Very Annie Mary

# Dilegua, o notte!

# Tramontate, stelle!

# Tramontate, stelle!

# All'alba vincero!

# Vincero!

# Vincero! #

- (Horn honks) - Goodbye!

Hello, Father!

For what we are about to receive may the Lord make us thankful.

Go on, then. Happy birthday.

It's a cabbage.

It is a cabbage.

We can have it tomorrow with the kippers.

Why the long face?

What long face?

I'm fine.

I can't eat this.

It's got a teacloth in it!

Go to the chip shop, please.

- What did you do today? - I played the piano...

Do not play the piano unless I am here.

That's not fair!

When you can afford to replace the piano

given to your grandmother by Ivor Novello,

you can play to your heart's content.

Until then, keep your hands off it.

10 minutes, no more.

- (Man) Hello, Annie-Mary. - Hello.

- Don't mind me! - Here he comes.

Biggest crook in the valley. Are you ready?

I'm going to a council meeting.

Council? No show without Punch.

How are you, Jack?

Plodding toward the day of resurrection, Mr Pritchard.

But not enough sex, this is my complaint.

Always my complaint.

# Just a song at twilight

# When the lights are low

# And the flickering shadows

# Softly come and go

# Though the hearts feel weary

# Sad the day and long

# Still to us at twilight

# Comes love's old song

# Comes love's old sweet...

# Song #

Hello!

- Thanks, love. - Thanks, bye!

- Go say hello to Bethan. - All right.

Hello! Can't stop, Father sent me out for supper.

Colin Thomas is becoming a Baptist minister.

He had an interview Tuesday.

- What do you mean? - His mammy come in.

He never said.

When did he say he's off?

Well soon, I think.

I've got to go. Father's waiting.

My great uncle was a minister.

- Wanna see his old uniform? - All right.

- Happy birthday! - Oh!

Thank you!

Father gave me a cabbage.

I might get picked for the Mayor's annual charity

and sent to Disneyland.

You'd be dying if they did that. Don't think that, Beth.

You won't be picked by the Mayor.

- Hiya. - What've you got on?

It's my birthday present from Bethan Bevan. How are you?

Is it true you're joining the ministry?

- Gossip's for frogs. - Where will you go?

All over. Java, Malta, Italy.

Wherever the Baptists send me, where God is needed most.

You look better with a fringe.

- Can we kiss, Col? - What?

It's my birthday, I'll pay you fr it.

Look, want one?

No, I do not.

I'd be good at sex, I would.

I'll pay you. Don't tell my father I smoke.

I don't want money. How much?

50p over 20 weeks or a pound for 10.

- I'm not doin' it 10 times! - No, only once.

I pay you like on a fridge, in divvies, a pound a week...

I'll pay you off in 10. You'll still be here, won't you?

I'll be off by then.

Should I join up with the Baptists?

Will they let me teach singing?

I dunno. Ask your father.

# Boum

# Quand notre coeur fait boum

# Tout avec loo dit boum

# Et c'est l'amour

# Qui s'eveille

# Boum

# Il chantait "Love in Bloom!"

# Au rhythme de ce boum

# Qui redit boum a l'oreille

# Tout a change depuis hier et la rue

# Et des yeux qui regardent aux fen-tres

# Y a des lilas et y a des mains tendues

# Sur la mer le soleil va paraitre

Boum!

- # L'astre du jour fait boum! - Boum!

- # Tout avec loo dit boum! - Boum!

- # Quand notre coeur fait boum - # Boum, boum, boum, boum #

Thank you. I hope you enjoyed that.

Meanwhile...Mrs Ifans,

do you have any requests for the tabernacle song

at the Mayor's charity launch?

Oh, well...

The Sermon On The Mount

to the tune of Andrew Lloyd-Webber's "Cats"?

Oh, very nice, very nice, yes.

Lord Lloyd-Webber's a personal favourite of mine.

Yes, we'll have that scored for next Tuesday.

Meanwhile, here's something we've been working on

along those very lines.

Here, Annie-Mary. Oi.

All right, boys?

And this one... is for all the ladies present.

# Blessed are the pure in heart

# For they shall see God

# Blessed are the peacemakers... #

The Zion Chapel are having a lick of paint, I see.

Ah, they know nothing about humble up there.

What's in the sandwiches today, then?

Jam today. Jam.

No, it's been jam all fucking week.

- Cake? - Jam tart?

Oh, jam tart, yes. Thank you, thank you.

- (Applause) - (Father) Thank you very much.

Thank you, Mr Pugh, that was wonderful wonderful wonderful.

- Thank you, Minister. - Thanks.

Now, as you all know,

it is that time of year again come again,

the Mayor of Ogw's annual charity launch.

So...

you miserable, wretched sinners...

let us pray.

Oh, Lord, our saviour, hear us today

so that little Bethan Bevan...

...may hurry on over to Disneyland,

And do... whatever they do do there.

I haven't seen the Mayor tonight, Mr Pugh, have you?

He's at the council meeting for the charity launch.

- Pugh? - Oh, Minister.

Can you help me with my...Puccini?

Puccini, is it? Well yes!

It's the vowels, you see, I'm all ready for those...

- (High-pitched) E's! - Yeah?

This is it. Yeah, this is it.

Perhaps we could help each other.

Would you test me on my Leviticus?

I feel I know it backwards. I know it like a vest.

Yes, be very careful about learning it backwards.

It's the devil's work in that, you see.

Look, can you slip me a couple of custard tarts, eh?

How about a nice cream horn for the wife?

Eh? Eh?

You're wicked, wicked, wicked...

What a magnificent sponge.

Phew...

- It's got... - Apricots.

Apricots, is it?

It's nice.

Springy.

Feel the dimensions of its sizeableness.

I get awful sad at twilight.

I have a desolate pang...

when I'm on my own.

Yes, well...

this is it.

# Tout avec loo dit boum

# Da, di-di dum... # Da, di-di dum...

# Boum... # Oh!

Don't walk so close to me!

Here, comb your hair. It's a right mess.

My mother was a handsome woman.

Virtue bejewelled her person like pearls do the ignorant.

Oh, she was a handsome woman.

Covered in eczema, head to foot.

Went cross-eyed in the end.

Duw, rest in peace.

Who have you got in there, Mervin?

Ricey Reece, the publican.

Let me give you a hand.

Here you go, to me. Oof!

Natural causes, mind. Drunk himself to death.

A few pints went in here.

A few.

Bloody hell.

# I hear you

# Calling

# Me #

Night, Father.

Oh, very good, Annie. Nice playing.

Father!

What would you say if I was thinking of leaving the nest?

Say goodbye...to the hearth?

- What are you saying? - Nothing.