Survivor's Remorse

Ladies and gentlemen, Cam Calloway.

I just wanna thank Mr. Jimmy Flaherty for bringing me to Atlanta!

There's four people who forced me to believe

that I and they were worthy of a big time dream.

Those four people that believed in me are my family.

You got big, new money now, Cam.

It is not your fault that the world is the way it is

or that where we left ain't paradise.

- I'm just a basketball player. - Not anymore.

Right now, we new money.

Going with Da Chen Bao sets this family up

so that one day we will have old money.

Bottom line, you gotta give back.

How's it feel kicking the world's ass like that?

Oh, the world had it coming.

Home sweet home!

Look at it!

Yes, yes, yes!

Beautiful! Look at this place!

Oh, my God!

Ripped By mstoll

- Them haters said I'd fail. - Man, what haters?

Plenty of folks believed in you, not just these fools.

- Yeah, true. - Mm.

You know, that's just what it seems like I'd say

if this were a movie or something, 'cause right now,

kinda... kinda feels like we live in a movie.

Nah, no, no, no, if this was a movie,

right about now, one of us would be getting shot.

Right? You know I'm telling the truth, too.

What the hell?

Oh, my God!

Julius shot a moose!

- Hey, he was charging us. - It was not.

He murdered it.

It ain't "murder" if you eat it.

I ain't eating no damn moose meat.

That ain't no moose, Ma, that's a deer.

Even worse... I ain't eating Bambi.

Well, we can mount it and make a rug.

Where the hell you get a gun, Uncle Julius?

Bass Pro Shop.

What on earth for?

They have low prices guaranteed.

Look, this is Buckhead, this ain't the forest.

Why you think they call it "Buckhead"?

'Cause you shooting bucks in the head.

I think you got this one in the abdomen.

You can't shoot out here.

Well, I'm not catching "Lames" disease.

It's Lyme disease.

He's still breathing.

- He keeps doing it! - Does this house have a grill?

- Give me the gun. - You ain't got no license.

Come on, come on.

I can't believe you shot Bambi.

We in the Dirty South, we gotta do what dirty Southerners do.

Cam, just think, if I hadn't accidently

launched that lawn chair off your roof deck,

your condo association would've never have kicked us out,

and we would've never moved here to Calloway Castle.

You need to think on how lucky you are

nobody was barbequing 30 floors below,

and your home is here, not the Georgia damn State Pen.

- You're right, Ma. - Family, take it in.

These are the good days that we dreamt about.

This is where we supposed to be, together.

- Yeah. - Together, but enough square footage

- to isolate. - And never have to share a shitter.

Family's that shit apart, stick together.

Well, my shit smell like fresh bread, and I know y'all gonna miss it.

Well, you fools fight over bathrooms, I'm going home to change.

Cam, Flaherty's bowl-a-thon starts at 5:00.

- Let's go. - Bowling?

That's that shit I don't like.

I like any game where the black things knock down the white things,

- and we get points for it. - Racist, yet honest.

Why don't you go for me, Uncle J?

Cam, you're going, okay?

It's Flaherty's party for the luxury box owners.

Well, I'm a player, not a box owner.

- Man, get me out of it, Reg. - I will...

48 minutes after you show.

Bowling's fun for everyone.

Sorry, I tried.

It's a mandatory team event.

If you don't go, you get fined, you know this.

- Well, work your magic, Reg. - Abraca-fucking-dabra.

I just kept 50K in your bank account.

Flaherty fines Cam 50K

for not bowling with some douchebags.

Luxury box-owning douchebags.

Those douchebags help pay these bills.

Look at Missy riffing on douchebag.

I'm not immune to osmosis.

Oh, come on, baby, be grateful and go.

Ma, I ooze gratitude, but the season's about to start.

I had a massive preseason. Why?

Rest and focus. Bowling is neither.

It hurts your back, the scoring is confusing as shit.

- Just tell Flaherty I'm sick. - We don't lie anymore, remember?

- That's in our mission statement. - See, baby steps.

- You know I'm proud of both of you. - Can't we put a few stock lies

back on the table, make life a little easier?

Tell Flaherty you got AIDS.

- What? - Yeah, he ain't risking AIDS.

Bowl-a-thon, not fuck-a-thon, Uncle J.

How's Flaherty catching AIDS from Cam?

HIV is the thing you catch.

Maybe Flaherty got AIDS and he's trying to find a fuck companion.

Yeah, he needs a partner.

Don't you be drinking no drinks with Jimmy Flaherty.

Every event that we attend,

we build favor equity with Flaherty.

His reach is far beyond basketball, we want to tap into that reach.

As the head of your public relations, the man is right.

Just got and relate to the public,

give Flaherty his reach-around, and then you can leave.

Cam, you mind if I get rid of this lawn decoration

that the previous owners left behind?

Uh-uh, that might be worth some money.

- Oh! - Shit.

Even the more reason to smash it.

- Missy, you are gangster. - Bitch, you can't be throwing shit

- around here, girl. - I wanna do it.

Oh, my God.

Man, you know, the more I'm around her,

the more that I like her.

And not to be inappropriate,

but I bet she wears you out.

Mm-mm-mm.

Okay, the "mm-mm-mm," that's pushing it.

- Okay, I did too much on that? - You did.

Here we go. Baby, we gotta go, we gotta go.

Okay, y'all get this shit in the house. Come on, get the boxes.

Missy gotta clean this shit up.

- Jeff Heisner. I own Heisner Paper. - Hi.

Look, I just spent way too much on a couple of luxury boxes,

so you don't suck this year, huh?

- That's the plan... not sucking. - Yeah, good.

Hey, Reggie! Talk to me, pal.

- Oh, Jimmy, your hugs break ribs. - Imagine if we were fuckin'.

Oh, not a day goes by.

Thanks for being here.

I know this is kinda corny.

Ah, I mean, it's bowling, you know.

It's loud as shit, but it's fun, yeah.

Well, this is how we start winning their hearts.

- It's our year, pal. - From your lips to God's ears, huh?

God has done you, Cam, and me pretty good.

What we do with the rest is up to us.

Hey, I want you to meet someone.

Mickey!

Uh, excuse me, do you mind taking a pictures with my kids?

- Absolutely, man. - All right.

Can you lift this one up?

But not too fast, he's been throwing up.

All right.

Uh, Noah, put your arm on the man.

Buddy, if you get sick, just swallow it, yeah?

All right, one, two...

Thank you, Malcolm.

My sister Barbara loves you.

Will you tell her to stop doing heroin?

Um... hey, Barbara.

Babs, and it's a message.

What's that shirt made out of?

Mm. What are you made out of?

I got a massage business.

Yeah, win, lose, it's all bread and circuses, right?

Doesn't matter in the big scheme.

- Know what does matter? - Family.

Numbing the pain of existence.

Stay strong, Babs, uh, you can do it.

I mean, do not do... don't do heroin.

I left my pain back in Boston.

Well, you give Atlanta time,

it'll disappoint you in ways you can't even imagine.

You're loved.

Bottoms up.

- Your sister loves you. - Heroin has ruined your life.

Uh, thanks, but I got practice.

I don't wanna pass judgment.

Her teeth are really fucked up.

Work on your free throws.

- Hey, 48 minutes? - Look, I'm sorry, okay?

Look, I got to talking to the head of Coke.

I'm just trying to expand your empire, okay?

Look, stop chatting and start expanding this force field around me!

I'm like a donkey at a petting zoo, man!

Hey, hey, hey, look around, okay?

Look around, man, your presence is bringing people joy, Cam, all right?

This is part of the dream. Just breathe it in.

I'm breathing it in. It smells like drunk white people.

Man, bullshit. White people only smell when they're wet.

You're supposed to be here

so that I can be here without actually being here.

And when you're not here, everybody else here

is here, right next to me!

Asking me to do a bunch of things