Friends

Previously on Friends: - I don't feel like I have a girlfriend.

You want me to quit my job so you can feel like you have a girlfriend?

- Is this about Mark? - Oh, my God.

- Okay, it's not. - Oh, my God.

I cannot keep having this fight with you!

Look, ugh, maybe we should just take a break.

Fine. You're right. Let's, uh, take a break.

- Let's get some frozen yogurt. No.

A break from us.

Then we had this big fight, and I said I wanted to take a break.

I don't want to take a break.

This is crazy.

Can't we work on this?

What do you want to drink?

Who's that?

Nobody.

- Is that Mark? - Honey, look, he just...

Yeah. Got it!

Hey, come dance. What are you, married?

- Ha, ha. - Because that's okay.

- Hey. - Hey.

How was the big anniversary dinner?

Well, we never actually got to dinner.

Ha, ha, oh. Nice.

We kind of broke up instead.

What? Aah!

My God! It's on the ceiling!

That's okay.

This is more important than fruit...

...on my ceiling.

You broke up?

Yeah, but it's okay because when Ross left, Mark came over.

- Oh, no! You and Mark? - No, it's okay. Calm down.

Mark and I talked...

...and I realized how much I love your stupid brother.

We got our problems, but I really wanna make it work.

Morning!

Hi, it's me.

I've been trying to reach you all night. I feel awful.

Please, Ross, you've got to know, there's nothing between me and Mark.

This whole breakup thing is just stupid.

Ugh, I'm sorry I put you through it.

And I don't want to get back together over a machine.

Mm-mm.

So I love you.

I love you.

And you know what? I'm gonna go to bed now...

...but on my way to work tomorrow, I'll stop by around 8:30. Bye.

Chloe, how's it coming?

What kind of puppy do you think I should get?

Um, oh, hey. I don't know. How about a big one?

- But my apartment's so... - Then a small one.

- We have to go. - Wait! Where's my shoes?

You need shoes?

- Do I know why we're rushing? - You know my girlfriend?

It turns out that she, uh, wants to get back together.

I found it!

That's so great for you guys!

You must be so happy!

Yes, I am. One of the many things I'm feeling.

- Good luck with your girlfriend. - Oh, thank you. Ah, eh.

Rachel!

- You got my message? - You are right on time!

So can I be your girlfriend again?

Yes, you can. Very much.

Ah, ah.

- Hey. - Hey.

- Why are you mopping your ceiling? - Ugh, there's banana on it.

I have the spirit of an old Indian woman living in mine.

So then you know.

The mailman was here, so I brought your mail.

- Oh, good. Thanks. - Now, what is Fabutech?

Okay. Don't judge me too much, okay?

I saw this infomercial, and, um, I swear I have never...

...bought anything on TV before.

Except for this mop.

But there was this stuff on leg-waxing, it looked amazing.

- Waxine! - Yes! Have you seen it?

It's incredible! I want to be a Waxine Girl!

I know!

God! Do you think it really doesn't hurt? How can they do that?

Hello! Organic substances recently discovered in the rain forest?

They have the best stuff in there.

Oh, my God!

We figured when we couldn't find you, you'd gone to make up with Rachel.

Which is probably what you should have done, huh? Heh.

You think?

God, I'm in hell. I mean, what am I gonna do?

Rachel's all "I love you," and all I can think about...

...is what is she gonna do when I tell her what I did?

First, we should address the more important question...

...how dumb are you?

What? Look, we're trying to rebuild a relationship here, right?

How am I supposed to do that without being honest?

I'm on board about the total-honesty thing. I am.

Just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble.

He's right. Nobody benefits, and you'll just hurt her.

And there won't be a relationship left to rebuild.

Don't you think...?

If you have to tell her, at least wait till the timing's right.

And that's what deathbeds are for.

- Yeah, okay. - All right.

Okay. Now, we just have to make sure she doesn't find out some other way.

Did you think about the trail?

What trail?

From the woman you did it with...

...to the woman you hope never finds out you did it!

Always think about the trail!

I don't think there's any trail.

Okay, okay.

Chloe works with that guy, Isaac.

Isaac's sister is Jasmine, who works at the massage place with Phoebe.

Phoebe is Rachel's friend, and that's the trail! I did it!

"After applying the Waxine and linen strips to leg..."

- Did that! - Okay.

"Grasp the linen strip by its tab...

...and pull it off in one quick...

...pain-free motion." - Okay.

Ow!

Was it not "pain-free"?

No, it was pain-ful!

My God, they should call it "Pain-zine, now with a little wax."

The girls on the commercial don't seem to think it's that bad.

Because their nerves are deadened from being so stupid.

But, you know, if you don't believe me, please be my guest.

Ow, ow, ow! Oh, my God!

Now are you glad we didn't start with the bikini strips?

Chloe, hi.

Is this about me taking your watch?

- You took my watch? - I'm sorry. I do that.

You keep it. Listen, did you tell anyone about us?

Oh, no. I feel like it really isn't anybody's business.

Exactly. So you didn't mention anything to Isaac?

- Oh, I tell Isaac everything. - You do? Of course you do.

Hi, Isaac. You know, we haven't actually met.

You dog!

Yes, I suppose I am a dog. But see, I happen to have a girlfriend.

Right. Rachel from the coffee place.

That's the one. Listen, I don't want to hurt her.

Oh, hey, man, I know. It doesn't matter how much we love them.

Monogamy is too cruel a rule.

Yeah. Listen, can you keep this information to yourself?

Oh, no problem. We gotta look out for each other.

We're the same, you and me.

Actually, no, we're not. Heh.

Yeah, we are.

No, we're not.

Yeah, we are.

No, we're not.

- Okay, we're not. - Right.

But we are.

Fine. I just need to know that you're not gonna tell your sister.

I can promise not to tell her again.

- Jasmine? - Uh-huh.

We met at Phoebe's birthday party. I'm Ross Geller.

You did a bad thing!

- Yes, I did. - Very bad!

- Very bad. - Very, very bad!

I'm agreeing with you.

Listen, did you happen to tell Phoebe yet?

- No. - Okay. Jasmine.

Please. Please don't.

I love my girlfriend very much and I want to work it out with her.

All right.

Thank you. Thank you.

But you should talk to my roommate. I told him, and he knows Phoebe too.

Who's your roommate?

Gunther! Gunther!

Tell me you didn't tell Rachel about me and the girl from the copy place.

I'm sorry.

Was I not supposed to?

- Ow! Ow! - Ow! Ow!

Ow, ow, ow!

We're all right. - It's okay. It's okay.

- Ooh! We were just waxing our legs. - Off?

For your information, this is a pain like no man will ever experience.

You can't make that statement unless you've been kicked in an area...