Private Practice

Can I go to school now?

I'm very good at accepting apologies, Mark.

- I apologized over the phone. - "Fine. I'll bring her to L.A." is not an apology.

- Wh... what is that? - That's just a shadow. That's the baby.

- Where's the ATM? - AVM, sweetheart.

- ATM is where you get money. - You're not gonna see the AVM here.

- That's just a cluster of blood vessels. - That aren't supposed to be there,

- and if you pop them, I'm gonna die? - W... no. Um, Sloan, it's just

a tangled cluster of blood vessels under the baby.

I'm not gonna go anywhere near them,

so I won't be popping them.

I'm gonna go in, uh, laparoscopically

and very carefully cut one of the amniotic bands

- from around the baby's legs. - And then he'll be okay? He'll be able to walk?

- Then he'll be perfect. - Well, that's what you said last time.

That was my fault, Sloan.

- I shoulda let her finish the surgery the first time. - Now that is an apology.

What is that? What is that thing right there?

- Is that something growing out of his head? - That is a penis.

Sloan, you're gonna make yourself crazy

trying to read the ultrasound.

Has her blood pressure always been this high?

Yeah, it's been going up. She's scared.

So am I.

Mark Sloan, Pete Wilder. Pete Wilder, Mark Sloan.

Hi, good to meet you.

- And this is Sloan, Mark's daughter. - Sloan Sloan? - Sloan Riley.

She got her mom's last name.

Oh, okay. Well, Sloan, Dr. Montgomery asked me

to help you try to calm down a little.

- She says you're nervous about your surgery. - What is he, a pharmacist?

- No, alternative medicine. - Dude, you are not putting those needles in me.

- Most people barely feel it. - Dude, you heard her. You're not putting those needles in her.

Dude... Pete is doing me a favor.

With respect, I didn't bring my daughter down here

for witch doctoring.

- With respect, really? - Mark.

- What kind of medicine do you practice? - Plastics.

What are you laughing at?

Ah, nothing. Saving the world one boob job at a time.

- Hey, listen, pal... Okay, okay. Look, enough. Pete, you're gonna do your thing.

- Mark, you're gonna let Pete do his thing. - No, I'm not gonna let Pete...

Oh, yes, you are. I'm in charge here.

And if you want me to do this surgery again, then you're gonna

follow me out of this room right now. Right now Mark. Let's go.

- Hi, Dr. Cooper. - Hey, Cody.

- Is your mom home? - Oh, she ran to the post office.

- She'll be ho soon. - Could we wait inside?

My mom's a super good mom.

I know. She's super nice.

I know. I've met her. You trying to fix us up or something?

No. I just...

Okay, come in.

All right. Follow me.

Just be careful you don't knock over any piles.

- So, uh, your mom likes to hold on to stuff, huh? - She's a super good mom.

I know. You said that. I was thinking maybe

one of the reasons you wanted me to come here was so I could see

- how much stuff she keeps. - Cody.

Oh.

Oh, my God. Dr. Freedman, what are y... what are you doing?

The itching was killing me, mom.

- I was gonna go crazy. - Cody, I would' taken you to the doctor.

- I know, but... - Dr. Freedman,

I... I know what you must be thinking. - No, I'm thinking that, uh,

- We're gonna have to take Cody to the hospital. - What? Why?

- Well, he's got a... a skin infection, a pretty bad one. - Oh, God.

Cody, you can't scratch that, okay?

- Do you want to take him in your car, you can meet me there? - Yeah. Yes, thank you.

Mm-hmm. Thanks so much.

See you there.

- She's crazy cakes! - That's your diagnosis?

Crazy cakes. There is broken crap piled everywhere.

And I'm not just talking unsanitary.

- I am talking insane. - Okay. Well, it sounds like she's a hoarder.

That... that's an obsessive-compulsive disorder, Coop.

Maybe it's genetic.

Maybe it was triggered by a trauma or loss.

- Or we could go with crazy cakes. - If you had seen this place, you would.

Okay. Well, I will talk to her.

It's actually a very hard disorder to treat.

- But, uh, I'll do the best I can. How's the kid? - The kid is smart. The kid is articulate.

I honestly thought maybe he had called me there

as a cry for help so I could see this, but he's got

what I'm pretty sure is a staph infection on his arm,

so maybe he just needed that cast off.

I've got him at St. Ambrose for the arm,

and he is staying there until that house is clean.

- Well, that might take some time. - Okay, but if it takes too much time,

- I'm calling child protective services. - Thanks for the vote of confidence.

Hey, Coop. How's it going with Charlotte?

I can't forgive her.

I'm trying, but I just...

I can't seem to forgive her.

- What is the matter with you? - Me? What's the matter with you?

You're as wound up as I've ever seen you. I am not the one

- starting schoolyard fights with other doctors. - You're wound up, Addie. Just admit it.

Bizzy's a lesbian. What?

My mother... she's a lesbian,

which means the captain wasn't a cheater.

It was all a sham... my whole childhood.

Everything I believed about my dad, my mom, love, marriage...

it's all turned on its head.

- So, yeah, I'm a little... wound up. - Wow.

Your turn.

Lexie dumped me.

Oh.

I asked her to raise Sloan's baby with me.

Or, you know, raise it with me and Sloan.

She's a little young for that, don't you think? - - Do not take her side.

I'm sorry. It sucks.

Yeah.

Your thing sucks, too.

Bizzy's a lesbian?

Thank you.

When did we get so...

old?

I was gonna say sad.

When did we get so sad?

don't you wish we did heroin?

- Addison Forbes Montgomery... - No, no, I mean, don't you wish we did drugs,

drank too much, shot something into our vein?

I mean, nothing, you know, that would make you ruin your life

or kill you or make you have to go to a meeting

and say, "hi, I'm Addison. And I'm an alcoholic."

But just...

you know, Nai... she eats.

She puts food on top of it,

and that numbs the pain,

the malaise, the... the... the sad.

I mean, she puts food on top of it, and she feels good.

But I... I don't...

I have green juice.

I mean, that's all I really like.

And green juice, I can't really put that on top of it.

I want to put something on top of it,

but I don't have anything.

- And I hear you. Numb the pain. - What...

Numb the sad. Feel good. Put something on top of it.

Mark, I said put something on top of it,

not put you on top of me.

My life is in ruins. It's a mess.

I'm about to be a grandfather,

and I'm alone.

I don't know of a lot of surefire ways

to numb the pain,

but I do know one.

Now... do you want to feel better

or don't you?

Oh.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

I...

I can't catch my breath.

Well, we could call in the dude with the needles...

to help calm you down.

Oh. I forgot how much fun you were.

Yeah, well, that's what happens...

when you date children.

- You forget what it's like... to be with a woman. - Hey.

Oh!

No being mean about Lexie.

Did you just spank me?

- Oh, what, what, you want to start something? - Maybe.

- Come on. Bring it, sister. - I will, right now, Dr. Sloan.

Oh, I'll give you more of the same.

- Really? - Oh! My God.

Addi... aah. Oh!

- Sam, close the door! - Addison, this is a place of business.

Uh, Sam, will you, uh, just toss me that shirt there, buddy?

Sam, close the door.

- Hey. - Oh, my God.

Sloan Sloan went right to sleep. The needles worked wonders.

Thanks. Great job, dude.

Okay, then.

Too bad I joined the other practice.

This place has perks.

Sam, close the door!

I keep everything of Cody's

because he might want it someday.

Report cards, trophies.

Mm-hmm. Yeah, and there's other stuff that,

you know, needs to be donated to goodwill or somewhere.

Have you called anybody about coming to pick it up?

- You know what? I haven't gone through all of it just yet. - Do you need help doing that?

I know how overwhelming it could be to be a single parent.

Well, it was easier when his dad was alive,

but Cody and I are, uh, we're okay now. We do fine.

When did he die?

- Three years ago. - I'm sorry. What happened?

I know that you want to help,

but honestly, I don't need... any help.

Cody and I are just fine.

you get 30 seconds. I'm sorry?

We are business partners, so you get 30 seconds

to lecture me on my business practices.

But if you start to lecture me on something not related

to my business practices, I will walk away. Those are the rules.

- Oh, so our friendship has rules now? - No. We're not talking as friends right now.

- We're talking as business partners. - Well, I want to talk to my friend.