No Offence

Any idea in your position...

Echo Tango One... Where's the package?

'Roads clear. ma'am, just approaching a mile out.'

Hear that, gang. We're losing time for photography.

If a face is familiar,

'move on, we want to know who the newcomers are.'

'People like this can bring out all the top brass from the arse end of the universe.'

I want to know who Nora Attah knows these days.

Ma'am, you've got a dry cleaning label hanging out of the back of your dress.

'You haven't?'

When was the last time yours was cleaned?

You have been missed, ma'am.

Eyes on Manni Attah, ma'am.

At seven o'clock with people probably worth knowing.

Not screaming volatile to me.

- I like her top, though. - No, YOUR seven o'clock.

'He's talking to the crematorium owners.'

He's changed a bit since we last set eyes on him.

Joy, are you getting this?

Joy, focus.

Yep, really focused, ma'am.

All clear as a bell and being processed.

'Ma'am, package has arrived.'

Upjohn.

What sort of way is this, to show up at my son's funeral?

I shouldn't be greeted by you.

Your ex-wife's car's on its way as we speak.

You think so?

My mother is not moving until she's spoken to you.

My condolences, Norah.

My son is a civilian.

Did I gate-crash your husband's funeral?

No. But I appreciated the flowers.

And with respect, I didn't have a convicted murderer

on the guest list.

- Your husband. - Ex-husband, he invited himself.

A flight risk nevertheless.

So a police presence is non-negotiable.

I'm here to make sure that today belongs to your boy.

- Understood? - One favour to ask.

I'm not having uniforms in my Herbie's chapel.

No deal, Norah, your ex is not coming out of handcuffs today.

You and me weigh more.

Jammy bitch, she's getting us in the chapel.

That's not tea. - Er, no. - So, shift it.

We're in.

I need slower sweeps, ma'am, get the whole congregation in.

Yes, beautiful ma'am.

Get us a look at the other front row.

Relax. Somebody is bound to be videoing this. I'll send you a copy.

Amazing grace

How sweet the sound

That saved a wretch like me

And I was once was lost

But now am found

Was blind...

Ma'am!

- Ma'am, you all right? - Forget it.

Dinah's got the key.

Dinah, the key!

Dead to us...

Dinah! Key...

Holy fuck!

What have they done to him?

- We've got to go. Let's get out. - Herbie! Where's my son?

Get off me! Where's my son?

Get her out.

Herbie!

Where's my son?

What was that? Herbie!

- Get her into the van. - No, no, no, we've got our own transport.

She's in shock, you're bleeding and we all need out of here. - Herbie!

Be safer than anywhere.

Oi!

It's, the crem owners, they shouldn't be legging it, not with box files.

Oi, stop now.

- Ma'am, you OK? - Yeah, yeah. Well, I will be,

when Miller tells me what the hell happened here?

Mrs Attah, we need to go now.

Can you two please get into the van.

It's for your own protection.

Tell her to quit shouting, Viv.

Or I'll tape her mouth up.

- Don't you dare threaten me. - Don't you dare point at me, girl.

Don't you Viv me. Inspector.

- Was that a bomb? - Oh, grow up, bomb?

Smelled like a bomb.

We're all praying that was a gas explosion.

Well, I'd put your mats away, that was a big fat wanking bomb, Viv.

- With bells on. - The bomb squad haven't had time...

Yeah, well, the bomb squad haven't actually turned up yet.

And I don't need their data to tell me what is blindingly obvious to

insiders. - If you are in a manic phase, I'm not in the mood.

Oh, boom-boom. I'm not the bipolar bear you remember, ma'am.

Yeah, one could easily forget...

Oh, this is nice, wasn't it?

Yes, well, I've just double-checked the footage from the relay and based

on the usual 30 years of passion books, conferences, exams and empirical hands on,

the depth and velocity of the plume and the colour of the smoke

tell me it was a bomb.

So get your good wellies out, we've shit on the way, ma'am.

I've missed working with you, welcome home.

That was Lickberg.

I lied, I told her you're tied up with Norah.

I'm counselling. She needs taking out for a pint as a matter of urgency.

Don't even go there.

She a 12-stepper?

Actually, knowing her, she'll be 13.

Look, just don't invite her out for drinks, we tried.

She stares at you like you've just gone for her knickers.

Ma'am.

Norah's upstairs getting showered

and Manni's reluctantly giving us a witness statement.

How much experience do you have of Norah Attah?

I testified against Norah in the 2012 trial.

After the not guilty, she sent me a court artist sketch with me in the

witness box.

All the witnesses got one.

You? - She's the only person I ever heard me dad call the C-word.

And that was way before.

I meant professionally on repeatable record.

Dad was on morphine at the time.

I've called a press conference.

I'm announcing it was a Victorian gas main.

Oh, erm, you'll have to give me an hour,

just to sort me head out and stick a face back on.

Viv, in all honesty, this can't be the first week back that you

visualised. Why don't you go home and when this blows over...

Surviving the day this far.

It would be rude not to see it through, ma'am.

But thanks.

You're getting a lifetime achievement award.

Outstanding achievement.

And not for going home and lying down.

OK, Inspector. We're going to be asked internally whether we should have seen this coming.

Oh, if Norah didn't see it coming, how the hell could we? And she didn't.

Her security at the crem was scraggy.

Until this blows over, that is not how Norah works,

she'd spark a riot just to find time to think and rattle your troops.

We really don't want that, ma'am.

So if it wasn't a hit, are we thinking warning?

Nobody uses a bomb that big to say boo, Christine.

Ma'am.

- Barely repairable. - I know.

She needs your insurance company believing that.

Manni Attah wants his mum.

Is it right we're saying gas explosion, then?

With a blast that size, there's always busted gas mains so it's never a lie.

- You OK? - No, Dinah.

"It's your first week back, Viv."

"Stay home 'til it blows over, Viv."

I've been stuck at home, dressed like a sack of shit,

having to pretend that I'm heartbroken.

I've had to sell my house.

Cos people needed me looking like a wreck who couldn't spend another minute where her husband died.

Which you're supposed to.

Fine!

But this is getting beyond a joke, Dinah.

If you've lied through your teeth about being gutted,

don't blame the boss for swallowing that.

I am the boss.

What were the circumstances of Herbie Attah's death?

I've just sent down for the coroner's report.

Ma'am.

This is a health and safety question.

How do you think she's coping?

- Very well. - Considering.

We don't want her to burn out in her first week, so keep an eye on her,

- yeah? - Yes, ma'am.

We're not letting anyone into the crem until we find out what's in the sandbags packing the coffin.

Yeah, we're not interested in the chapel.

If there's any secondaries we're safer at the first ground zero where

all the best bits of the bomb will be.

Bomb? What, we know that?

Fucking right.

Yeah, but the bomb squad don't like me

so try charming the gayest looking ones first.

Do your dick on a stick for us.

We need access to as many fragments as possible.

You all right? - Oh, can't just be happy, has to be manic?

No, it's just why walking onto a bombsite makes anybody happy?

Right, nobody opens this without wearing these.

Right, Norah, I'm going to talk to you like a grown-up.

What if that was no gas main, butler?

When I say we're on the same side,

that means you pointedly stay on mine within the law,

or I'll come down on you like a tonne of bricks.

You've taken over no-one's turf at all?

That you can think of? You've offended no-one?

Well, maybe that's where we start.

Norah's wilting, hit the menopause, time to move on.

I'm going home.

The bomb squad's currently surrounding your house.

But be my guest, Mrs Attah.

Go and try opening your own front door first.

Mad bitch.

Get after her, don't let her leave the building.

If she ends up in the same room as her lad, do not leave their sight.

- Just me? - Obviously not. Gavin.

Only cos I want to see your arse.