Blue Car

Happy birthday, honey.

The past, everything that went before,

is a dry leaf fallen from a dead tree.

The tree's been cut down,

the leaf crushed by feet and ground into earth.

So now there is only the memory of trees.

l am the disease that rots the bark of trees.

l am rust and gravity.

ln my dreams we are all together again, and my mom is happy.

But then the leaves all fall off the trees, and my dad is gone.

''l call out to him, but wherever he is, he can't hear me.''

Mr Clark, please.

This is AP English. lf you can't extend a modicum of respect to your classmates,

you are free to go right on down the hall to auto shop.

Sorry.

Thank you.

Miss Denning, how do you feel about that piece of writing?

Anyone else? Praise, criticism for Miss Denning's poem?

lt's very nice. Good work.

Anyone interested in vying for the Discovery Award for Young Poets,

we will be discussing the details today after school in Poets' Circle, room 302.

And, just in case the $3,000 scholarship doesn't entice you,

the finals are held in Florida over spring break.

Journals in the box.

Miss Denning...

You can go deeper.

- You're not staying? - l have to take care of my sister.

Do you want me to pick up an application for you?

- They're not gonna pick me. - Auster's judging the finals.

What did he say to you?

Nothin'.

A man in Mexico burst his own eardrums with a pencil and sewed his eyelids shut.

He says because the government is deaf and blind to people's pain.

Lily, shut up.

Look.

Stop it!

You'd better stay in there, you little brat!

Where's Lily?

- Megan... - l didn't do anything.

Lily? Open the door.

What's it gonna take? Huh?

Get ready for bed.

lt wasn't my fault.

l expect you to take care of her when l'm gone.

- Get a baby-sitter. - l can't afford a baby-sitter.

You do have a responsibility to this family.

You had her. You take care of her.

What did you say?

Get out of my sight.

lt's gonna get infected.

You've gotta stop hurting yourself, Lily.

Mr Blazek.

Mr Blazek.

Channelling Bukowski - very good.

Mr Cappo.

l believe ''blow job'' is two words.

Or maybe it's a hyphen.

Miss Denning.

Mr Sadler. Another adventure story.

Crap!

- Want a ride? - No, it's OK.

Come on.

So are you starting to look for colleges?

Oh, l think l'm just gonna stay here and go to Sinclair.

Well, there are scholarships, you know. l mean, in addition to the contest.

Well, l just got a job, so l'm kind of busy.

Have your parents ever read your work?

My mom has school after her work, so she's kind of busy,

and l don't really see my dad.

Ever?

Birthdays and Christmas and...

He and my mom don't really get along, so it's kind of... kind of easier that way.

Easier for you?

We're the building up on the... on the right.

l'd like you to enter the poetry contest.

l can give you my lunch hour a few days a week to help you prepare.

- But l'm not a poet. - Not yet.

You miss the bus?

- You see me on it? - No.

Draw your own conclusions.

Where'd you get those?

Did you take them from the storage space?

Draw your own conclusions.

Put 'em away before Mom comes home.

Who's this?

- Dad. - No, the baby.

l wasn't an angel.

lt's not me. You have his face. Same chubby cheeks, same eyes...

You look just like him.

Lily, get up.

Lily, you'd better be ready to leave in two minutes.

Why are you all dressed up?

Do you have your lunch?

No. l don't want it. Why are you wearing Mom's shirt?

Why are you such a pest?

- That's his house. - Auster's?

Yep. He won some big award for writing a long time ago.

You know that leather book he carries around? lt's his novel.

- How would you know? - My parents used to be friends with him.

lf he told you to enter the contest, you're in.

Sorry.

Oh, no, please, don't be. Please.

Great poets touch the hidden nerve.

So, we need a map of your nerve centres.

lf you're going to reveal them in your work, you need to know where they are.

That's for later.

What was ''The Memory of Trees'' about?

You said ''l am rust and gravity.'' What does that mean?

That l felt bad.

Was there a particular time when you felt bad, or you just felt bad in general?

l don't know.

All right. What was the poem about?

My dad leaving.

So what happened when your dad left?

Was it day or night?

Night.

Did he say goodbye to you when he left?

Miss Denning, l want you to write about that day. ln detail.

Write about the weather, write about what you were wearing, what you were thinking.

Be specific. A whole world emerges from little details.

For example, when we buried my son, l'd forgotten to put in my contact lenses

and l stood over him right before they closed the coffin

trying to fix him in my memory.

l could see the red from his sweater and his blue pants,

and there was a scab on his forehead that hadn't healed - from a bicycle accident -

and l could feel that scab when l kissed him,

but when l looked at him, it was... well, it was out of focus.

So, when your dad left, what were you doing?

l don't remember.

Forget that l'm here. OK? l'm not here.

Now, just close your eyes.

Where are you standing?

By my window in my room.

Did your dad leave in a van, or a taxi, or...?

- A car. - A car.

What colour was the car?

Blue.

OK. Go on.

''You're on a voyage across an uncharted sea.''

''You must believe that there is land beyond the horizon.''

''What land remains as a question mark,

but that is the mystery, the joy of discovery...''

He doesn't write that stuff to me.

- Maybe he'll ask you to the prom. - Shut up.

Meg, Mom wants to talk to you.

Hi.

She won't. She's on a hunger strike.

Well, l can't make her.

Hello?

l thought your class was only till nine.

Whatever.

Meg?

OK. You tell me.

- l don't know. - Why not?

- What's funny? - Nothing.

Well, why did you laugh?

l don't know.

Are you afraid l'm gonna tell you that your work stinks?

- Does it? - What do you think?

Probably. l don't know.

Come back when you do.

lt doesn't stink.

There's a line that l like.

Which one?

''Lost leaves spin past the glass, but the trees don't go, they stay by my window.''

What about the rest of it?

l could go deeper.

Good for you.

So, Meg, how are things going over at Seymour and Cedar?

Fine.

- Did they say they were happy with her? - Well, Steve hasn't called.

Well, l guess that's good.

You don't have school tomorrow, do you, Mom?

No, honey, my interview is tomorrow. Why?

Well, l just have this thing, this writing contest, where we're gonna read our stuff.

What time?

After school.

l don't know if l'll be able to make it. l don't know when l'll be done.

- l didn't call to confirm. - lt's all right. l talked to him this afternoon.

Oh. Well, did he say who else he was considering?

- Somebody in plastics. - A man or a woman?

Diane, stop.

Then you'll have to take the bus to Mrs Rand's tomorrow, OK?

Maybe when l get this job we can all go out and celebrate, huh? The four of us.

- Have you sent Don a thank-you note? - No.

Well, please do that. He didn't have to help you get that job.

l'd like to read your story.

lt's not a story.

- l thought you said... - lt's a poem.

Well, l would like to read it.

- Georgia in the contest too? - Yeah.

Well, maybe her mom can drop you off at Mrs Rand's.

l don't wanna go there, Mom. Her house stinks.

Don't start.

Don went to a lot of trouble to get me this interview,

and if l get that job it'll be a lot more money for all of us, so don't be a pill.

Wish me luck.

- Good luck. - Good girl.

This is called ''Blue Car''.

''l rode my bike past our old house.''