The Good Karma Hospital

Mrs. Korman?

Mrs. Sharma?

Good morning.

Morning, Sister. Who's first?

This way, please, Dr. Fonseca.

Dear God. Another?

Do we have any beds left?

Well, the male ward is virtually empty.

Well, apart from Mr. Palaty.

Otherwise there's not a man in sight.

Perhaps they're all exhausted.

- Jyoti? - Yes, Dr. Fonseca?

Our local bon viveur looks sober enough now.

So discharge him and start filling up the ward

with our expectant mothers.

Looks like the women are taking over.

I'd like you to be seen in a hospital.

Don't be ridiculous.

I still think it's too high.

And I still say you're overreacting.

She still won't listen to me.

Can't you talk some sense into her?

Talk some sense into her?

You refer to my life's work -- unsuccessful so far.

But if my grandchild's health is in question...

Yeah. According to Ruby.

Well, she's the only qualified doctor in the family.

Thank you.

Dinesh is coming home for the birth.

When he gets here, then we can talk.

And what if his son isn't prepared to wait for him?

I think you should listen to Ruby.

Well?

I'll come with you.

Barsha.

I've seen less stubborn bull elephants.

Okay. Fine. You win.

But I hate Kochi. And you do too.

Don't worry. We're not going to the city.

I know somewhere much better.

That head is finally in the right place.

It won't be long now.

But when, Doctor? I'm very tired.

I'm afraid the exact timing is between you and him.

It is a boy? You're sure?

When you've been doing this as long as I have,

you get a sort of feeling.

Plus he's already a day late

and causing you nothing but pain and discomfort.

QED, male.

You can really tell?

No. Of course not.

But it's her first, and they're both absolutely terrified.

Believe me, when it's all over, she'll forgive me anything.

- Even a little white lie. - True enough.

And we have other things to worry about.

I blame the fertility festival.

Nine months to the day to Meena Bharani, and we are overflowing.

My God. Look at these people, Lydia.

We need help, and we need it fast.

Our staff cannot possibly cope.

If this is about Dr. Walker again...

No. No.

I know we both are reluctant to replace her,

but surely a locum physician would be better than nothing.

Look at Dr. Varma.

He hasn't seen daylight in a month.

He looks positively vampiric.

And I've barely seen my wife in weeks.

And I promise you, as soon as I can locate my magic wand,

I'll materialize an entire army of the willing and competent.

Until then... Good morning, everyone.

Shall we begin?

My God.

So this is it?

Welcome to the Good Karma Hospital.

It's smaller than I expected.

Hey. Could you park up for me?

Okay. Thank you so much.

Wait, wait, wait. Be careful.

I'll take that. Here.

- Dr. Walker. - Thanks.

Thank you.

Well, look what the cat dragged in.

And I see you've even brought me a new patient.

You shouldn't have. Really.

This is my sister, Barsha. She's pregnant, so I --

Believe it or not Dr. Walker,

despite your extended absence, dementia has not yet set in.

I can still recognize the third trimester at 40 paces.

This way.

Her blood pressure has been elevated the past two weeks.

In the circumstances --

You decided to add another morsel

to my already-groaning table.

I assume you'll want a bed.

Although you couldn't have picked a worse time.

It seems every Keralan in possession of a functioning womb

has decided to give birth in my hospital.

Here we go. All yours.

Get your sister settled in and then come and find me.

We have things to discuss.

Welcome back.

Take a seat.

So, did you find yourself, up wherever you were?

Not exactly, but --

Jolly good. Everyone deserves a holiday.

Although, I was sure we agreed only one month.

Actually, I'm just here with my sister.

You know -- as a relative?

So I train you for the better part of two years

and you repay me by becoming

some sort of general practitioner on Daddy's estate?

I suppose that's one way of putting it.

Yes.

It's me. It's an emergency.

I need you now. And -- And I can't talk --

Oi! Have some decorum!

Sorry.

This area is strictly for staff and patients only.

Sorry.

Dr. Walker!

My God. A sight for sore eyes.

Now, listen. Please get busy.

I'm begging you. This place is falling apart.

And don't tell Lydia I told you that?

Look. She's back, Sister. She's back!

Are you mad?

You escaped.

Maybe.

- Does Lydia know you're here? - What do you think?

Actually, I think she missed you a little.

- Just a little? - I miss you a lot.

Really.

Mrs. Channar?

I'll see you in a minute.

Hi.

You're back.

Not exactly. Um, my sister's pregnant.

Her blood pressure's been high, so I thought...

Seizures, stroke, kidney failure.

Right.

Exactly.

I'm late for clinic.

Hey.

That's all I'm getting?

You have been away for four months.

What did you expect?

I don't know.

Something, at least?

Well, I'm sorry to disappoint you.

You're angry with me.

Is that a question or a statement?

Look, I know I should have called.

Can we talk?

Please?

Since your absence, we've been very short-staffed.

As a result, my clinic is full, and I'm already late.

But please do give my best to your sister.

So no emergency?

Look around you!

They've only gone and banned alcohol!

Not even the beer's safe!

I left a hospital teeming with pregnant women for this?

Look. Pouring good beer on the sand.

Poor Palaty nearly had a coronary.

Greg, why am I here?

Because I see you as a key ally in this struggle, Lydia.

There are clear public-health implications.

I agree. Positive ones.

Well, think of the local economy.

The birth rate.

I mean, look at 'em.

Men and women from around the globe

make this long journey to paradise

simply in order to procreate.

They can't do it sober.

No one ever had sex on smoothies.

This is ridiculous, and I'm leaving.

No, no, no, no.

I've got, one bottle

of high-quality rum they haven't found yet.

I need you to hide it for me.

And as a doctor, you're above suspicion.

Plus even the police are terrified of you.

- No. - They are.

Just ask P.C. Pandala. Please.

Lydia, when have I asked you for anything?

Under protest.

Anyway, why don't you embrace this whole abstainer thing?

You might even lose a few pounds.

And this bar would make a wonderful cafe.

A cafe. Is that what you want?

Carrot cake and chamomile? I'm ruined.

Spiritually and financially ruined.

On the contrary, I think it could be the making of you.

Then why don't I just nail my balls to the dart board

and let everyone take potshots?

And as you well know, I'm very good at darts.

Well, you'd have to be, 'cause these have shrunk to nothing!