Blood Shed

Fuck.

Hello?

Hello?

What is this?

Gabe, thought you'd want a memento of our loving family.

I'm talking about the key.

There's some crap in that shed from the state,

let it explain why you're so well adjusted.

Fuck you, Tom.

Hey, head case, who's the one living in their fucking car?

Ever think about seeing a shrink,

before they find you talking to a lamppost?

I know, I know, I know.

- I can't wait to get inside. - I know. Don't worry.

Oh, nice.

For you, dear.

So good.

Here it go.

- Alright. - So good to be home.

- Let's get you some food. - Yeah,

like an entire Thanksgiving meal.

Turkey, fixins, all that.

Long day.

Gabriel.

Mi baby.

Your gazpacho, madam.

Oh my, is that fresh cilantro on top?

Ay, yes it is.

I'm sure your baby will delight in our tomatoes,

organically grown, of course.

Boy, oh boy. You French sure know how to please a lady.

Jeb, is that you?

Baby.

Welcome to Arat Storage. Can I help you?

Uh, just wondering if you could show me where this unit is?

You find this?

- No. - Where'd you get them?

Parents.

They give them to you?

Nah, they're dead. My brother did.

644. Look up on computer.

Your parents paid five years in advance.

They receive excellent discount.

Right.

Can you show me where it is?

I can take you.

No. I show.

You go wash toilet.

Office closes at six.

Facility closes at nine.

We have people who try to leave their shit.

Homeless.

Maggots. The floors.

You get caught leaving shit, it's a violation of lease.

That means I seize all property, you understand?

Come on, second floor.

This used to be orange factory.

My father converted it into a storage facility.

Unit must be locked at all times when not using.

You Mexican?

Adopted.

Oh...

no family?

Maybe you be interested in, uh, selling some of this, no?

No, I don't think so.

Maybe you change your mind, you know,

I can buy it from you.

Don't you fucking ever touch me again.

Why, you crazy homeless, huh?

I call police.

Touch me again, I press charges for assault.

Hey.

Gabriel.

He's not gonna call the police.

He's just gonna cut off your locks and put new ones on.

Why would you tell me that?

I have been wanting to push him into a wall for months.

That dude sucks.

You know, I'm the one who's putting the new locks on.

I'll leave the keys for you on the windowsill past the gate.

You can come pick them up any time after eight.

You're welcome.

Pieces of shit.

What?

Why'd you send me that key?

Fuck. This Gabe?

Yeah.

You off your meds again?

Why did you send me that key?

Huh? What's in that black box?

What's in that box?

Gabe, I haven't talked to you in over a year.

Seriously, get some fucking help.

What ya lookin' at?

That an antique?

You wouldn't happen to have a bigger saw in there would you?

I'm not gonna bust you.

What the fuck are you doing?

Did you sleep in here?

Fucking Christ, man. Did you?

Just don't sleep past nine.

Shh!

All I really want is to make love with you.

Don't run away.

Do not. Don't.

No more. Don't run away.

You're an artist. Just like I knew.

You slept in shed.

You violate lease.

Maybe you pay me $300, and I'll forget about it.

You just make that shit up?

Okay.

Maybe I start eviction process now.

I was changing my shirt.

Clean your shed or I confiscate everything.

You touch my shit and I'll burn your fucking place down.

You can't burn this place down.

I have sprinkler in every unit.

Asshole.

Okay, well, I swept the hallways,

I emptied the trash, so if there's nothing else to do, I guess I'm just gonna go.

I need you to re-lock 644.

I thought it was relocked?

Then how did that piece of shit get back inside?

Maybe you gave him key?

Maybe you wanna lose your job, as well?

Maybe I hire exterminator?

Get rid of all the cockroaches in my building.

Give me keys when you're done.

Hey, you're not supposed to be here after nine p.m.

Yeah, well, my watch says 8:50, baby.

This is not a hotel.

You need some company, little man?

You're fucking repulsive.

Yeah, and you need a bath.

Pink goddess.

Girl, more like a pink eye.

What's your deal?

Where the fuck you been?

I've been workin' for mines. Bring yo ass inside.

Bring yo ass in.

The good shit, but that's for my pussy.

Go ahead.

Woo...

My show is on.

You see the newlyweds?

No ma'am. Last time I checked, they was out,

pulled a Houdini, everything gone.

Just gone.

You think the fuckface busted them?

Or he put they ass in the baba ganoush for the last course.

You think he got it in him?

Do I think he has it in him?

That motherfucker has more shit in him than I can even imagine.

Okay? But let me tell you what I wanna focus on right now,

I wanna get good and high till I touch the motherfucking sky.

I wanna watch my show.

Come tomorrow, I'ma find me some more of those rich daddies,

who swear up and down they're straight,

and earn my livin'.

Mm, just keep dreaming.

Ooh girl, you're on my weave, baby.

Ooh!

Fuckin' prick!

I told you not to sleep past nine.

He comes by after nine to check for locks.

That means I fucked up.

You know the ceilings are covered in chicken wire.

It's pretty easy to cut through.

Yeah, if I was eight feet tall.

Or if your friend had a ladder.

Alright, can I pull you the ladder later.

It'll cost you a dollar rental.

Here, let's make it an even two.

You see that new boy movin' in?

Oh, yes indeed.

Ah, sexy, sexy, sexy.

The fuck is he doing?

I'm thirsty.

Girl, you didn't.

You didn't.

You didn't just fuck up my monitor.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry?

Bitch, I'm sorry?

Girl, does it look like I got 200 channels of DirecTV in this mug?

All I had was the Arsen TV, and you just fucked up my shit.

You shut up. It's just a fucking monitor.

You spend the whole day looking at people's ass.

Have a good night, fuckhead.

Enjoy the show.

Hey!

Hey!

Piece of shit.

You wanna sleep in shed?

Now you can stay.

All night.

Fucking kidding me?!

The door is locked!

No fucking way!