The Carmichael Show

The Carmichael Show is recorded in front of a live studio audience.

Wow, Nekeisha.

This place looks a lot different

from when Bobby used to live here.

Yes, hot pink and animal print.

Oh, you're making a lot of bold choices in here.

This looks like the front room

where you pay to get in the strip club.

Joe!

I need to explain something; I've been to strip clubs.

Man, I am excited about moving back in here.

You know, giving our relationship another shot.

But-but this time, it's not a real relationship at all.

It's just two platonic friends,

uh, sharing the rent and a bathroom

and sexual tension.

There will be no sexual tension, Bobby.

See, there it is.

Okay, Joe, so how many strip clubs are we talking about?

I can't believe I...

remember something trivial like that.

That's like me asking you

how many Burlington Coat Factories you been to.

Seven.

I've been to seven Burlington Coat Factories, Joe.

Thirty-two.

Look at you. You're moving out of Mom and Dad's,

and that's amazing.

And you're moving back in with your ex-wife,

and that's...

amazing.

Uh, Nekeisha, is this ottoman

- okay to sit on? - Uh, that's not a ottoman.

That is just one of my sweaters thrown over some shoeboxes,

but you can sit on it.

Oh.

I'll just stand.

Thank you so much for having us.

Nekeisha, you expecting somebody?

Nekeisha Williams.

I know you're home.

- Shh. Everybody shut up. - Open up.

Are we in danger?

Nekeisha, who's at the door?

- No one. - Who wants to play a game?

Ooh, ooh, I got a game.

It's called, uh,

who the hell is at the door, Nekeisha?

I got a game.

Let's play Follow the Leader.

Out the window, down the fire escape.

Line up fastest to slowest.

Well, how do we know who's fastest?

See you in the car, Joe!

What is going on here, Nekeisha?

Open the door or I'm coming in.

Nekeisha, I need you to be honest with me.

Do you have cocaine in this apartment?

You cannot come in here. That is illegal to come

into somebody's apartment without their permission.

No, it's illegal for you not to pay your rent for three months.

We've already given you your final eviction notice.

We've been through this before.

Don't act surprised.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Evicted?

I just moved all my stuff in here.

Then you can act surprised.

And I told you, no pets.

Can you believe that guy?

Kicking me out of my own home.

Shoot, you? He kicked both of us out.

Look, Nekeisha, of course he kicked you out.

He said you hadn't paid your rent in three months.

I mean, what did you expect to happen?

I thought he had to hand me the eviction notice in person,

so I just kept trying to avoid him.

How did you get so far behind?

They kept doubling my rent.

Ever since that Whole Foods moved in around the corner,

I don't know what it is,

but there's something about cold-pressed juice

that make people feel safe.

It's been a rough day.

I'm just gonna unbutton my pants and lay down.

Excuse me.

You know, there's a term for what's going on with Nekeisha.

Poverty?

Or a bad attitude?

You know, she's kind of

like if a TSA agent and a postal worker had a baby.

What? No, no.

You know, it's no coincidence that a Whole Foods moved in

and Nekeisha is getting pushed out.

It's called gentrification, and she's a victim.

She's a victim?

She's unbuttoning her pants in our bed right now.

I think we're the victims.

Gentrification. I've heard Spike Lee say that word

on CNN every 25 minutes.

Yeah, that's one of those long words

I was told to be afraid of.

Gentrification, hypertension,

refinance...

I know I'm missing a word, but y'all get the point.

Yeah.

Well, Dad, let me explain what gentrification is.

You see, gentrification is a beautiful thing where...

Mesothelioma!

I knew I was missing a word.

Carry on.

Well, gentrification is essentially

when developers look at a neighborhood the way

Richard Gere looked at Julia Roberts in Pretty Woman.

You know, you see past all the flaws of the past.

You see a perfect spot for a Starbucks

or an Ethiopian restaurant run by non-Ethiopians.

So you're saying gentrification is like when rich people

say to a neighborhood, "I can change you."

And the neighborhood is like, "Good, because I want to leave

this dirty prostitution life behind."

And-and the rich people

are like, "Well, I'm gonna give you a bunch of money.

"Go clean yourself up so you don't embarrass me

in front of my classy friends."

Yes, yes.

That's exactly what it is, Ma.

It's when really nice rich people

give a bad neighborhood a new beginning.

What? That is such a glorified view of gentrification.

Well, what is it, then?

And can you use a movie example?

Well, I don't have a movie example,

but I can just tell you what it means,

- if that works. - Well, I suppose,

but just know I'm gonna be thinking of a movie example

the whole time.

Look, gentrification is when developers see

an opportunity to make money

off of a low-income community.

You know, they buy up a bunch of property for cheap,

and then they build high-end apartment complexes

and restaurants and stores,

and that attracts wealthy new residents,

and then that drives property values up

until people are forced out.

Now, I know you're trying to say something negative,

but everything you saying so far sounds good to me.

I mean,

you're basically just describing how to win at Monopoly.

Look here.

Those people you pushing out got names, like Nekeisha and Bobby.

And those buildings you're talking about

is like this one right here.

Bobby's got a point.

You and Jerrod are living in this newly-renovated apartment

just minutes from Nekeisha's.

And just the other day, you all were going on and on

about the fancy ice cream parlor

that just moved into your neighborhood.

It's actually a Japanese shaved ice shop.

You're not helping your case, Maxine.

It sounds to me like the two of you are the gentrifiers.

What? No, no.

Jerrod and I are not those people.

Well, of course we are, Maxine.

I mean, think about it.

Our street's shut down every Sunday for a farmer's market.

You know your spin class instructor by name.

Sometimes we take jogs around the neighborhood

just to appreciate all the murals around here.

You know, a mural on the side of a warehouse

is the official flag of gentrification.

Yeah, but I have a social conscience.

I mean, I support local business.

I give my leftovers to homeless people,

even if I know I'm gonna want them later.

Well, a lot of those people are friends of mine

that's being pushed out for you and your farmer's markets.

How come everything around here got avocado in it now?

Bobby, please.

Quit acting like this neighborhood used to be amazing.

I mean, when you first moved in,

you were afraid to go out at night.

I mean, buildings were falling apart, drugs were everywhere.

If anything, I'd say people like me

made this neighborhood better.

How?

By kicking people like me out of it?

You sound real arrogant right now, man.

Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay, you guys, come on.

- I mean, this is complicated. - No, no, it's simple, Maxine.

Jerrod gentrified me and Nekeisha

out our own neighborhood.

And now I got to move back in with Mom and Dad.

You're blaming me for this, Bobby?

You were living with Mom and Dad this morning.

It's really not that big of a move, man.

I can't believe you gentrified a member of your own family.

You two are brothers!

Now, listen.