Feyzo, The Polite One (Kibar Feyzo)

I'm talking to you, son.

Me, Your Honor?

My name is Feyzo. Called "Polite Feyzo" at my village.

This life ruined us.

But we know its reason.

Everything is because of poverty, Your Honor.

We learnt it too late.

Back at the village...

...if we find even the littlest morsel to eat, we get horny.

We start looking for women.

But no one can save up for the dowry to get a wife.

I did my military service as a gendarme at the Thrace border, Your Honor.

- Yo, Bilo! - Feyzo!

I see you were corporal!

I wanted to beef up our village's reputation.

Where did you serve?

Thrace border. You?

Iranian border. Thank God it's over.

Thank God it's over.

- Where is Maho Agha? - Upstairs.

Hey, wait! Let me inform him.

We'd like to thank the ANTAKYA folk dancing team for their help.

Maho Agha!

Is that you?

Your servant Feyzo is finally discharged, Maho Agha!

Let me kiss your hand agha!

Polite Feyzo! Come here!

We really felt your absence this year!

A little present, agha!

What's this?

It's called a "fan", agha!

Like this.

Gimme.

You'll make me polite too, you rascal.

Why are you squirming there like a constipated donkey?

I wanna marry, agha!

With whom?

I'm in love, agha!

Go to your doom then!

Thanks, agha!

You're still on my ass?

Bilo!

For you, agha.

What's that?

Iranian tea, agha.

Leave it there.

Agha, I...

You're breathing out of your ass, what's it?

I want your permission to marry, agha.

They don't give them free. Do you have the dowry?

I was gendarme at the border, agha.

Whom do you want?

Gülo, daughter of Hacı Hüso.

Feyzo!

Mom!

Mom.. Gülo.. Bilo..

I'm gone!

Feyzo!

Dear me...

Bilo, where to?

Something stinks here!

Isn't this Feyzo?

Yeah. Seems he deserted!

Welcome Feyzo!

Thanks.

Come, have a tea.

I will!

Welcome Bilo!

Come, rest.

I will!

Where are they running to?

Mother Sekine is running too!

Where to, Mother Sekine?

To shit!

Bilo will shoot Feyzo. Then she will kill Bilo!

Then I'll kill you too, you evil-tongued bastard!

He must've gone to Hüso's shop!

Gülo!

Feyzo!

You rascal!

What's your rush, Mother Sekine?

These two scoundrels got horny in the military!

Who knows what they're up to!

#A military march#

Gülo!

No, her mother...

Let me kiss, ma.

Stop, my child!

Where is Gülo?

To laundry, near the river.

Thanks, ma.

I'll get these later.

- River? - Yes.

Welcome, Bilo!

Where's your father?

Corporal, huh?

Where's your father?

Discharged, huh?

Yep. Where's your father?

What's it to you!

I'll ask for your sister's hand, Zülfo!

Got the money?

Yep.

Run along then!

He's going to Hasaptar!

Hasaptar!

Run, please!

If he sells Gülo, he'll then let me marry!

I'm leaving these.

We got the car ready, We risk getting sued,

If we had those girls, We wouldn't mind 1500.

Where is here, where is here, Here is the river of brides,

We are in heat too but, Our fathers will kill us!

Hazel...

15,000.

Cano...

17,500.

Gülo!

Feyzo?

You'll drown Feyzo!

I saved up Gülo!

Father!

Go, tell him!

I'm asking...

Fuck off!!

I ask for Gülo's hand...

I was first!

Money talks!

Whoa you boors!

Stop tussling!

I've not given Gülo to anyone.

You're making up things among yourselves.

Send your elders, then we'll talk.

Stop, Feyzo!

Ma!

To hell your ma!

You rascal!

I'll never buy that pig's daughter for you!

Good!

I won't!

That's my ear, ma!

To hell your ear!

I'll buy an ox with the money!

Look at Gülo, ma!

Stop it!

Like I want your buttwipe son.

You witch!

Ox. It's all she says.

With that ox, we'll plow Maho Agha's land.

And of the harvest, our share is 1, while his is 3.

But if we buy Gülo, she's all ours!

You can plow her all your life.

Drought, flood don't matter.

Bears fruit every 9 months.

Meaning, we own both the land and the harvest.

But tell it to my mother.

It's all about ox.

You know the tale of Layla and Majnun, Your Honor?

I wanted to be a Majnun.

So that my mother takes pity on me and buys me Gülo.

That day we were supposed to buy the ox with my mother.

Don't hide Feyzo.

I'll buy that ox!

Gülo? My love?

Don't mind my stone-hearted mother!

I'll kidnap you!

Now I'll crush your head with this rock, you whore Gülo!

Seducing my son, huh!

I love your eyes my Gülo!

Chewing gum, Gülo?

Ooh, I can't hold myself.

I'll kiss that mouth!

I'll kill even the male flies around you!

He lost it!

What'll I do!

My son lost it!

Blind love!

The only solution is to take him to Cripple Hodja!

He'll fix him with prayers.

Hodja! My mom is coming to you.

What's her problem?

Only you can save me.

Why'd you do that for!

Shut up in ablution! It's sin, you ass!

She's coming for a cure for me. I'm in blind love!

You don't look like it.

I'll pay 100.

Just convince my mother to buy Gülo for me.

I want 200. And a hen.

A fat hen.

Where'd I find it!!

Let's agree on 150.

And a chicken, then.

Deal.

Dear me...

Hen, chicken, 200....

This Feyzo is up to something.

Pray hard Hodja. Cool him off that Gülo!

Otherwise our household will be in tatters!

Stop puffing to my face Gülo! It makes me feel funny!