Stealing Home

I wish Katie were here.

She's the one who got me to play again.

If everybody needs somebody to remind them who they are,

Katie Chandler was that for me.

Six months ago, I was as far away from baseball

as I could get.

Things weren't exactly happening for me.

I was living in a motel with some cocktail waitress.

I was as lost as lost could be.

Billy, we have to have a talk.

Listen to me!

What?

Hi, Danny.

Billy, you have a phone call. It's your mom.

Look, Danny, tell her I'm at work, ok? I'll call her back.

Billy, it's your mother.

Hi.

Bill...

I have some terrible news.

Katie Chandler died yesterday.

How?

She shot herself at sea smoke.

Oh, my god.

She left a will.

You're responsible for her ashes.

What?

You're responsible for her ashes.

She said that you were the only person

who would know what to do with them.

Come home, Billy.

I'll leave tonight.

Katie was so wild,

and she hated rules.

That's why she was the greatest babysitter

of all time.

Katie!

Katie!

I'll put the blanket up front.

Katie, we should be back early.

If we're not, there's some leftovers in the fridge.

Oh, Billy can stay up and watch gun smoke,

then he should go to bed.

Bye. Have fun.

Sam!

Play ball!

Sam, we're all waiting!

Hang on! I'll be right there!

Trying to find my wallet.

Tony Taylor steps up to the plate. Here's the pitch.

All right, Billy.

Taylor swings. It's gone!

Cubs lead, 1-0.

We're in trouble.

I hate them.

Sam!

You got to have faith.

They'll bounce back. It's only the first inning.

Even if they do lose,

tomorrow I'll take you to that double-header.

Cool!

All right? Here. See ya.

Alvin dark swings. It's hit. It's gone!

Cubs lead, 2-0.

Katie, stop it!

Relax, mom. Can I drive daddy's caddy, hmm?

No, you can't.

Let's go.

Uh-huh.

Sam, did you find your wallet?

Oh, yeah. It was behind my dresser.

Oh... What have we here?

Sam, you are not getting out of this.

We're down 2-0, but we're coming back!

Bye-bye.

Bye!

Hey, what's the score?

8-0, cubs, top of the third.

Maybe they'll rally.

No, they won't. They never rally. They stink.

I hate the Phillies.

You know, I forgot your birthday. Sorry.

I bought you a present.

It's a baseball.

Now, when things get confusing... and they will...

this will remind you that you're a ball player.

Thanks. Is it too homo to wear around my neck?

No. Drive the girls crazy,

all of them. Trust me.

There you go. Lookin' sharp!

Cool.

I'm bored. Let's blow this pop stand, huh?

Where?

Get your swim suit. Meet me in five minutes.

Where are we going?

To the shore!

That's so far.

What are you? 80? Get in the car.

We'll get in trouble.

No, we won't.

You always say that, and we always do.

I'm in charge.

You have to do what I say.

Yeah.

Get in the car.

Wait a minute. Do you have your license?

No!

Have you driven a car?

Yeah, once. In my parents' driveway.

Oh, god!

Relax.

Thank you, daddy!

Aha!

We're going to talk about girls

because in a couple years,

that's all you'll be able to think about.

I'll tell you what girls like.

Girls like guys who make them laugh. Right?

And girls like guys who talk about something

other than themselves.

And girls like guys who don't break their heart.

Oh, and you know what else?

Girls like guys who smoke.

Let's smoke.

Hold the wheel.

Me?

Now!

These cigarettes are weird.

Yeah, I know. They're grace's.

They're menthols. Hee hee!

They're still weird.

I tell you what. On the way home,

we'll pick up some real cool cigarettes.

Remember that guy I was telling you about?

I broke up with him. He had bad breath.

There's this lifeguard I like down here.

I'm going out with him this summer.

He's got perfect breath.

How's your breath? Let's see.

Good. Keep it that way.

Last one in French kisses my grandfather!

It won't be me!

Woo hoo! Woo!

Why are you doing that?

I don't know.

Well, don't.

Hey... hey!

You're 10. I'm almost 16.

It would never work, believe me.

Our deal is to be best friends, huh?

What's that?

That's the wonderful diving horse.

The first time Hank brought me here when I was little,

I was so excited.

I said, "the horse is going to fly!"

They just dragged this poor horse up to this platform

and pushed him off into a cold tank of water.

Everybody laughed and they clapped.

They thought it was really funny.

I cried. I thought it was mean.

Let's go!

Yee-ha!

Oh, no!

Hank! Hank! Hank!

Pull over!

This isn't funny!

What'll we do?

Wave.

I couldn't believe that Katie left me her ashes.

I mean, why me?

Boy, I wanted to bail out,

but Katie kept pulling me home.