Poolhall Junkies

The pool hall is a great equalizer.

In the pool hall, nobody cares about how old you are,

how young you are, what color your skin is,

or how much money you got in your pocket.

It's about how you move.

And I remember this kid once

who could move on a pool table

like nobody had ever seen.

I mean, hour after hour, rack after rack,

his shots just went in.

The cue was part of his arm and the balls had eyes.

And the thing that made him so good,

was he thought he could never miss.

I know, 'cause that kid was me.

What they're doing is

they're forming this new league, see,

kinda like what they got for golf and tennis,

but for pool.

So they scouted all the best players

from all over the country for 50 spots on this new pro tour.

And then they made their selections.

Last summer, I was in Memphis,

playing Bucktooth for that Chevy.

The tournament director himself

was in the room watching me play,

a guy by the name of Toupee Jay.

Anyway, after playing Bucktooth,

this guy Jay comes up to me,

and he says that even though

all 50 spots on the tour are filled,

after watching me play,

the league would have to make an exception

in my case to carry 51.

Can you believe that? They want me.

He even told Joe that he'd send the invitation himself.

Man, when I was out there playing,

we didn't have no professionals,

all we had was hustlers.

Oh no, I don't wanna be a hustler, Rags.

I wanna be a professional, and I'm gonna be.

I'm just waiting for my invitation.

Hey! What's going on here?

-We were just, ah. -You were just what?

What? You know who this is?

This is Rags, and he's a hustler.

Probably one of the best around.

What'd you do, make him win the first set?

-He's up 20. -He's 20 up?

Right, 20 up, and then you'd be 50 up,

then you'd be 100 up, then you'd be broke.

Come on, Joe, let me play.

I can beat this guy.

Look, maybe you can and maybe you can't,

but we don't deal in maybes, do we?

You don't know all the angles yet, but I do, all right?

He's bad news.

Even if you win, you can't win.

What do you mean even if I win, I can't win?

What does that mean? I don't understand.

You don't have to understand, you just gotta listen to me.

Joe, if the kid wants to play, why don't you let him play?

He may learn something.

Hey, Rags, the only thing he's gonna learn from you

is how to lose.

Now, I'm trying to do something here.

I'm trying to educate this kid, all right?

So if you got something to say, you say it to me.

Otherwise, shut the fuck up,

because he's my kid, all right?

He's my fucking kid.

And I'm gonna make him a champion,

so you stay away from him.

-Mail came today, Joe. -Thanks, Don.

White boy's got skill.

No, he can't.

Damn.

Now, let me get this straight.

You're saying that because you and me are friends,

you're saying that that makes us niggers?

No, no, no, no, no, niggas, alright?

Niggas.

There's a big difference.

That's what I just said, I said nigger.

No, nigga.

Nigger.

Nigga, N-I-G-G-A, nigga.

Nigga?

Yeah.

What the fuck is that?

Man, it mean like we brothers,

you know what I'm saying?

Like if I say you my nigga, right,

that mean we boys, you see?

Like that man you playing right there,

that's my nigga, Charles.

Oh, my nigger, Charles, right?

No, hold it, hold it,

hold it, see, now, you can't say that.

Only I can.

Why?

Because first of all, you don't say it right,

and second, you don't know Charles.

-I do. -You do?

Yeah, I do.

I've been knowing Charles since he was knee-high to a duck.

See, me and Charles, nigga, we down.

You're down?

Yeah, down.

Well, of course you're down, Chico.

You're down about five grand,

now gimme my fucking money.

You know what?

It is absolutely impossible

to have an intelligent conversation

with your white ass.

Shoot pool, honky.

This is our night, Johnny.

This is our night, I can feel it.

I mean, you got them animals in there

eating out of the palm of your hand.

You beat them, you take their money,

you call them names to their faces, and they love you.

I don't know how you do it.

I never seen anything like it.

I mean, beating a man out of his money,

that's easy, anybody could do that.

But beating a man out of his money and making him like it,

that's an art.

That's an art of a true hustler.

But Johnny, it's getting late,

and I don't wanna be here all fucking night, okay?

Now, there's enough drug money in there

that we're gonna need a fucking wheelbarrow to carry it out,

so stop messing around.

I mean, you got a game those people never seen.

And quite frankly,

I'd like to see it sometime myself tonight.

Now, you're gonna go in there,

you're gonna bump up the bet

and you're gonna close this fucking night out.

So stop wasting my fucking time.

Just do it.

A bottle of Jack.

Well, I'll be a three-legged dog

if I'm not looking at the Side Pocket Kid.

You don't remember me, but I saw you play once

about 10, 15 years ago.

I used to wear a rug.

-Toupee Jay? -Yeah, that's me.

I saw this kid play one of the best games

I've ever seen in my life.

He couldn't have been more than 14 or 15 years old back then

but man, he could shoot the lights out.

Now look at him, he's all grown up.

You know, I always wondered what happened to you.

Why you never made it down to Johnson City.

Well, you know, Jay,

I've never been much of a tournament player.

There's no money in 'em.

No money?

We just held the US Open in Atlanta.

First prize was 100,000.

Yeah, but you kinda gotta be invited

to those kinda things now, don't you, Jay?

Well, we did invite you, John.

A couple of times.

I sent the invitations out myself.

Yeah?

I even called and spoke to a backer you had in those days,

but he said you weren't interested.

Something about your parents wanting you to finish school?

Hey John, what was the name of that backer you had anyway?

Was it, was it Joe?

Bet 20,000.

Oh, what's the matter, did I stutter?

Everybody got all quiet and shit?

About a minute ago,

it was like an evening at the Apollo

up in this motherfucker.

Now, all of a sudden it's quiet as a church.

That's all right, Chico,

I don't blame you.

I've been beating this Jimmy Walker-looking motherfucker

all goddamn night, he can't win.

You better watch your mouth, Johnny.

You watch my mouth, Chico,

'cause you sure as hell don't wanna watch me play pool.

Unless of course, I'm blindfolded and handcuffed

with a pool cue sticking outta my ass.

So maybe you'd bet the 20,000 then, right?

Oh, man.

Oh yeah, that's what I thought.

Come on Joe, let's get the fuck outta here.

These guys wouldn't bet $5 if they were black.

Hold this.

You got a bet.

But for $20,000, you gotta play my man, Brad,

in the corner over there.

What're you doing, Johnny?

I only got eight grand on me.