Transparent

So are you and Syd really doing it?

Yes, we are.

And you actually like it?

Yes.

Yeah, so what, you just... you just changed?

I don't know. I just... crossed a line

that I guess I always had there for some reason.

I don't know why.

Also, I've realized I just...

I can't have real emotional intimacy

with somebody who hasn't suffered under patriarchy.

- - No, I'm serious.

Oh, God.

All these years it's just been...

You're a lesbian

because I don't give two fucks about patriarchy.

Do you think it matters

who you think about when you come?

Like, if you think about men, you're straight,

and if you think about women, you're gay.

No.

No?

Mm-mm.

I think people think about all kinds of things.

You know who's been clogging up my mindscape lately?

Who?

Mr. Irons and his paddle.

Oh, God. You fuck Mr. Irons in your fantasy?

No, no. He's just there.

He's watching me, telling me what to do.

I'm really sorry about that.

I know, right?

Wait. Your family is driving all the way here

just to sign the high school papers?

Uh, they don't really trust the U.S. Postal Service.

What about FedEx?

Okay, Colton,

what... what... what's going on?

Okay, so they were cool with me coming out here

for a couple of weeks, right,

to meet Rita and to meet you,

but, you know, they, like we talked about,

you know, I, you know,

kind of decided that I want to stay for longer,

and when I was talking to them

on the phone the other day, maybe, I don't know,

I guess they heard something in my voice,

but, you know, they... now they want to meet both of you,

you know, and... and I'm really sorry

because I know I should have told you earlier,

and I have that. That's my bad...

- Okay. - But, you know, it's...

- Okay. It's good. - This all happened so fast.

Everything's going to be fine, so you can chill.

Raquel: Okay, so, uh...

who... who are we meeting, Mom and Dad?

Well, yeah, Pappy,

but I guess you can call him Pastor Gene

- or just Gene, you know. - Okay.

And I call Mama "Mama,"

but you can call her Blossie,

- Okay. - And, you know,

my sister Becky and my brother Cliff

are also going to be here.

Okay. All right. Okay.

Relax. Relax.

And if it's okay with you guys,

Pappy might need to hook up the RV to your septic.

Super.

So I wanted to just say up front

that the fact that you won these sessions in an auction

is a little bit of a problem.

What?

I mean, I don't... Sorry.

Let me try again.

So I think there's something in all of us,

and this is what I said in my book,

um, that's a spark,

and the spark inside of us is like a boom!

And the boom cries out for us

and starts off "I need help. I need help.

"I need to make a change.

"I need to make a change.

I need to make a change,"

until it gets real big.

And for you, for all intensive purposes,

your spark was just handed to you

at a school gala, so you didn't choose it.

That's not my fault.

It's not "intensive purposes."

Did you say "intensive purposes"?

It's "Intents and purposes."

- That's not true. - I...

Well, that you said it or...

Are you pretty controlling?

People say you're pretty controlling?

No, I'm not controlling.

I mean, I'm just honest,

but... I mean, I maybe was a little controlling,

but I'm not. I mean, I used to be.

I used to have, you know, the perfect house

and the perfect husband

and these little kids' aluminum Bento boxes,

you know, like, for lunches.

And, I mean, I liked to compartmentalize,

but I don't anymore,

and I'm very... I'm out there.

I'm living... I mean, it's a mess.

Everything's blowing up everywhere.

You know what it sounds like to me

is a messy life is what we call clutter.

And it sounds like, to me, Sadie,

that there's just so much clutter.

Sarah, but that's okay.

But I just want to say something.

I don't really get the thing

back to the whole, like, winning the thing.

You... You donated them.

Now, that sounds hostile to me,

so I feel like you are putting up a... a wall

made of bricks and cement and all kinds of things

so you can't get through to me and I can't get through to you.

And by the end of our sessions together,

we're going to knock down that wall,

and we're going to see each other,

and you're going to feel better.

Oh, my goddess, oh, my goddess, oh, my goddess.

- Look, look, look, look. - And you've never seen this?

No, no. I just sent all my old photographs

to this kookaburra artist, and she sent me back these.

- Oh, my God. -

They regendered the whole photo.

Oh, my God, is this Baby Davina?

Look at that.

- Look at that face. - Oh, so cute.

Look at her.

She's pretty.

They changed my old striped shirt

into a pinafore.

- Look at me. - Look at my hair.

Look at this.

Let me see your teeth.

They're not the same anymore.

What's wrong with you?

What are these?

Other pictures, too.

Is that you?

That's me.

I'm happier now than I was back then.

- I'm going to do this. - Oh, my God.

- Can I take one of these? - Yeah.

Hello. Hi.

Hi.

Uh, I'm sorry if this is weird,

but I think you should be wearing this

when his parents get here.

What is that?

It's just so that, you know,

we present the right optics in this situazione.

Optics?

Yeah. Um, you know, because look,

hey, this thing is not worthy of you,

but it is, uh, a family heirloom,

so I'm ye old Jew on my Dad's side...

That's the wrong finger.

Okay, and... sorry.

I'm sorry. Is this your proposal to me?

No. No, no.

No, no. Hell, no.

Okay.

Um, this is, um, not...

it's just a thing.

It's a thing that goes on the finger

while the people are here.

I'm not putting it on my finger.

- No? - Mm-mm.

Okay. Listen.

You should know, uh,

that I already talked to the ring guy.

We're mid-design on the real dealio,

and I just... Look, this is just a temporary thing

because these are conservative people.

Why would you even care

what they possibly think of us?

We are good people. You know what I'm s...

Like, now we're going to walk in like...

feeling like we're liars?

They're fucking... We are good people.

We're not... We haven't done anything wrong.

He's... He is lucky that he gets to stay here with us.

Okay, I think you mean

that we're lucky to have him.

You ask me to put that on...

Colton: Hey, they're here!

Please, please, please, please, please.

Oh, my God. Just...

Back, back, back, back.

Ho!

- Colton! - Hey!

Josh: Oh, my God.