Army of Thieves

- -

- - Uh, yeah.

For this video today, I will be switching into English

for my international friends and fans.

The story I will be telling you today is one of my absolute favorites,

and, um, I hope you too will get great enjoyment out of it,

like I do.

Once upon a time, in a faraway land called Munich...

Far away, that is, if you're one of my international friends.

There was an old brick building on the edge of the city.

The building was the factory of a respectable locksmith

named Hans Wagner.

He was once a hard-working family man, a pillar of the community,

until his wife and son died tragically.

In his waning years, his greatest work truly began.

A series of four safes, one for each opera of Richard Wagner's legendary Ring cycle,

comprised of four epic operas with roots in Norse mythology.

The four safes being...

Das Rheingold,

Die Walküre or The Valkyrie,

the Siegfried...

and finally the Götterdämmerung,

also known as the Twilight of the Gods.

To Hans Wagner, a lock, a safe, were puzzles.

Puzzles that could only be solved

by those truly worthy of the secrets they guarded.

Legend has it, if you attempt to crack the locks by force,

the contents will be incinerated

and they will lock forever.

But Hans' work did not end with the Ring cycle.

He had one more safe to build.

The safe his whole life had been leading to,

capable of containing all his anguish and misery,

locking it away for good.

People tried to liberate Wagner from the tomb he had built for himself,

but his work was pure enough that they could not.

The safe that Wagner died in was never opened.

It served as his tomb and was dropped into the ocean with his body still inside.

The Rheingold,

the Valkyrie, and the Siegfried

are all rumored to still be in circulation.

Their locations remain one of the greatest mysteries of the safecracking world.

As for the Götterdämmerung, no one knows what became of it.

Okay. Yes, this has been my video. Thank you for the viewing.

And as always, I've been your, uh, Sebastian Schlencht-Wöhnert,

your super safecracker. Please like

and, um, hit the button with the word "subscribe" on it.

That's it.

Thank you and goodbye.

Perfect. That was perfect.

And upload.

Tick.

Okay, and...

Time to start another boring day.

- - Thank you.

Here you go.

OPEN

A very good morning. How can I be of help?

Now listen up, young man!

In the old days everything was better, far better...

CLOSED

- I'm taking my lunch break. -

Wait.

Oh, my God.

Uh...

"Want to put your skills to the test?"

"The house at the end of Leipziger Str. Berlin."

"PASSWORD: Götterdämmerung."

Hello, I'm...

I'm not sure if this is the right address,

but I'm here for a very secret issue.

Do you understand?

You understand? English?

Okay...

I'm here for, um, a very secret thing.

I was told to say Götterdämmerung.

Götterdämmerung?

Götterdämmerung.

Who's ready for the main event?

Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome our final competitor.

Give him a big hand. -

Sebastian Schlencht...

I don't know how the fuck you pronounce that last name.

Me? Is it me she's talking about?

- Of course. Go to work. -

- What? Take your place.

- Ladies and gentlemen... - Hello, uh, sir.

...place your final bets. - My name is Sebastian.

May I ask what the hell is going on here?

The clock is set. - Thank you.

Ready, and crack!

And remember, only four competitors advance to the next stage.

And contestant number one is finished.

Three more slots still to be won.

- Oh, wait. Oh, and now it's two. -

Time's running.

- - Yeah!

One more slot.

- That's it. -

If your safe remains locked, please leave the floor.

Four contestants left for the semifinals.

Fireball,

Valiant,

Neo,

- and Mr. Nervous Guy. -

Quiet please. -

The clock is set.

Ready,

and crack!

Neo's on to the second dial.

And so is Mr. Nervous Guy.

Whoo!

A second place finish from Mr. Nervous Guy.

Could we be looking at a new champion?

Your bets please. Place your bets.

The clock is set for three minutes.

If neither competitor finishes, we default to a tie.

Ready,

set,

and crack!

Already?

That's a difficult one.

Wow. Oh, no, only one minute left,

but I haven't even started to crack my safe yet.

Yeah, probably because you don't know how.

Hey. So this is bad news for me, isn't it?

- I just want to clarify once more-- - Zip it!

Okay. If you say so.

- -

Ladies and gentlemen, there's a new kid in town!

I love you, Nervous Guy!

It's just training and a lot of practice.

I'm gonna kill you!

I'm gonna kill you! I'll kill you! I'll kill you, you little shit!

Thank you.

Thank you.

That was when I first saw her.

The woman I would come to know as Gwendoline.

The woman who would change my life.

Eventually, I would come to learn so many things about her.

For instance, that she was six years old when she stole her first wristwatch.

That she was 16 when she first got her heart broken.

And when she stole her first car.

I would learn that she had a red notice from Interpol since she was 17.

But at that moment, in that basement, I didn't know any of that.

All I knew was of all the people in that basement,

she was the one smiling at me.

Thank you!

I have absolutely zero idea what's going on, but thank you.

Whoo-hoo!

Thank you.

Thank you.

Thanks.

Hello, Sebastian.

Damn it!

Hold on, I know you.

You were at the strange house last night.

Sebastian, I am the reason you were there last night.

Oh, my God.

You were my one view on YouTube, weren't you?

That's right.

And may I say what a shame that is.

Your videos are damn fine, Sebastian.

Thank you. I know.

But, permit me to ask then,

who are you?

I am the woman who is going to change your life.

Forever.

Gulp.