A Single Man

Friday, 30 November, 1962

Waking up begins with saying ''am'' and ''now''.

Jennifer, I'm not gonna tell you again.

For the past eight months waking up has actually hurt.

The cold realization that I'm still here slowly sets in.

I was never teribly fond of waking up.

I was never one to jump out of bed and greet the day with a smile like Jim was.

I used to want to punch him sometimes in the morning he was so happy.

I always used to tell him that only fools greet the day with a smile...

...that only fools possibly escape the simple truth.

That now isn't simply now.

It's a cold reminder. One day later than yesterday.

One year later than last year.

And that sooner or later it will come.

He used to laugh at me and then give me kiss on the cheek.

It takes time in the morning for me to become George.

The time to adjust to what is expected of George and how he is to behave.

By the time I have dressed and put the final layer of polish...

...on the now slightly stiff but quite perfect George...

...I know fully what part I'm supposed to play

Looking in the mirror staring back at me isn't so much as a face...

...as the expression of a predicament.

Just get through the goddamn day.

A bit melodramatic, I guess.

But then again...

...my heart has been broken.

I feel as if I am sinking, drowning...

...can't breathe.

Aren't you going to say something? Are you kidding? It's spectacular.

What are you doing?

Just stop it. Stop it.

I don't think that you're quite ready for life in a glass house.

Drapes, old man.

You're the one who is always saying that we are invisible.

That's not exactly what I meant.

For the first time in my life I can't see my future.

Every day goes by in a haze.

But today I have decided will be different.

Finally. You know it's been raining here all day.

I've been trapped in this house waiting for you to call.

I'm sorry, I must have the wrong number. I'm calling for Mr. George Falconer.

I'm sorry, I was expecting someone else. Yes sir, you have indeed called the...

...correct number. How may I help you? - This is Harold Ackerley.

I'm Jim's cousin.

Of course. Yes, good evening Mr. Ackerley.

I'm afraid I'm calling with some bad news.

There has been a car accident.

An accident?

There has been a lot of snow here lately and the roads have been icy.

On his way into town, Jim lost control of his car.

It was instantaneous apparently.

It happened late yesterday, but his parents didn’t want to call you.

I see.

In fact, they don't that I'm calling you now.

But I thought that you should know.

Thank you.

I know this must be quite a shock. It was for all of us.

Yes, indeed.

- Will there be a service? - The day after tomorrow.

Well, I suppose I should get off the phone...

...and book a plane flight.

The service is just for family.

For family, of course.

Well, thank you for calling.

- Mr. Ackerley? - Yes?

- May I ask what happened to the dogs? - Dogs?

There was a dog with him but he died. Was there another one?

Yes, there was a small female.

I don't know, I'm sorry.

I haven't heard anyone mentioning another dog.

- Well, thank you for calling Mr. Ackerley. - Goodbye, Mr. Falconer.

Hello, Charley.

How did you know it was me?

Charlotte, nobody else calls me before eight in the morning.

I didn't call too early, did I? You sound grumpy.

No, I have a headache.

Listen, I was going to call you actually. Is too late to change my mind about tonight.

No, of course not. I haven't seen you all week.

- I'm dying for a dose of you. - I know, I'm sorry.

So great, I'll see you tonight.

I have to run. I'm late for the work.

I'll call you later from school.

Alright, I see you then.

- Bye, kiddo. - Bye, old man.

Good morning, Mr. George.

Sir, you don't look so good today.

Good morning, Alva. No, I didn't sleep very well.

You forgot to take the bread out of the freezer this morning.

It stays fresh that way.

It was a little too fresh this morning.

There are some papers laid out on my desk...

...which need to stay there. Please don't move them.

- I'm afraid my pen leaked all over the bed. - It's okay, sir.

- Alva? - Yes, sir?

Thank you, you're a wonderful.

This government, as promised, has maintained the closest surveillance...

...of the Soviet military buildup on the Island of Cuba.

Within the past week unmistakable evidence...

...has established the fact...

- Professor Falconer? - Yes?

There was a student here this morning asking for your address.

My address?

- Did you give it to him? - Yes, sir.

I did.

I hope that's okay.

I realize that I probably shouldn't have but he was very nice.

Before I knew it he...

Your hair looks great up like that. I really fits suits you.

You always look so beautiful...

...really fresh...

You have such a lovely smile.

- Arpège? - Sir?

Really beautiful.

...that a series of offensive missile sites...

- Good morning, Don. - Good morning, George.

Good morning, George.

Good morning, Grant.

You look awful. What have you been doing?

Look around you, Grant.

Most of these students aspire to nothing more than corporate job...

...and a desire to raise coke-drinking, TV-watching children...

...who as soon as they can speak start chanting TV jingles...

...and smashing things with hammers. - You're really scaring me today, George.

Don't tell me. You have easy time with these students.

I found them staring at me in a kind of bovine stupor...

...as if I were lecturing in a foreign language.

Remind me why we shouldn't all just be annihilated.

You seem to think this is all a joke.

We're living in a world where nuclear war is a real threat.

I don't understand how that doesn't concern you.

You're serious, aren't you?

Yes, I'm serious.

George did you even read the article I gave you on bomb shelters?

Our is almost done. We had 3 contractors work on it...

...so none of them know what we've got.

I'm having the outside of it landscaped so no one will that it's there.

Really?

If word gets out that you've got a better shelter...

...then everyone will try to get in when something happens.

So?

There will be no time for sentiment when the Russians fire a missile at us.

If it's going to be a world with no time for sentiment Grant...

...the it's not a world that I want to live in.

After Many a Summer Dies the Swan.

I think you've all...

...read the Huxley novel I assigned more than three weeks ago?

How does the title relate to our story?

- Yes, Mr. Mong. - It doesn't.

It's about a rich guy who's too afraid that he's too old for this girl...

...and thinks that a young guy...

Russ.

Russ?

Yes, Mr. Hirsch.

Sir, on page 79, Mr. Propter says that...

...the stupidest text in the Bible is “they hated me without a cause.”

Does that mean the Nazis were right to hate the Jews?

- Is Huxley an anti-Semite? - No.

No, Mr. Huxley is not an anti-Semite.

Of course, the Nazis were wrong to hate the Jews.

But their hating the Jews was not without a cause.

It's just that the cause wasn't real.

The cause was imagined.

The cause was fear.

Let's leave the Jews out o this just for a moment.

Let's think of another minority. One that...

One that can go unnoticed if it needs to.

There are all sorts of minorities, blondes for example...

...or people with freckles.

But a minority is only thought of as one...

...when it constitutes some kind of threat to the majority.

A real threat or an imagined one.

And therein lies the fear.

If the minority is somehow invisible...

...and the fear is much greater.

That fear is why the minority is persecuted.

So, you see there always is a cause.

The cause is fear.

Minorities are just people.

People like us.

I can see that I've lost you a bit.

So tell you what? We're gonna forget about Mr. Huxley today...

...and we're gonna talk about fear.

Fear, after all, is our real enemy.

Fear is taking over our world.

Fear is being used as a tool of manipulation in our society.

It's how politicians peddle policy.

It's how Madison Avenue sells us things that we don't need.

Think about it.

Fear of being attacked.

Fear of that there are communists lurking around every corner.

Fear of that some little Caribbean country...

...that doesn't believe in our way of life poses a threat to us.

Fear that black culture may take over the world.

Fear of Elvis Presley's hips.

Actually, maybe that one is a real fear.

Fear that our bad breath might ruin our friendships.

Fear of growing old and being alone.

The of that we're useless and that no one cares what we have to say.

Have a good weekend.

Sir! May I talk to you for a minute?