Why Does Every Handsome Guy Have a Boyfriend?!

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Every girl dreams of her wedding day.

The venue,

the motif.

The flowers.

The music.

Even the front of the invitation, we imagine.

Then of course, there's the groom.

The man we're going to spend our life with.

That's Henry.

My first love.

I have great taste, don't I?

We were high school sweethearts.

I knew he was perfect husband material, right from the start.

Gentleman, check. Smart, check.

Handsome as hell. Check and double check.

But we, apparently, weren't meant to be.

Kylie, move back.

Because as it turns out, that goddamn handsome son of a bitch is gay.

Uh... Sorry.

Let's begin the ceremony.

Oh. That smile? It wasn't fake. It was totally sincere.

Fine.

About 12 years ago, yes, I was bitter, but I've moved on. I'm okay now.

For real.

In fact, they even hired me to be their wedding planner.

What's the 411?

Even if I failed with Henry/Henrietta,

somewhere out there is the one for me.

Kylie!

That's Tom. Isn't he hot? He was my first kiss.

We became a couple in college.

I remember all my blockmates being incredibly jealous of me.

I can't blame them because, well, look at him.

How are you?

Good!

So good to see you. It's been a long time.

Thank you.

And you look beautiful, as always. Cheers!

Oh...

Excuse me. Just a sec. Hello.

We are so compatible,

to the point that we have the same taste in everything.

As in everything.

Name it, we got it covered.

We both loved watching romantic movies, going out to clubs, going to the beach.

-And most of all, we both loved... -Daniel, finally. You're late.

Boys.

Yes, for the second time in a row,

I fell victim to another gay guy who hadn't yet come out of the closet.

Maybe third time's the charm, right?

That's Benj.

He's my boss and everybody's crush at the office.

-Benj! Hi! -Yes, come here.

In the two years that we dated,

he made me feel like I was the only woman in his life.

In fairness, that was true...

Because all the others were men.

Just my luck, right?

And up until now, Benj is still in the closet.

I'm the only one he has come out to so far.

That woman is insane.

She made me her photo booth.

My God, she even picked out nice filters.

-Good evening, ma'am. Good evening, sir. -

Thank you.

You know how this goes. Hold on.

Oh.

Thank you.

You know, I really don't have anything against gay guys.

I'm okay with guys being gay.

But I'm fed up being their cover girl.

Yes. Cover girl.

I cover for them. I'm the perfect ruse.

I become a cover-all for every one of these closeted men.

Gay.

Gay-ish.

Kind of gay.

Baby gay.

Gay all the way.

Enough is enough.

The pain must stop.

To all the closet gays out there...

...you can't fool us anymore.

I can smell you from miles away!

You! Admit it, you're gay, aren't you?

No!

You're gay! You're gay.

This guy, gay. Happy foundation day!

You're gay! You're gay. You're gay.

Gay. Gay. Gay!

There are so many of you. What about us girls?

Is that how it's going to be now?

A game of tug of war? Last man standing?

You're all gay!

Girl, that's enough. So embarrassing.

What about us? What about us women?

Hey! You're back home in the morning again.

This isn't how a lady acts.

You know, you'll end up being an old maid.

All you do is work, you come home drunk.

Hey! Are you listening to me?

Yes, Mom.

Mom is right, sis.

You're one to talk. Why don't you fix your job applications?

My savings account is all but gone because of your allowance.

Am I not working on it? I really want to get this job.

I hope I'll get this job. The HR guy who interviewed me was so cute.

Look at this!

- -Let's see.

Yes.

Dina, can I buy some pork rolls?

He has dimples. You just can't tell.

Sure, one moment.

Sure, one moment.

He's gay.

All our consultations today were canceled.

Henry's referrals.

Probably got turned off because of your silliness.

If I had a uterus,

it would've shriveled up and died because of you.

I'm sorry.

If you want, you can fire me.

Being dramatic doesn't suit you, hon.

Just promise me that you won't repeat that scene you made, okay?

I promise it won't happen again.

I'll be a good girl from now on. That's a promise.

Hey! It's Diego.

- -What? What's happening?

It's Diego. Diego's here...

Who is Diego?

The Diego.

My childhood friend.

My first love, from elementary till college.

And the reason I discovered that deep inside my heart

there was a princess searching for her Prince Charming.

But then he moved to America.

Benj! Benj!

You okay?

Diego, I can't breathe.

We'll take you to the clinic.

No. I won't make it. I need CPR.

CPR? He said CPR.

Mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.

But Benj, you're not unconscious.

What?

Benj! Benj!

I know CPR! Make room! Stand aside!

Does he know you're gay?

No.

Does he know he's gay?

No, but one day,

-he'll realize that... -Are you okay?

...he loves me.

I just know that now is the time.

See, I can feel it. Look, he says he's got something important to say to me.

Mmm...

What else could it be other than he now realizes that he's also in love with me?

-Girl, I'm getting married. -Mmm.

Excuse me, sir, I need your signature.

I don't think I can do this, girlfriend.

Relax. What boxers are you wearing?

New ones.

Did you go get waxed?

Yes, last night.

Top or bottom?

What the... You're so rude. I'm so nervous.

Benj! Hey! How long has it been?

Too long.

What was it that you needed to tell me?

Wait, wait. Before that, I want to introduce you to someone.

I'm so sorry, honey. I left my cell phone in the car.

It's okay, Fi.

Benj, this is Fiona, my fiancée.

Diego told me that you guys are college best friends.

So I thought, why not hire you to be our wedding planner?

Best idea ever.

Uh... When do you plan to have the wedding?

Two months from now.

Next, next month?

Yeah.

But... that just seems so soon.

That's 'cause I'm only free then.

I'm actually an IT consultant, so, you know, I travel a lot.

Diego here took some time off from the bank, about two months.

Mmm...

But I have to check with my partners if we can manage it.

If not, is it possible to delay your wedding?

Let's say, next year?

Uh...

Or next, next year?

Or never.

You know, I don't know if I could wait that long.

If it were possible, I'd marry her tomorrow.

-Aw... -And I don't care

if we only wear house clothes.

Or if we have the ceremony out on the street.