Stage Door

Do you have to do that?

Pipe down.

Get that customer, Hattie.

If that's for me, I'm in.

Hello?

Is it for me?

I don't know. Miss Judy?

It's yours, Judy.

Huh? Oh.

Hello. Hello, hags.

Look what mother sent me from Louisiana.

What are they?

Pecans.

Pecans? Hmm. Let's open one.

Maybe there's a check in it.

Judy: Well, I had a date,

but I guess I can get out of it.

Sure, I'll get a girl.

Who? Where is she?

Oh. Not you.

Come on, take them off.

Are you speaking to me?

You heard what I said.

Take off those stockings or I will

and take a little of your hide along with them. What do you mean?

Come on, get 'em off. But they're my stockings.

They are not. If you think

I'm going to give up my lunch

to buy you stockings, you're crazy.

Well, you owe me a pair anyway.

Oh, Mrs. Orcutt, Linda's doing a striptease!

You can get a bigger crowd on the street.

Why don't you split them? A stocking apiece.

From now on, you wear your own stockings or go barelegged.

The places you go,

it doesn't make any difference anyhow.

What's the trouble?

Are you running a theatrical boardinghouse

girls! Or a gymnasium?

What's going on here?

She accused me of stealing my own stockings.

She's swiped her last pair of stockings from me.

How do you expect me to run a respectable house...

you're doing the best you can with the people you've got.

I won't be insulted by this little guttersnipe any longer!

I'll guttersnipe you!

I will not have anything like that

going on in my house!

I wish you girls would find some way

to settle your differences.

I'll slap her ears

flat against the back of her head.

I'd like to see you try.

Well, come on down here.

I wouldn't room with her any longer if you paid me.

Good! That's the best news I've had

in the past year.

I'm moving in with Madeline right away.

It shouldn't take you very long.

Everything you own is on your back.

She's down, she's up, she's down.

When this barroom brawl is over...

when I get back in my room,

you're the only thing I want to find missing.

Hello! A riot? Heavens, no!

At the footlights club?

Nothing exciting ever happens here.

8:00? You betcha. Good-bye.

I knew it. I knew it.

Do you want a date?

Huh?

I said, do you want a date?

With some more of those lumbermen?

Am I supposed to apologize

for being born in Seattle?

Well, the last couple we went stepping with

were made of lumber, especially their feet.

All right. You can stay here

and gorge yourself on lamb stew again.

Hey, pat, want a date?

Wait a minute. Is it for dinner?

Yes.

Why didn't you say so before you spoke?

That lamb stew

has got me counting sheep at night.

You know, you're not so particular

about my friends when it's for dinner.

Well, they can't step on you

when you're sitting down.

And you might try

being just a little less insulting this time.

Me, insulting to a lumberman?

Why, the very idea is preposterous!

Do we dress?

I suppose so. We usually do.

Well, I'll be there, my pet.

You know me...

the lumberman's delight. Ahem.

Mr. Powell's car is waiting for miss Shaw.

I'll tell her.

Thank you.

Is that for Linda? Mr. Powell's car.

Oh, wait a minute. I'll be the carrier pigeon.

Oh, Linda! Mr. Powell's car is here!

Mr. Powell isn't here! Just his car!

Peaceful little haven we have here.

Could anybody use

a couple of tired tyrolean peasants?

I'll take a couple on toast.

I'll take mine dry.

How was the matinee?

Very intimate. We had 100 people on the stage

and 50 in the audience.

Well, you had 'em outnumbered.

The whole thing makes me sick.

What's gerta sick about?

5 weeks' rehearsal and 2 weeks' pay.

What's the matter, is the show closing?

Like a tired clam.

That's a shame.

Aw, that's too bad.

Well, let's all go on relief and get it over with.

What would that be?

Mice.

Woman: How do you get in here?

You might blast!

What?

We don't want any fish!

Go around to the other door!

Can't you read?

Did you hear that? Another show folding.

Yes, and if they keep on closing,

we can move right into the storehouse

with the scenery.

You said it.

Hattie, the mice are back.

Don't go away, taxi.

How many doors are there to this place?

Well, there's the trapdoor, the humidor, and the cuspidor.

How many doors would you like?

I only asked a civil question.

Did you wish to see Mrs. Orcutt?

I want to see whoever I have to see

about accommodations.

Which keeper's on duty today, Hattie?

Evidently, you're a very amusing person.

Well, if you'll sit over there,

I'll get Mrs. Orcutt. She's in the kitchen.

Thank you. Thanks.

If you young ladies will pardon me,

I shall take the wolfhounds

for a stroll through the park.

Oh, need I remind you

that Mr. Powell's car awaits without?

Maybe if you spoke a little louder next time,

everyone in the house could hear you.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I forget that you're old and deaf.

If you were a little more considerate of your elders,

maybe Mr. Powell would send his car for you someday.

I can hardly wait.

Of course, he would probably take one look at you

and send you right back again,

but then you have to expect that. Oh, is that so?

Do you know, I think I could fix you up with Mr. Powell's chauffeur.

The chauffeur has a very nice car, too.

Yes, but I understand Mr. Powell's chauffeur

doesn't go as far in his car as Mr. Powell does.

Even a chauffeur has to have an incentive.

Well, you should know.

I hope you enjoy your lamb stew again tonight.

I'll be thinking of you

while I'm dining on pheasant bordelaise.

Bordelaise, no less! Ooh, girls, listen!

Or maybe it's casserole. I'm not quite certain.

Be sure not to eat the bones

and give yourself away.

Did you wish to see me?

This is a theatrical boardinghouse, isn't it?

It's considered one of the finest boardinghouses.

I was somewhat in doubt for a moment.

Are you the person I see about accommodations?

Accommodations? Oh, yes, indeed!

I hope you'll pardon my appearance.

We've had a little trouble in the kitchen.

I'll just try and see what's available.

Now, let's see.

Ann and Mary, they room together.

I'd like a room with a private bath.

Ha ha!

Is there anything strange in that request?

Oh, you mustn't mind the girls.

They're just full of fun.

We're like one great big family.

I may not be able to give you just what you want,

but I can put you in a room

with a very charming girl, temporarily.

That is, until we get a vacancy.

Mm-hmm. How expensive are your rooms?

They're $13 if you share a room with a girl, in advance.