South Park

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HE'S GONNA BE HERE ANY MINUTE, IKE.

OH NO, POOPIE.

HE MIGHT NOT COME IF YOU'RE TOO CLOSE TO THE TOILET BOWL, IKE.

COME SIT BY ME.

IT'S GETTING LATE, BOYS,

WHY DON'T YOU COME ON UP TO BED.

JUST LET US STAY UP A LITTLE LONGER, MOM,

MR. HANKEY'S GOTTA SHOW UP, HE ALWAYS DOES.

ALL RIGHT, BOOBIE.

OH, AND BOYS, HAPPY CHANUKAH.

HAPPY CHANUKAH, MOM.

WEE, WEE.

GO AWAY !

STAN, GO GET THE OTHER GUYS

AND TELL THEM TO MEET ME AT THE BUS STOP IN 10 MINUTES.

OKAY, GOOD, YOU'RE ALL HERE.

WHAT'S THIS ALL ABOUT, KYLE ?

IT'S MR. HANKEY, HE HASN'T SHOWN UP YET !

OH, JESUS CHRIST, I'M GOING BACK TO BED.

IT'S ONLY THREE DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS, YOU GUYS.

YOU KNOW HOW BAD THINGS HAVE BEEN AROUND HERE.

I THINK IT MIGHT BE BECAUSE MR. HANKEY HASN'T COME.

KYLE, I HAVE A FULL DAY OF WATCHING TV TOMORROW,

I DON'T HAVE TIME TO GO ON A POO HUNT RIGHT NOW, OKAY ?

IF YOU GUYS WANT THERE TO BE A CHRISTMAS

YOU BETTER COME HELP ME.

HEH-CHOO !

DUDE, YOU SNEEZED ON MY BACK !

OH SORRY, YOU MIGHT GET SOME GERMS

WHILE YOU'RE WALKING AROUND IN HUMAN FECES.

HEY, LOOK !

HELLO ?

HOWWW-DY HO !

MR. HANKEY ! OH, WE WERE SO WORRIED.

I WAS WAITING UP FOR YOU AND YOU DIDN'T COME SO I THOUGHT THAT--

OH NO, I'M FINE, KYLE.

BUT WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ?

THINGS AREN'T THE SAME WITHOUT YOU.

NOBODY SEEMS TO HAVE THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

OH, I KNOW, KYLE.

I'VE JUST BEEN AWFUL BUSY WITH MY FAMILY.

HONEY !

FAMILY ?

BOYS, I WANT YOU TO MEET MY WIFE, AUTUMN.

HOWDY HEY, KIDS.

WOULD YOU LIKE A DRINK ?

THEY'RE TOO YOUNG TO DRINK, HONEY.

OH HELL, IT'S CHRISTMAS.

OH, AND YOU HAVE TO MEET THE LITTLE NUGGETS, TOO.

KIDS !

THIS IS OUR SON CORNWALLIS.

HOWWW-DY HO !

OUR DAUGHTER AMBER.

HOWDY HO !

AND OUR SON SIMON.

NNN, HEY !

SIMON'S NOT SO SMART, HE WAS BORN WITH A PEANUT IN HIS HEAD.

WHAT'S THAT, PA ?

NOTHIN', SIMON.

A FAMILY !

SO THAT'S WHY YOU HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO SPREAD CHRISTMAS CHEER.

IT SURE HAS BEEN TOUGH.

NOBODY SEEMS THAT INTO CHRISTMAS UP THERE.

I KNOW, IT'S LIKE IT DOESN'T MATTER ANYMORE.

MY MOM'S BARELY BOUGHT ME ANY PRESENTS SO FAR.

WELL, DON'T WORRY KIDS.

I'M SENDING THE NUGGETS UP TOMORROW

TO SPREAD CHRISTMAS CHEER.

AND IF YOU WANT, YOU CAN HELP THEM.

SURE WE'LL HELP !

ANYTHING FOR MORE PRESENTS !

WOO HOO, IT'S A CHRISTMAS PARTY !

HEY, YOU BOYS.

YOU BOYS WANNA BET ME I WON'T TAKE OFF MY CLOTHES ?

HONEY, PLEASE, YOU'RE-YOU'RE DRUNK, OKAY.

BUT IT'S CHRISTMAS, BABY !

HONEY, CAN WE GO INSIDE FOR A SECOND ?

NOW WHEN PEOPLE COME OVER...

WELL, IT'S DECIDED, KIDS,

TOMORROW WE'RE GONNA BRING BACK THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS !

( humming "Good King Wenceslas" )

HO, HO, HO !

MERRY CHRISTMAS, YOU GUYS.

ONLY THREE SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL--

GOD DAMMIT !

HEY, MERRY CHRISTMAS, ASSHOLE !

NOBODY'S PAYING ANY ATTENTION.

LOOK OUT !!

EWW, I ALMOST STEPPED IN IT !

WELL, IT WAS A GOOD EFFORT, BOYS,

BUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO CLOSE SHOP.

NOBODY'S BUYING ANYTHING AND I CAN'T AFFORD

TO KEEP THIS FURNACE RUNNIN' !

OH, AND BOYS, THERE'S SOME CRAP ON THE SIDEWALK THERE, WATCH OUT.

NOT ONE TOY.

I GUESS THIS YEAR EVERYONE'S CONTENT TO CELEBRATE

WITH CANDLES AND LOVE.

THIS IS HOPELESS.

WE'RE JUST GONNA HAVE TO FACE THAT THE COMMERCIALISM

HAS BEEN SUCKED OUT OF CHRISTMAS.

And in other news tonight, it appears that everyone

is officially sick of Christmas !

In an SPC poll, 38% said they were fed up and tired of the holiday.

5% said they were indifferent to it.

And a whopping 57%

said they would kick Bon Jovi square in the balls

if given the opportunity.

Well, i think people are just fed up with the crowded shopping

and the credit card bills.

I think that the holiday just has become a joke.

Y'know, it's just that a lot of people don't really believe

in the whole "Jesus" thing anymore, y'know.

So what's to celebrate ?

Oh yeah, right in the balls, man,

right square in the balls.

Well, the holiday spirit may be gone from South Park,

but at least our faith in each other remains strong.

Oh, really ?

DUDE, CHANGE THE CHANNEL, THIS IS TOO DEPRESSING.

Good grief, we need a Christmas tree for our play.

OH JESUS, NOT THIS THING AGAIN.

HOW COME EVERYONE IN CARTOONS HAS SUCH BIG HEADS ?

All right, everyone, we've got to get on with our play.

JESUS, THIS SUCKS !

ALL THEY KEEP DOING IS DANCING AROUND.

YEAH, THIS THING REALLY FALLS APART IN THE SECOND ACT.

AND WHY IS IT-- THAT ON "CHARLIE BROWN" CARTOONS--

EVERYONE TALKS-- LIKE THIS ?

MY MOM COULD MAKE A BETTER CHRISTMAS SPECIAL THAN THIS.

HEY, THAT'S IT !

OH MY GOD, THAT'S TOTALLY IT !

IT'S SO SIMPLE. WHAT, DUDE ?

WE CAN GET EVERYONE BACK INTO THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT

BY MAKING OUR VERY OWN ANIMATED CHRISTMAS SPECIAL

AND SHOWING IT TO EVERYBODY IN TOWN.

WE DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ANIMATION.

HOW HARD CAN IT BE ? LOOK AT IT ?

HEY, YEAH !

WE CAN MAKE A LITTLE ANIMATED SANTA CLAUS AND JESUS.

AND IT CAN STAR US INSTEAD OF THESE LITTLE ROUND-HEADED GUYS.

HELL YEAH, AWESOME !

YEAH, AND WE CAN CALL IT... "THE SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS."

OH, THIS IS TERRIBLE, JOHNSON.

OUR WHOLE TOWN'S ECONOMY IS GOING RIGHT IN THE TOILET.

WE'VE GOT TO GET EVERYBODY BACK IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT.

MAYOR, SOME ADORABLE CHILDREN ARE HERE TO SEE YOU.

MUH-- SEND THEM IN.

MAYOR, WE HAVE THE SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM. YOU DO ?

WE'RE GONNA MAKE MAKE A SHORT ANIMATED CHRISTMAS CARD THAT EVERYONE CAN WATCH

AND PLAY IT AT THE SCREEN AT THE OLD DRIVE-IN.

IT'LL HAVE EVERYTHING-- JESUS, SANTA.

AND WHEN PEOPLE SEE IT THEY'LL JUST HAVE TO GET IN THE SPIRIT.

ALL WE NEED IS $300 FOR OUR BUDGET.

AN ANIMATED CHRISTMAS CARD !

KIDS, THAT JUST MIGHT BE

THE DUMBEST IDEA I'VE EVER HEARD, EVER !

AWW. AWW.

BUT AT THIS POINT I'M WILLING TO TRY ANYTHING.

JOHNSON, CUT 'EM A CHECK FOR $300.

ALL RIGHT ! ALL RIGHT !

YOU GUYS GO TELL BUTTERS TO START MAKING THE CUTOUTS.

I'M GONNA GO TELL MR. HANKEY THE GOOD NEWS.

YOU PUT THE VASE DOWN !

PUT THAT VASE DOWN, THAT'S AN EXPENSIVE VASE !

DON'T YOU THROW THAT VASE !

UH, MR. HANKEY !

OH, KYLE, HOWWW-DY HO !

WE GOT THE MONEY, MR. HANKEY,

WE'RE GONNA MAKE OUR ANIMATED CHRISTMAS CARD.

OH, THAT'S SWELL !

KIDS, CHRISTMAS IS BACK ON !

WE GOTTA ALL GET THAT OLD DRIVE-IN WORKING AGAIN.

OKAY ! OKAY !

THAT'S NOT ONLY THING WE GOTTA GET WORKING AGAIN,

IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

WHY, WHY DO YOU, WHY DO YOU HAVE TO

SAY THINGS LIKE THAT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE ?

WELL, I'VE GOTTA GO START OUR ANIMATION.

WE'VE ONLY GOT TWO DAYS !

GOOD LUCK, KYLE,

AND WE'LL HAVE THAT PROJECTOR WORKING,

DON'T YOU WORRY !

WHCORNWALLIS ?TER,

ALL RIGHT, BUTTERS, LET'S SEE WHAT YOU'VE GOT.

OH, WELL OKAY.

NOW DON'T EXPECT TOO MUCH WITH THE BUDGET YOU GAVE ME.

YEAH, YEAH, YEAH-- JUST LET US SEE 'EM.

WELL, ALL RIGHT, HERE'S A LITTLE CONSTRUCTION PAPER SANTA CLAUS.

"HO HO HO THERE, KIDS.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME TOYS AND STUFF ?"