Up in Smoke

Whoa!

Put me down!

Say, uh, Daisy Lou,

would you like to hear a tune?

Eh, cousin...

Oh, Blackie!

You're wonderful!

Sweetheart, I'll talk to him.

Son, your mother and me would like for you

to cozy up to the Finkelstein boy.

He's a bright kid, and, uh...

he's going to military school, and--

remember, he was an Eagle Scout.

Arnold...

Will you shut up?

We're not going to have a family brawl!

...and a retard.

We've put up with a hell of a lot.

Can this wait?

Build your goddamn muscles, huh?

You know, you could build your muscles picking strawberries.

You know, bend and scoop...

like the Mexicans.

Shit, maybe I could get you a job

with United Fruit.

I got a buddy with United Fruit.

Get you started.

Start with strawberries,

you might work your way up to these goddamn bananas!

When, boy?

When...are you going to get your act together?

Gross!

Oh, good God Almighty me.

I think he's the Antichrist.

Anthony, I want to talk to you.

Now, listen!

Don't walk away from me when I'm talking to you!

You get a goddamn job before sundown,

or we're shipping you off to military school

with that goddamn Finkelstein shit kid!

Son of a bitch!

Up in smoke

That's where my money goes

In my lungs

Sometimes up my nose

When troubled times

Begin to bother me

I take a toke

And all my cares go up in smoke

Buenos dias, Pedro.

All my things in the lowrider

The lowrider is a little higher

Lowrider drives a little slower

Lowrider is a real goer

Hey

Lowrider knows every street, yeah

Lowrider is the one to meet, yeah

Lowrider don't use no gas, now

Lowrider don't drive too fast

Take a little trip

Take a little trip...

So fine

My baby's so doggone fine

I do it to her nearly all of the time

So fine

And I know she loves me so

Oooohhhh

Could this be magic?

Ooohhhhh, yeah

Magic

Yeah

La haaaaaa

Ah ha

Uh, you girls need a ride?

- No! - No!

You sure? I'm going that way.

No!

Later for you, little jailbaits.

Oh, what's that?

She's hitchhiking!

Watch out! Coming over!

Geronimo!

Hey! Double bubble!

Come on, baby! I'll give you a ride!

Yeah, bend over. I'll drive you home.

Hey, you ain't a chick!

Yeah, I know.

That's the only way I can get anybody to stop.

Hey, that's false advertising, man.

I know, but listen,

I slept in a ditch last night, man.

I almost froze my balls off.

I didn't think you had any.

Wow! Hey, I really like your car, man.

Oh, you do?

Wow! Did you do this yourself?

Yeah, I customized it myself.

Wow! Looks fantastic, man.

Yeah, I guess it does, man.

I'll give you a ride. Come on, let's go.

I gotta get my stuff.

Hurry up. I got a lot to do.

Shit.

Okay, let's go.

In just a minute, man.

I got a few more things I gotta get, okay?

I'll be right back.

Hurry up, man.

What are you going to do,

move in, man?

Into first gear...

Here we go! Hey, hey!

Second gear! Hey!

Third gear!

Here we goooo!

Ha ha ha!

Oh!

Hey, man, how far you going, man?

Right here would be fine, man.

You ain't scared of a little speed, are you, man?

Oh, you got some speed, man?

Huh? No, I don't got no speed, man.

You know what I do got, though, man?

I got a joint, man.

Oh, wow. All right.

Come on, light it up.

Let's get Chinese eyes, man.

What kind of joint is this, man?

It's a heavy-duty joint, man.

It looks like a toothpick, man.

No, it's not a toothpick, man.

It is a toothpick, man.

No, man, it's just...

It is a toothpick.

I must've got it in the other pocket, man.

Hold on. I got the bullshit right here, man.

Oh, that's my dick.

Yeah, there we go.

There you go, man.

Light that sucker up, man.

We'll go to the moon.

Jeez, I hope your dick's bigger than this, man.

Hey, man, you want to get out and walk?

Hey, you want to get high, man?

Does Howdy Doody got wooden balls, man?

I got a joint here I've been saving

for a special occasion.

Fire it up.

I hope the drums don't mess up

your upholstery, man.

I'm in a band, too, man.

I'm a lead singer, man.

That's hip, man.

We play everything from Santana to El Chicano, man.

Hey, I'm just a love machine

And I don't work for nobody but you

I'm just a love machine

And I don't work for nobody but you

Woman, my temperature rise

And then I go for her thighs

And then I say...

Is that a joint, man?

That there looks like a quarter pounder, man.

There's a plane.

Hey, be careful with that shit, man.

What, is it heavy stuff, man?

Will it blow me away?

You better put your seat belt on, man.

I'll tell you that much.

I been smoking since I was born, man.

I can smoke anything, man.

I smoke that Michoacan, man,

Acapulco Gold, man.

I even smoke that tied stick, you know?

Tied stick?

That stuff that's tied to a stick.

Oh, Thai stick.

That didn't even do nothing to me.

I could probably smoke this whole joint

and still walk away, man.

It wouldn't be no problem at all, man.

Toke. Toke it out, man.

Kind of grabs you by the boo-boo, don't it?

Hey, man...

What?

Oh!

Hey, what's in this shit, man?

Mostly Maui-wowie, man.

Yeah?

But it's got some Labrador in it.

What's Labrador?

It's dog shit.

What?

Yeah, my dog ate my stash, man.

Had it on the table,

and the little motherfucker ate it, man.

Yeah?

I had to follow him around with a little baggie

for three days before I got it back.

Really blew the dog's mind.