I Love Lucy

In this city live Lucy and Ricky Ricardo.

Of course, you know Ricky is the famous Latin American orchestra leader and

singer, and Lucy is the famous, uh, um, well, she's, her hair is very red,

and she's married to Ricky.

In this district, close to theaters and nightclubs where Ricky works, they have a

little apartment where they laugh, love, and thoroughly enjoy life.

They live in this apartment here on the seventh floor.

Now let's look in on them.

No, no, no, not that apartment.

Yes, that's right.

Okay.

It's 11 O'clock now.

They should be getting up.

Ricky is one of those individuals...

who wakes up in the morning bright and cheery.

On the other hand, Lucy is one of those individuals... who, when she wakes up in the morning...

He looks like he got in later than I did.

I wonder whatever happened to my type.

Ricky?

Ricky?

Ricky?

Yes, Lucy, what is it?

If you'd known how I love you... in the morning, would you still have married me?

Well, would you?

I'm trying to decide.

I was just teasing you, honey.

You look beautiful to me all the time.

You were not teasing me.

I know you, Ricky Ricardo.

I know.

Just because you're gonna... be a big television star, you're casting me aside like an old shoe.

Now, please, don't talk about it till it happens.

What do you want to do, gins me?

Gins you?

Yeah, gins.

J-I-N, um...

Um... X?

X?

Don't be ridiculous.

I don't know how to spell it.

It means bad luck.

Some sponsors are coming to the club to see my show.

And if they like it, I'll put it on television.

That's all.

What night are they coming?

Do you know?

No.

You do, too.

I do not.

They're going to tell my agent.

And Jerry will tell me as soon as he knows.

Well, it doesn't matter.

You'll never be a success on television anyway.

What?

What do you mean I won't be a success on television?

You don't have a pretty girl in your act.

Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Here we go again.

On television, you have to have a pretty girl to demonstrate the sponsor's product.

Yeah?

Sure, she eats it or drinks it.

Drinks it or smokes it or waxes the floor with it or cuts potatoes with it or drives off in it.

Sure.

How would you like to have your sponsor's product demonstrated by a gorgeous redhead?

I love it.

You know where I can find one?

Out of the way.

Out of the way.

Oh, Ricky, stop.

You're getting lather all over me.

Never mind that.

Help me find my ear.

You didn't really lose an ear.

Huh?

Okay, you talked me into it.

You can demonstrate the sponsor's product on the show.

Good.

What is it?

Men's shorts.

Now, look, Lucy, you know how I feel about this.

I don't want my wife in show business.

Why?

Why?

I ask you first.

Oh, honey, we've been over this 10,000 times.

I want a wife who's just a wife.

Now, look, all you got to do is clean the house for me, hand me my pipe when I come

home at night, cook for me, and be the mama for my children.

You don't smoke a pipe.

It doesn't matter.

I just do the others.

You're missing a good bet.

I say you're missing a good bet.

Am I?

Yes.

How you figure?

Because I can sing and dance, and tell jokes.

How about it?

No.

Oh, you have no imagination.

I'll bet if Ziegfeld or Earl Carroll had seen me, they'd sign me up like that.

As what?

As a beautiful showgirl.

Go answer the door.

All right, this is my life.

Well, this is it, boy!

Tonight is the night!

This is it!

Tonight is the night!

Shh!

What do you mean, shush?

Shout it from the housetops, boy!

This is it!

Tonight almost all of the sponsors are coming down to catch the show for me!

Tonight is the night the sponsors are coming down to catch your show for TV.

Fine, fine, but I don't want Lucy to hear.

She knows the audition is tonight.

She'll pester the life out of me.

Oh, I see.

Well, have you got everything all set?

Sure.

Can you get that clown act you want to put it in the show?

You mean Pepito?

Yeah, Pepito, the fellow that rides on a bicycle?

Yeah, I'll have him do the bicycle act and then he can do that show a bit.

That's good, fine.

Then everything is all taken care of, huh?

Everything is fine.

Okay, I'll see you down at the club later.

All right, Jerry.

Good.

Goodbye.

Oh, I almost forgot.

The lawyer gave me this yesterday.

He wants you and Lucy to... Hey, what am I whispering for?

He wants you and Lucy to sign it and I'll take it right back to him.

What is it?

Well, you know, I don't think he has much confidence that you'll be a success in television.

Television.

It's your will.

He's been talking about that for months.

Well, come on, boy.

Let's get going with it.

Get it signed.

Because, Connor, you are going to take it all the way back downtown.

Hey, wait a minute, Jerry.

You run along.

I'll have Lucy take it down to the attorneys.

Lucy?

Well, now, why should she have to go all the way down there?

It'll take her most of the day and I won't have her in my hair during rehearsals.

Oh, I see.

Is she still trying to get in the act?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, well, I give up.

I tell you, I'll see you later, huh?

All right, Jerry.

Now, don't forget.

Knock him!

He's dead tonight.

Shh.

All right.

Lucy,

I got something.

Lucy?

No.

And that's final.

Hurry up, honey.

Coming.

Who was that at the door?

Jerry.

Jerry?

What'd he say?

Does he know anything yet?

What'd he say?

What'd he say?

What'd he say?

What'd he say?

What'd he say?

Nothing.

Just business.

He brought my will.

Oh, I'll get your toast for you.

Your will?

Yeah.

What's the matter, Ricky?

Nothing is the matter.

There is two.

You're keeping something from me.

You're sick.

I never felt better in my whole life.

Then you lied to me when we were married.

You're really older than I think.

Now, look, honey, this is just good business.

The lawyer said I should have a will.

Then everything is legally taken care of if anything happens.

That's all.

I won't discuss it.

Look, you have to.

You know what to do so that you know what's going to happen when I go.