The Ren & Stimpy Show

Hoek, cadoogan !

Front !

Aye-aye !

Sir !

Good morning, boys.

Let me hear that bellhop oath.

Uh-1 and uh-2:

neither crusty sheets nor stinky guests,

nor wakeup calls that disturb our rest,

nor measly tip nor baggage pounds

will keep us from our appointed rounds.

And ?

We always respect the privacy of our guests.

very good, boys. Now to the matter at hand.

There have been sightings of reporters lurking about,

which leads me to a very important story point.

Mr. Noggin, in the penthouse, is a very private man,

and is not to be photographed or disturbed in any way.

Got that, stupids ?

Ah, Mrs. Buttloaves.

How nice to see you again !

Show her to her room, boys.

I'll get the bag. You get the hag.

Hey, Stimpy, hurry up.

My finger's starting to blister.

I've got a little something for you, boys.

It's in here somewhere.

Thanks, Mrs. Buttloaves.

My breath was beginning to offend.

Boys, take this mysterious package to Mr. Noggin.

And I want you to avoid all temptation

to open this very strange, eerie, awe-inspiring package.

What do you know about this guy, anyway ?

He was the genius who saved the rainforests,

found cures for all diseases,

and built this hotel

on sacred Indian burial grounds.

No one's seen him for years.

Sounds like a loser.

Room soy-vice !

Whaddya want ?

Here's your hat--

I mean, your mysterious package.

Hey, here's your tip.

Now get lost !

Fortune smiles upon us !

Hey, buddy-- I'll give you 5 bucks for a photograph

of the mysterious man in the penthouse suite.

Duh...

okay, okay. A million dollars.

But that's as high as I go.

What do you say ?

No !

I have taken the bellhop oath.

I must protect the pre-versity of my guests.

Take this, Satan's minion !

excuse me. Oil me, big boy.

Hoek !

Garbage detail, Hoek.

Taking in some sun, eh ?

Hey, buddy, get me a photo of the rich guy,

and I'll give you 5 bucks !

Well, I suppose I could go as high as, oh...

5 bucks ?

Here you go, Mr. Recluse, sir.

Stimpy, there's a guy who'll give me 5 bucks

for a picture of the rich weirdo !

Have you been talking

to strange garbage cans again ?

How would you like your privacy invaded ?

Ah, see you on the other side.

Stop, Ren !

I will not let him disgrace himself.

Ai !

Huh ?

He's just a head.

Hey, hey--

hey, stop !

Don't go down the evil path.

Out of the way, bat boy !

I've got 5 bucks that's got his head on it !

You don't understand. No one understands.

And so I became a recluse,

forever hidden, and lonely.

Spare the world my grotesque-ness !

Oh, lord !

I put my pants on one leg at a time, too !

Oh, have you no heart ?

You're right. I will mend my evil ways.

Starting tomorrow !

Oh, no, you're not !

You can't stop-- me.

Say cheese !

There's nowhere to-- run.

Show us your pearly whites.

Smile for the birdie.

Aah !

Give it up. It's futile !

No, wait !

Stimpy. Don't do it !

Aah !

Stim-pee !

Aah !

Aah !

Oh, little mosquito,

it's time for my spleen flensing !

Aah !

Eh heh, smile for the camera.

Well, boy, I met the girl of my dreams,

all 'cause of your insatiable greed and inhumanity.

Here's a million bucks for you !

There go some satisfied customers.

Excellent work...

bellboy !

There, there, Ren.

I always cry at weddings, too.

Hey, Stimpy, hurry up with those shoes.

I'm gonna be late for my meeting.

Shoes !

Here you go, Ren.

I polished 'em for you.

Now go get my hat.

Hat !

Thank you.

Wow, Ren. You look so regal !

Wait here. I'll get the last item.

Here it is, Ren.

Your official gavel,

for the benevolent order of dog bone eaters !

That's it, then, I'm off to my dog lodge meeting.

Hey, hey, Ren,

please, can I go with you to your dog lodge meeting ?

Please, can I, can I, huh ?

I want to do secret dog things with you !

Oh, please, Ren !

Please, please, please, please please, pleeease !

No !

You've been asking me that same question

every week for 53 years.

They don't allow cats.

You'd never make it past the security at the door.

I can pretend to be a dog.

I know how to be dog-like.

I'll fool 'em.

Oh, please, let me go.

Oh, please.

Oh, all right.

Go on, make a fool out of yourself.

Yaah !

But don't say I didn't warn you.