Young & Hungry

Oh, sorry. I'll make some more coffee right now.

No worries. I'll do it.

'cause you don't want my grubby peasant hands on it?

No, silly billy.

I can do it myself.

Okay, I'm still in bed dreaming, and I'm gonna be late for work.

Elliot, you're in a pretty good mood,

considering your big 4-0 is tomorrow.

I thought you might be freaking out.

More like getting my freak on.

With Andre.

This is the first time I've ever had a boyfriend on my birthday.

39 years of sorrow,

and I finally get to celebrate my birthday

in my birthday suit.

Oh my god, I love Elliot with a boyfriend.

When he's happy, I'm happy.

Maybe we'll even be friends, which would be great,

because friends don't tell friends

they look like dime store hookers.

Friends say, "Hey, you look cute in that dress."

Hey, cute dress.

Okay, that's it. We've got to keep this love train going.

I'm calling Andre.

Elliot's about to have the most romantic birthday dinner ever.

That's a pretty good idea.

Too bad it's not gonna top my present.

Because I make the most money here,

and I was called a creative genius by a top publication.

Oh, was it Bragging Monthly?

What's that? You want to see what it is? Okay, I'll get it.

Hi, can I speak to Andre of Flowers byAndre?

Hey, Andre, it's Gabi.

Yes, the annoying blonde cook.

Listen, I'm surprising Elliot for his 40th birthday

with a romantic dinner, and obviously I want you to be his date.

Okay, great. Check your schedule, get back to me.

What?

Oh my god.

Elliot and Andre. That's so cute.

I bet this makes you feel pretty lousy about your gift.

Oh my god!

Andre just found out I'm turning 40 instead of 32

and broke up with me.

What?

This is officially the worst birthday ever!

Oh my god!

Don't worry, Elliot.

Andre's not the last guy you'll ever date. - Yeah.

I'm sure you'll get dumped by tons of guys.

I've only ever loved three men in my life.

Andre, my college crush Alan,

and Adam Levine.

And I know it sounds crazy,

but Andre's the only one who loved me back.

I know this might not be the best time to bring this up,

but the guys from Wired are coming to photograph my desk tomorrow

for the Desk For Success column.

Are we ready?

No. - So...

And I mean this in the nicest possible way,

when do you think we'll be ready?

How about when someone loves me again?

So never!

Good morning, beautiful people!

I said what a good morning it is.

Andre broke up with Elliot because he's turning 40.

Out of all the reasons, that's what he picked?

Oh, I'm sorry, baby.

You want to hear a story about somebody else's pain?

That always cheers you up.

My ex-husband Coleman,

who dumped me for a younger woman,

just got dumped by a younger woman...

At the altar.

At least he got to the altar.

How did Andre find out my real age anyway?

The only people who knew were you three.

Which one of you told him?

Not me.

I thought you were 50.

I am so sorry. It was me.

Oh my god, it was you!

Listen, Elliot, I'm really sorry.

I was just trying to do something nice for you.

It was gonna be a surprise. We were gonna be friends.

Well, you ruined that, didn't you?

I will never forgive you, Gabi Diamond!

He just needs some time.

Never!

How you doin'?

My life's over.

You don't understand.

40 is 80 in gay years.

Please. I don't understand?

Men my age want women in their 20s.

Which means the only man I can get

is 120.

Great. I'm in the same fat, old boat as you.

That's right.

You know what I do when I'm feeling old?

I get my lashes done, I freshen up the weave,

I buy new lipstick--

I'm gay, but not that gay.

Oh, I just got an idea.

You know my ex Coleman

is the top plastic surgeon in the city.

You think I need plastic surgery?

I could pass for 32.

And I could pass for Taylor Swift.

Let's see.

Over here...

I'm beautiful.

Okay.

I'm gonna call Coleman right now.

Yes. Wait, no.

I can't make you deal with that cheater for me.

Oh, that's ridiculous.

I'll take you myself.

I want you to be happy. - Since when?

Since it's your birthday.

And since Coleman got dumped, you want to rub it in his face?

Isn't that how you teach a dog a lesson?

Okay, I think I've figured out a way...

To help me?

Last month, Wired featured Elon Musk at his hover-desk.

Oh yeah! I saw that. That was really cool!

I'm not helping, am I?

Look, I know this might not seem like a big deal to you,

But everybody in my business reads this column.

Venture capitalists, potential clients, software developers--

So you want to seem cool?

Yes! - Don't worry, okay?

You're gonna have him back in time for your shoot.

I figured out the perfect

"I'm sorry I ruined your birthday" present.

His parents know he's 40, right?

Why wouldn't they? - So here's my plan.

Since Elliot rarely gets a chance to see his parents,

I'm inviting them to a five-course Korean dinner.

He'll love that.

Here, let's call them now. - Okay.

Hi, Mr. Park? It's Gabi Diamond.

I work with Elliot.

Yes, the annoying blonde cook.

Anyway, Elliot's boyfriend broke up with him

and I don't want him to be alone on his big day,

so I was wondering if maybe you could fly in

for a birthday dinner tomorrow night.

Okay, great. Check with Mrs. Park. Call me back.

So, where are you planning on having this dinner?

I thought you'd never ask. Your terrace.

No problem. And I want to pay for the dinner.

Oh, but you're already paying for their flights.

Oh my God!

Someone just outed me to my parents!

Wait.

Your parents didn't know you were gay?

No. They're super traditional.

They don't even like sex with each other.

How the hell did they find out? - Gabi did it.

I need him. He's the desk whisperer.

You know what, Josh?

I just thought of the perfect birthday gift.

Tell that dime store hooker to get out of my face.

Okay, can I-- - Gabi, home.

Bye.

And that cute dress? I lied!

You're home early.

What'd you do?

I caused Elliot's boyfriend to break up with him,

and then I outed him to his parents,

and if I keep talking like this, everything sounds great!

Holy crap.

Oh yeah. And did I mention it's his birthday tomorrow?

Wait. So, Josh fired you?

No, Sofia, Josh didn't fire me.

We just have a mutual agreement

that things are better when I'm not around.

How do I fix this?

Okay, well, you destroyed his relationship,

you told his parents he was gay.

When do you find time to cook?

Hey, I know. I'll just find Elliot a new boyfriend.

He said he's only loved three men in his entire life.

Andre, Adam Levine,

and some guy named Alan from college.

That's great. So we find Alan from college.

I was gonna say that!

If you don't let me get there, I'm never gonna learn.

Okay, all right.

I'm on Elliot's Facebook page. - Okay.

There's only two Alans.

Alan Thicke and Alan Lowenstein.

I know. It's Alan Lowenstein

because he went to Berkeley

and that is also where Elliot went to college.

Yes, that's the only reason we know which Alan.

Well, today is officially your birthday.

Happy birthday. See?