Family Guy

Hey, you guys ever check Zillow?

Joe, why don't you shut the...

Tell me more about this silly word.

You plug in your address, and it gives you an estimate

of what your house is worth.

But they call it a Zestimate,

because of the "Z" in "Zillow."

How do they...

I just don't have that creative bone.

Wow, my house is way up from when I bought it.

- Mine's up, too. - What the hell?

Mine's way below what you guys's are worth.

Wait, this-this can't be right.

It says... it says my house is a murder house.

What, like-like someone was killed there?

Yeah, it says... it says, in the '60s,

some woman named Doris Billingsly died in my house.

Probably some naggy bitch, right?

- Joseph! - You know, they say

when someone dies violently like that,

- their spirit can linger. - What do you mean?

I'm saying you might have a g-g-g-g-g...

disembodied spirit in your house!

Wow, this is so cool.

Have you ever witnessed anything strange there?

Actually, now that you mention it...

Good news!

The biopsy was negative.

Did you hear something?

Hi, Chris.

Oh, hey, Kristen. What's up?

Not much. I wanted to know

if you're gonna go to the dance on Friday.

Nah, probably not.

Oh, that's too bad.

I was thinking maybe you and I could go together.

Oh, that's sweet, but, like I said,

I-I don't think I'm gonna go.

Well, if you change your mind...

I said no!

Okay. Geez.

Bye, Chris.

Uh, Chris, that very attractive girl

just asked you out, and you said no.

Well, sorry, Brian, she just doesn't do it for me.

I'm hungry.

I might grab a bite to eat.

We all just ate, right?

What's wrong with that kid?

Why wouldn't he go out with that girl?

Who knows? Maybe he's gay.

What? No.

Well, you never know. I say we find out.

You think he could be?

Hey, I've been right about these things before.

Remember what I said in 2009?

- Bruce Jenner is a man. - No, Brian.

That's what the press would have you believe, but he's not.

Bruce Jenner is a woman.

An elegant, beautiful Dutch woman.

Okay, guys, now, the murder took place down here in the basement,

so it's probably our best shot at finding something.

I do feel a presence in the air.

Only Lucifer would reveal himself to you, adulterer.

Well, now, I have to warn you fellas...

The only spirits I'm used to chasing are whiskey and tequila.

That's so Joe!

Wow, what's going on down here?

Trying something new for Joe.

And we're looking for ghosts.

We're like the male version of the female Ghostbusters.

Peter, there's no such thing as ghosts.

I don't know why you guys listen to a word he says.

That's so Lois.

All right, we ready?

Wow, it is creepy.

So, what do we do?

Just follow my lead.

Are there any spirits present

that would like to communicate with us?

What the hell was that?

I got scared and tried to run through the wall,

leaving a hole shaped like me.

Yeah, can't do that in a basement, bud.

All right, fellas, I just finished up an EVP session.

Let's see if we picked anything up.

What's EVP?

Electronic voice phenomenon.

Oftentimes, the human ear can't pick up paranormal sounds,

but electronic recording devices can.

Mm. That right?

Is this whole thing just you beefing into the microphone?

Yeah.

Dad, they did this bit in the lady Ghostbusters.

Did you hear something?

Stewie, I'm telling you, there's no way Chris is gay.

Oh, why, because he never hit on you?

God, the ego.

Hey, Chris. What's up?

Just relaxing, listening to some of Charles Manson's music.

What's up with you guys?

Actually, Brian and I are taking a survey,

and we wanted to see if you had a few minutes.

Sure. Go ahead.

Okay, question one.

What night are the Tony Awards?

Tony Danza has awards?

Name an appropriate price to pay for jeans.

Um, five dollars?

What year did Bette Midler release

"You've Got to Have Friends"?

Oh, 1972.

And it was fabulous!

Chris, are you gay?

What? No, I'm not gay.

Well, then why didn't you go out with that girl?

Why would I?

I have everything I need in that department on my computer.

You have 28 windows of porn playing simultaneously?

Sometimes I pretend I'm at the security desk at the mall

and everyone at the mall is banging each other.

Chris, don't you see?

You're so desensitized by all this porn,

you're-you're not even interested in actual girls.

Wh-What are you doing?

I'm taking this, and we are gonna help you start thinking

about sex like a normal teenager.

A-All right, I'll give it a shot.

But it's not gonna be easy.

I had a hell of a time getting off sugar.

Chris, can you pass the syrup?

Oh, you want the syrup, old man?!

Yeah!

Yeah, nice attached head, Meg.

Body, throw potatoes.

Winner declared!

Okay, guys, now, I thought we could try to find the ghost

by doing the movie Flatliners.

- I've never seen it. - Me, neither.

Oh, my God. All right, we are stopping everything right now

and watching Flatliners.

I'm glad we switched to Caddyshack.

You know what, Peter, I think I've had enough ghost hunting.

- I'm done, too. - Yeah, I'm out.

Wait, why you leaving?

Because all you do is screw around.

We've been down here for hours, and we haven't found a thing.

Well, maybe that's because you guys don't know the first thing

about catching ghosts.

You know what, Lois was right.

We should just never listen to you.

Come on, guys.

I think you're all just scared.

Oh, yeah? Let's see who's scared.

What are you doing? Turn that light back on.

Have a good night, Peter.

Quagmire. Help!

Someone help me!

Hey! Open this door!

Don't leave me alone with the ghost!

Help! Help!

Help!

Help! Help!

Help! Help!

What the hell?

Peter, are you okay?

I was... down here all night.

So dark.

Oh, my God. Peter, your hair.

It turned white.

What?

Well, I'm a fat dad with white hair now.

Time to become an issue at Hooters after 9:00 p.m.

Hey, Ashley. Ashley.

Ashley.

I know... I know what car is your car.

So, how'd you get white hair again?

He was scared of a ghost.

Yes, I remember hearing about this in med school.

Or was it a Scooby-Doo?

You think it's gonna stay, Dr. Hartman?

No, it's gonna be "Dr. Ramirez" now.

I'm taking my husband's name.

I'm talking about Peter's hair.

Oh, I'm sorry. Wedding on the brain.

But, uh, as for the white hair, I'm afraid it's permanent.

Hi, sweetie.

We've discussed this.

No to the mole.

Chocolate is for cake, not chicken.

Oh, come on.

He's crying.

What do I do now? I mean, should I dye it back?

I don't know why you'd ask me that.

I mean, I-I don't know anything about that.

How does one even go about dyeing one's hair?

I've never heard of anything so crazy.

Let me get that for you, Doctor.

What? Oh, no, I'm-I'm not a...

Morning, Doctor.