DuckTales

Where are you going?

You're my shadow, you hear?

Curse you, me!

Hey, Fisher, get a load of this.

Huh. That's the fourth weirdest thing we've caught today.

Get your fish hands off me, ya filthy fisherman!

Whoa, whoa, whoa! "Fisherperson."

I mean, your name is Mann, Mann.

Yeah, well, He don't know I'm a fisher, Fisher.

I've never seen this joker before in my life.

Enough! Don't ya know who I am?

No. Who are you?

I... I don't know!

*DUCKTALES (2017)* Season 02 Episode 03 Episode Title: "The Ballad of Duke Baloney!"

Four months after the mysterious disappearance of its CEO,

Glomgold Industries is finally under new, not crazy management.

She's dynamic. She's exciting.

She's never threatened revenge on anyone.

She's Zan Owlson.

Um, hi, everyone. Happy to...

Top of Her Class at Mouseton School of Business,

Owlson founded the global charity "Change For Chicks."

She's a formidable replacement

for failed former leader Flintheart Glomgold.

We cut unnecessary departments

like Harebrained Schemes, Mindless Revenge.

The company was spending a lot of money on sharks.

Owlson is even forming a new charity

along with the company's chief rival, McDuck Enterprises.

It's time this company put people above profits.

Here at the new Glomgold Industries,

our community is the greatest treasure of all.

Ah, fishing.

The noble struggle of man versus nature...

The you gently rowing me around

for several hours while I nap...

The jumping and throwing of pointy sticks! Hyah!

Ew, gross! Can't you just use these?

Sure. But no rusty fishhook is complete without...

Bait! Get your bait here!

- Aah! Glomgold! - Aah! Glomgold!

Hello, children. Bait for sale.

Buy seven tentacles, the eighth is free. Buckets of savings.

Uh, Glomgold?

What's with the South African accent?

Why is your posture so good? What's on your face?

Eh, just a bushy beard

forged from a life on the sea.

What's your angle, Glomgold?

What'd say there about the Glomthere... what?

You kids disrespectin' our new employee?

'Cause Bait 'n' Such is a bully-free zone.

I was just introducing myself.

The name's Duke Baloney. Like the humble sandwich meat.

More like Mr. Full of Baloney.

- Excuse us for one second, Mr. Baloney. - "Full of Baloney."

It's an old-timey expression. You know, it means...

I get it, but this is no time for hilarious, hilarious jokes.

Glomgold's been missing for months, then bam!

He's back as a completely different person.

He's clearly dealing with some kind of amnesia. We gotta help him.

Please. Faking amnesia is like Con Man 101.

This is obviously some kind of setup to trap us and destroy Uncle Scrooge.

Once a bad guy, always a bad guy.

Hey.

Oh, you.

Maybe this bad guy is transforming into a good guy.

Like a reverse werewolf!

For the last time, there are no reverse werewolves.

I'm telling you, that's Glomgold!

How can you be so sure it's him?

Curse you, rope!

It's him.

Sorry for yellin'. Never acted like that before.

That I know of.

Heh. This guy! Found 'em in the bay with no memories.

Just his determination

and a freakishly high tolerance for pain.

It's like he was made for livin'

a hard knock-life on the open water.

All I need to know is that I came from the sea,

and I'll die by it.

His life is like a haiku.

Yeah. It's vague garbage that structurally makes no sense.

He's obviously lying. That's Glomgold, and I'll prove it.

Hey, Baloney Sandwich, you know who you gotta meet? Our uncle.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah. He's very rich,

very Scottish, no beard,

but easily the best billionaire of all time:

Scrooge McDuck! Don't hit me.

He sounds nice.

Duke, are you sure

the name Glomgold doesn't sound familiar?

Wait. You think strappin', noble Duke,

legend of the docks,

is that withered, gross old husk of a man?

Hey, Duke, now that you're a billionaire,

you gonna buy a round of Pep for everyone here?

- Sure. Why not? - Duke! Duke!

- Duke! Duke! - Duke! Duke! Duke! Duke!

What? I want a free Pep.

Duke! Duke! Duke! Wait. Huh?

Duke! Duke! Duke! Duke!

Why would a simple fishmonger have a money clip like that?

I don't know,

but we're gonna find out.

Oh, it looks like the McDuck Enterprises fishing boat is back.

Welcome home.

Best fishing boat on the sea.

You mean second best.

Because we're obviously the best fishing boat on the sea.

Aw, you're sweet.

Sure, we have a scrappy, working-class charm, but...

But nothing. You guys are great.

We have to be the best.

Nothing wrong with coming in second.

You know I heard that first is the worst

and second is the best.

I don't know why, but I hate that boat.

Come on, Duke.

Sea shanties don't sing themselves!

Coming.

See? Not a scheme in sight.

Glomgold actually has amnesia and is now

obviously just a simple fishmonger.

That's what you said when he was a "humble delivery man"

and an "unassuming pastry chef."

Give it time. He'll slip up.

Hmm.

Howdy, fellas! Come jump out of the water

and hang out with me!

Duke, what are you doing?

Hey fellas!

And ladies!

Now I'll catch twice as many fish!

Huh. I don't know what this proves.

Boat meeting!

Whoa. Duke, you okay?

Ugh. You look like you didn't sleep much.

Who needs sleep when you've devised the perfect scheme?

Behold! My ingenious plan

to catch more fish than the McDuck boat!

I don't get the joke.

We start here, with a simple shrimp cook-off.

Or so it seems.

I knew it! Someone's Glomgold is showing.

He's clearly struggling with repressed memories.

We gotta help him.

That's exactly what he wants us to do, and then surprise,

we're trapped inside a volcano full of shark bombs.

Glomgold might do that, but not our Duke.

And that's how we strap the bombs to the sharks. Now...

After getting our engineering degrees from a local community college,

we program the previously brainwashed robotic fish from step 17A

to surround McDuck's boat and insult them.

While their egos are shattered, we search for what I assume

is a giant plug on the floor of the bay,

drain the bay, then collect all the fish for ourselves!

Hey Duke, this is some real nice cardboard art,

but if we overfish, there won't be any left for the community.

Because we'll have all the fish!

But it's like you always say, "Sharing is caring."

That does sound like me. Or does it?

Besides, storm's a-brewin'.

No one should be fishing anyway.

That's why the fish will never see it coming!

Uh, just kidding?

Ah, what a joker, this Duke.

Duke of the jokes is more like it, huh?

This isn't over, boat.

He said he was just kidding.

He doesn't remember being Glomgold.

Every con says that when they're busted. I say it all the time!

Ugh, what are you up to, Glomgold?

- There's only one way to find out! - Oh, don't say it.

To research!

Okay, here's all the information we have.

If only there was a visual way to organize it all.

You built a board, I'm guessing?

I built a board! We've got Duke,

Glomgold, the money clip,

- and a whole lot of question marks. - That's it?

I couldn't find any record of Duke Baloney anywhere.