Jane the Virgin

Okay, people.

Time to reboot and refresh.

As we all know by now,

Jane was accidentally artificially inseminated

with Rafael's sperm.

Meanwhile, Rafael's ex-wife Petra

intentionally inseminated herself with his sperm,

because she really does love him.

I know, it's crazier

than anything Jane could dream up.

And remember, she's in grad school to become a writer.

Oh, and speaking of unexpected developments...

- Jane? - Grandpa?

Rogelio's mother outed his father.

Your grandfather is gay.

So, yeah, mama drama.

Oh, and speaking of, Rafael just learned

his mother Elena is the international crime boss

known as Mutter.

And Detective Michael has just realized that as well.

- It's her! - But unfortunately,

they did not get there fast enough.

So let's hope Rafael's okay.

Let's begin today with a portrait

of the writer as a young woman.

It should be noted that 232 hours of babysitting,

all of her Quinceañera gift money,

and three weeks of comparison shopping

had led young Jane Gloriana Villanueva

to this very moment.

Now I can write anywhere

anytime.

And so she took her first laptop everywhere,

waiting for the muse to strike.

And she waited.

And still waiting.

Seriously, anytime, muse.

She's ready.

And just when she was beginning to feel defeated,

there it was.

That's when Jane learned a very important lesson.

You never know when inspiration will strike.

And let me tell you, when it happens...

there's nothing quite like the rush

of finding the flow.

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A night like this is just the best feeling in the world.

Well, to a woman who's never had sex.

Ah!

_

Because I finally cracked my novel.

I tried, like, ten different openings.

And then last night, it just came

in, like, a rush.

Yay, yay, yay!

Why are you so happy?

Because you cracked your novel.

And after last night,

Rogelio finally sees his mother

for the master manipulator she is.

Ah, yes, last night.

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_

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You don't.

I do.

Mom.

Come.

Let's check in on the master manipulator, shall we?

And in honor of the first day of shooting

of Tiago A Través Del Tiempo.

Wow, she is good.

- I know what you're doing, Mother. - Huh?

You're trying to seduce me into forgiving you

with a perfect blend of savory and sweet breakfast items.

_

But it will not work this time.

Rogelio, I am simply making you breakfast.

It's what I always did

before your professional milestones, okay?

- _ - So, when you say your line,

show you them your beautiful soul

and your beautiful teeth.

Chewel's Gum oozes with flavor.

Enough.

I know we made an amazing and dynamic team.

But that doesn't change the fact

that you lied just to get my sympathy.

Well, that is right.

I-I did.

But that's because I knew that when the truth came out,

I wouldn't have it.

I just want you to be happy.

You and Dad both.

Oh, and we were, we were.

That is what's making this

so difficult.

I knew that your father

had his stuff on the side.

But we were partners in other ways.

So why is he now trying to, trying to change everything?

Rogelio?

Please... talk to him.

Convince him

that he doesn't have to leave me.

_

Yep, he definitely has to leave her.

Wait, where's Mateo?

He was playing right here on the floor.

Mateo!

- Mateo? - Mateo?

Oh, my God, look!

He's crawling!

Oh, my God, he's crawling!

- He's crawling! - Slow down, speed demon.

My computer!

No, no, no, no! Please don't be dead!

- Please. Oh, my God. No, no. Try to turn it on.

- _ I am. Oh, my God.

I can't believe this. This is the worst thing ever.

Well, maybe not ever.

You'll recall Rafael was injected

with a mysterious liquid by his mother.

- _ - Or Mutter, as it were.

Where is the flash drive?

What are you talking about?

The flash drive you traded for Mateo. Who did you give it to?

I gave it to Rose.

No, she doesn't have it. Who does?

I think we can all agree that that's worse than possibly

breaking a computer. But in fairness to Jane,

she didn't know any of that.

And hardship isn't a competition.

My mother...

Yeah, we know. We know.

_

Why'd you want to talk to me alone?

Because my mother wanted the chip.

The one we traded for Mateo.

Do you even want to know what's on the chip?

- No. - All of the faces

Sin Rostro changed.

But I gave that to Nadine to give to Rose.

My mother says Rose doesn't have it.

Oh, my God.

Nadine must not have given it to her.

That's why I wanted to talk to you, away from your partner.

'Cause we probably broke some laws trying to get Mateo back.

You didn't. I did.

It should be noted that at this moment

Michael knew he had to come clean.

But that didn't make it any easier.

- What the hell, Cordero? - Jane's baby was taken.

I had to get him back.

- This, it's... - I know.

But the chip, that's what

this is all about.

Rose took Mateo to get it.

Elena took Luisa to get Rose to give it to her.

But Rose doesn't have it

because Nadine didn't give it to her.

So where is it?

I don't know. Yet.

But give me some time, please.

What-what are you... what are you gonna do?

Please... Wait.

Hold on. Just...

Yeah. I'm not sure if we can recover the files.

I'll ask you to keep in mind that, like hardship,

the importance of files is relative.

Please. If there is anything you can do, it is so important.

Th-These are important files?

Well, in that case,

then I'm gonna really try.

Yeah, I guess you get that a lot.

It's all relative, you know? Look,

I'm gonna give it to you straight.

OJ, it's like napalm for keyboards.

But it's okay. It's okay. L-Look, I-I've done this before.

I'm gonna go in the back, run some diagnostics.

You wait right over there.

Regardless of what happens,

I'm gonna set you up with a sweet cloud service

so that this never happens to you again.

Okay?

Um, heavy flirt alert.

What are you talking about?

The eye contact. The hand on the arm.

He wants to set up your sweet cloud?

Oh. I-I just... My head is not there right now.

I'm in a crisis.

- What? - Nothing. I just think

that the real crisis is that you've lost touch

with the fact that you are a 24-year-old mom

- and not a grandma. - Lina.

I'm serious. When was the last time you got any action?

Virgin action, even.