The Bridge to Nowhere

* Better watch your back

* Three rivers is murky

* Run up the jibs get touched in a hurry

* Lucky if you live to see 20 or 30

* With no holes in your body or your throwback jersey

* These hos ain't dirty

* Homeys do your dirty

* My city is green

* Everybody stays thirsty

* I'll let you know that my city ain't safe

* I got friends still living with holes in they face

* Wheelchair homeys can't move below the waist

* Don't be misled about the PGH

* The haters in the water and it's all about waste

* When the Jake bangs a cutty it's a open-shut case

* Everybody's broke in the ghetto

* We cut throats

* Steel City triggers we ain't easy to approach

* Folks in my city keep toasting the coat

* Beefs escalate you know for coke and the dope

* Still city killers everybody's below

* From the Village to the North Side

* Guns we tote

Since kindergarten, I had this brotherly connection

with my 4 closest friends.

- What's up, guys? - What's going on?

- 5 bucks a head. - There's my main man, Kevin.

- 5 bucks? - What's up with that?

We got our own shit, bro.

Yeah, man, well, you know, we got 3 kegs and a DJ to pay for, so it's 5 bucks.

Oh, man, that's whack.

I'm gonna be right back, okay?

Yeah, well, whack or not, it's 5 fucking bucks.

What are you gonna do, man?

Hey, spot me 5?

Yeah, man.

There you go.

All right.

- Go have some fun, huh? - Have a good time, guys.

There's crazy Chris.

Cool tat.

Can I see the rest of it?

Okay, switch.

There's smooth Darick.

- Dude, this is your mom's house. - You can do whatever you want.

You know what?

I don't know what to tell you.

Everybody paid 5 bucks.

- Steady Eddie. - Oh, man, that's whack.

Now I owe Porter 5 bucks.

Look, man, you want to buy an Island?

Yo, yo, yo, homes.

Give me a shot on that.

- Back up, man, back up. - My bad, my bad, my bad.

We're cool.

And then there was me.

I was the catalyst of the group.

We had one common theme.

It was the basis for numerous conflicts within each of our lives and,

I suppose, stunted our growth

from being the responsible people others expected us to be.

It was money.

It wasn't always parties, though.

During football season we took bets from our friends

on the college games.

You in on that? Look at him coming down.

He's at the 10.

He's at the 5.

Touchdown!

No!

Yes!

It was all small-time,

but your standard bookmaking operation, nonetheless.

The only problem was,

some of our money-making ideas cost more to put on than they brought in.

Who did that?

Oh, come-- all right, hang on a second.

All it would take is one moderate disaster to wipe out

a week's worth of hard work and profits.

So some jagoff stole the keg pump.

We're gonna lose a $100 deposit on that.

Perfect. Already down this week.

That's good.

- Good, all right. - Yeah.

What are you doing with your life, huh?

There's a lot of people willing to bend over backwards to help you.

Did your mom catch you in her underwear drawer again?

I was trying to look pretty for you, buddy.

I don't know who looks better in those things, you or her.

Me for sure.

I've been doing that Buns of Steel your mother taught me.

Tell your mom you're gonna be late tonight?

Why do you think she's screaming at me all the fucking time?

"Aiee!"

Yo, boys, I'm getting laid tonight like wall-to-wall carpet.

You say that every time we go out. Does that shit ever happen?

I'm trying to psych myself up, all right?

You can do all the positive thinking you want.

No one's going home with you

till you pop that fucking zit on the side of your face.

Hey, hey.

Leave it.

Damn it.

Why you got to give him shit like that? 'Cause he's good-looking.

He's better looking than you are. - Nobody's better looking than me.

- Marc Anthony, that's a good-looking guy. - Whoa, I would switch teams for him.

Hey.

How you doing?

What?

Fuck you.

Prick.

- Hey, what are you doing? - I came out for a smoke.

- It's freezing out here. - Yo, yo, yo, check it out.

Check it out.

- Are those hookers? - No, you jagoff.

They're Girl Scouts.

Hey, do me a favor.

Go over there and get me a box of Thin Mints.

Look at those tits.

I'm gonna break them off a 10 spot, see if I can get a piece.

Yeah, yeah, do it, do it.

All right, I'll see you in a minute.

- What's up? - Hey, guys.

What's going on?

Where you girls from? I haven't seen you around before.

Oh, well, we just moved into this joint.

My name's Sienna.

- And this is my girl Jasper. - Yeah, well, who you hiding from?

'Cause nobody comes on North Side unless they have to.

So you guys want to do something?

I'm a really fun date.

Tell me something.

What can I get for $10?

How about a kick in the dick?

That ain't exactly what I had in mind, sweetheart.

You know what?

I'd like to apologize for my friend.

Just to let you know, if I had the money,

I'd spend it in a second.

Aw, that's sweet.

Hey, I don't know if you guys are busy or not.

But, you know, can I buy you guys both a drink?

I mean, come on.

It's, you know, it's our bar.

We're always in there.

It's cold outside.

10 minutes, come on.

- All right. - Yeah?

All right, come on.

What do you guys like to drink?

Whiskey.

All right, Jasper. This is Eddie.

- Hi, nice to meet you. - This is Sienna.

- Hi. - Hi, nice to meet you.

Look at that punk. He's such a punk.

He doesn't even like playing darts.

Don't get bent just 'cause you ain't got no game.

I got game.

Hey, guys.

- What have you got, another pitcher? - Oh, this one's done.

I'll go get another.

Excuse me.

I want the good stuff, huh?

Here you go.

Yo, when you gonna get rid of that jacket, Bob?

You ain't Terry Bradshaw.

No, the glory days are over.

- At least I had glory days. - Ooh.

Yo, he just beat me to the punch. Bitch of it is; I saw them first.

Yo, yo, what did you talk about?

- What you talk about? - Not a whole lot.

Well, the pigtail's kind of tough.

Someone probably nailed her in the ass when she was 12

and fucked up her head.

Like what happened to Eddie on that camping trip?

Whatever, moron.

Hey, Bobby, you got that pitcher coming? Oh, man, I got to go.

- Kimberly's due back. - Hurry back.

We're gonna play hide the kielbasa with Eddie later.

Bring your sleeping bag.

- What's up, player? - Got another smoke?

Uh, yeah, man.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sure appreciate it, my man.

I forgot to go to the store and buy a pack before it close.

You know?

I like them shoes too.

They clean.

Yeah.

I like 'em.

And right there I got the idea.

Shit, yeah, here he goes again.

Hold up, y'all.

I've been giving this a lot of thought.

Those hookers last night--

seriously.

Here are girls who live in a shitty-ass apartment

and smoke crack all day, right?

That is a business opportunity waiting to happen, y'all.