Dave - Second Season

Oh...

yeah.

"What do people make songs about?"

The fuck...?

‐Righty‐tighty, righty‐tighty...

How the fuck does this work?

‐Okay, rhyme...

That's good.

This sucks.

Ugh! Ugh!

Mike, there are ants everywhere!

‐What? ‐There are ants all over the place.

How am I supposed to make an album

if there's fucking ants crawling?

‐Explain that to me. ‐Ants are distracting you from making an album?

‐Yes. ‐Little tiny things that crawl around

‐are really ruining your album‐making? ‐They're on my microphone,

in my studio, crawling on the walls.

Do you see them right here?

‐Acknowledge it. ‐I‐I see it. I am acknowledging it.

I'm also acknowledging this feels like you got

too high again. Is that what this is?

‐I'm not too high. ‐You are.

You have cottonmouth, you're...

...you're dry again. I can hear it.

‐Give me the vacuum, dude. I'll do it. ‐Yeah, take it. And‐‐

‐I'll take care of it. ‐You said you'd clean up the fucking house.

‐That never happened, so... ‐That helps. Thank you so much.

By the way, I'm bringing the ants up to the new label person.

‐Sorry. ‐The new label person gave us this house

to get away from distractions,

and now all you're doing is trying to find distractions.

Dave, I know making an album is hard, but...

Excuse me? What‐what do you know about making an album?

‐Just out of curiosity? ‐I know that you don't have anything.

Not at all. You've got nothing.

And the only way to get something

‐is to start doing something. ‐I'm trying.

Hey, Dave, you ain't never lied about this VR porn, bro.

She getting straight to the action.

You don't need to be holding the remotes. You're in, like‐‐

‐There's nothing‐‐ Are your hands white? ‐Yeah. Why?

‐Why not? ‐MIKE: Because of systemic racism.

‐This is what I'm talking about. ‐What do you mean?

$1,900 last week on sex paraphernalia

‐instead of making an album. ‐Thank God

‐I have these machines. I'm not dating. ‐Oh, shit!

Imagine if I was dating someone right now and spending money

and going on dates, like, that's so time‐consuming.

This is a net savings on time. I have to cream, don't I?

You have to cream? Can you cream a little bit less, then?

‐I love you, Gata. ‐I'm over here just twisting nips, bro.

I see.

‐Elz. ‐ELZ: What's good?

Didn't you have a pretty bad ant problem

at your place at La Brea?

Oh, my God, I wish. I had crickets.

‐They were the worst. ‐What city are you in right now?

‐Is it Copenhagen? ‐Bro, I'm in L. A. right now.

I'm in L. A. I'm just walking my dog.

You're back in L. A.?

‐Yeah. ‐How long have you been back?

‐A week. ‐A week?

And you didn't even tell me about it?

I mean, I don't know, w‐was I supposed to?

That's so weird that you'd not tell me when you came back.

I think it's weirder for you to think that it's weird

that I didn't tell you that I got back home.

‐Okay. ‐But I'm just trying to catch my bearings.

I'm having a thing tonight, though, if you're around.

Me and the homies are gonna throw a little shindig.

So, let me ask you this.

If I didn't call you right now, would I have even gotten

a secondhand invitation to this thing?

Dude, I just started thinking about this

and just started hitting people up about it, so relax.

Is Ally going?

‐By the way, I don't care if she is,

I just have to know those things.

Dude, you're so weird. What if she is there? Whatever.

I texted her about it, but, like,

don't be weird about her coming if she comes, though.

Shut up. Text me the info.

‐All right, weirdo. ‐I love you. Bye.

‐GATA: This shit is crazy.

‐I think I'm gonna see Ally tonight.

Oh, my, I think he's about to ejaculate.

What did you think was gonna happen at the end of the porn?

I'm gonna talk about Korea, you can mention the ants,

but, uh, can you not tell them where you are musically?

This isn't about the ants, okay? This is about setting a tone.

There's a new person we're talking to.

Okay, well, do you realize your pant is coated in mud?

I wouldn't say it's coated, but yeah, I had to deal

with all the ants and I tripped in mud, Mike, sue me.

Okay. I'm not gonna sue you, but it sounds like

‐you had time to change. ‐Mike and Dave.

‐Tessa. ‐So great to meet you guys in person.

‐DAVE: Hello. How are you? ‐Welcome. ‐It's great to see you.

‐Hey. Oh... Hey.

‐Uh... ‐So good to put a name to that, there‐‐ to your face.

‐Sure, well, follow me. ‐Okay.

Dave, I hear you are a Perrier man.

I am. You did your research, huh?

Yeah. We got a file on you.

It's great that you're a woman, by the way. That's dope.

‐Thanks. ‐Uh, but let's talk about a few things.

The main thing is that our house is totally overrun by ants.

‐What? ‐And it's disgusting.

‐Completely unacceptable. ‐Oh, my God, Dave,

I couldn't agree more. That's gross.

Oh.

Okay.

That's not the only reason we're here, obviously.

Oh, no, no, no. Please. Your house is infested with pests.

We'll take care of it right away.

Can you hold tight for a second or should

we be talking relocation?

‐How bad is it? ‐It's not bad.

The important thing is that you're identifying it

‐as a problem. Thank you. ‐Yeah.

You should also be aware that we can't be incurred for any costs

that come with poisoning the insectoids or...

‐Oh, no, we got, we got that. ‐Okay.

That's on us, for sure.

Because our budget is already pencil‐dick thin.

‐So... ‐MIKE: Yeah, speaking of the budget, some shit went down

in Korea.

Uh, the‐‐ uh, I've been reaching out

to the State Department as well as multiple insurance companies.

‐Our intern Dan‐‐ who is safe, by the way... ‐Mm.

...is working a desk job, he's been militarized.

‐Oh.

I think it'll be good for him, to tap in...

You know, we can talk about Korea later.

I was thinking today would be the perfect opportunity

to finally set that release date.

‐Release date? ‐MIKE: I don't think we're‐‐

I don't think today's the day we're actually gonna

commit to something, though, unfortunately.

I‐I can't see myself committing to anything of the sort.

Look, I get it. I do, but, you know,

once you settle on a date, that helps us unlock

what we can do for you.

‐Mm‐hmm. ‐You know, the marketing, the promos,

avoiding other releases, and dates get snapped up, quick.

‐Yeah. Yeah. ‐But, you know, just, whatever you're comfortable with.

A‐And I get it. I used to be a marketing guy.

I think about these things all the time.

‐I sit at home and I think. ‐Mm‐hmm.

I have, like, things written down, all over the room,

‐written. ‐Love that.

What if we released my album on 9/11?

‐MIKE: Mm. Hmm. ‐Yeah.

Honestly, in my humble opinion, 9/11 the date

should not always be about 9/11 the attack.

‐Forever. ‐TESSA: Ooh. ‐Okay, well,

this 9/11 the date is the 20th anniversary

of the 9/11 attack, so this year it heavily will be.

Mm. What about April Fools' Day?

Dave, are you kidding? That's genius.

‐DAVE: Right? It is clever. ‐It's so clever.

‐4/1. ‐But will people think it's real?

‐Yes. ‐They'll press play and they'll know it's real.

All right, it is smart.

Good, well, how about‐‐ why don't we just pencil it in?

‐No, put it in pen.

Done.

‐DAVE: I like it. ‐I love it.

‐We'll do 4/1. Perfect.

Do ants have souls?

I think all animals have souls.

Yeah, but an ant's not an animal, it's an insect.

Insects are animals.

They eat, breathe, have intentions, social groups.

What do you think a soul is?

So, a fish...

is an animal.

It's not a fish.

A fish is most definitely an animal.

A lamb is an animal.

‐A chop. ‐We're not gonna list animals right now.

All right.

How are you and Ally getting to this Elz thing tonight?

‐I'd love to... ‐I'm...

...get in sync about arrival and...

It...

You don't even have a soul.

I can't lie, I'm pretty jacked up about the whole thing.

I'm been thinking about it all day,

really playing out how it's gonna go.