny.

Leonard and Penny.

Who is it?

Sheldon. Sheldon Cooper.

Yes?

May I come in?

Yeah.

I see you're drinking wine.

Yes, we are.

And we're about to go to bed.

Uh-huh.

Sheldon, do you want to sleep here tonight?

Oh, as small as Leonard is,

I don't think the two of you'd be comfortable on the couch.

What do you want?

It's not what I want, it's what evolution wants.

Human beings are primates.

Primates have evolved to live in groups,

both for protection and support.

But you don't like other people.

I do tonight.

It's scary over there.

It's getting scary here, too.

Um... three little kittens?

Three little pigs?

God, I don't know.

Star Wars?

Did we win? Can we go to bed?

Good Lord-- I could not have made this easier.

Hydrogen atom, H,

plus pigs minus pea-- Higgs.

Bow, General Zod trapped in the Phantom Zone.

Bow-zone.

Pear. Tickle.

Pear-tickle.

Higgs Boson Particle.

How could you not get that?

He's right, Penny. It's all there.

Sheldon, sweetie, I know you're feeling insecure,

but we've really got to go to sleep.

All right. I'll take the first watch

and wake you at 0400.

Great. Good night.

Wait, wait-- what's 0400?

4:00 a.m. That's, like, in 45 minutes.

Just keep walking.

It's quiet out there.