My Three Sons

See, Dad, could I borrow a few dollars?

Yeah, I guess so, Ralph.

Oh, thanks.

You're going to the formal bit, huh?

Big date?

No, no, just a dinner party.

This darn guy.

Uh, see, Dad.

Hmm?

Oh, here.

Oh, thanks.

Oh, wait a minute.

See if you can't straighten that out a little for me.

Oh, yeah?

Why don't you get one of those clip-on ties?

Oh, if I didn't have trouble tying my bow tie, I wouldn't feel I was going formal.

Thanks.

Here.

Help yourself.

Any amount.

Hey, thanks.

Up to five dollars.

Oh.

Well, I'll go the whole route.

Whose dinner party is it?

Well, you, uh, remember Mr. Ferguson at the office?

Yeah.

Well, he's finally getting married.

Getting married?

We must be past 50 years old.

Well, he's 52 to be exact.

So we're, uh, we're giving him a little bachelor dinner tonight.

Oh, you mean you're throwing a stag?

No, we are not throwing a stag.

We are giving him a little bachelor party tonight.

Well, it's the same thing, Dad.

It is not the same thing.

There's a slight difference, Robbie.

All these men are grown, mature men.

Al Baxter is 70 years old.

He's been married almost 50 years.

Now, can't you just see him at the kind of a stag party you're talking about?

Or any of the fellas at the office, for that matter.

Or for that matter, me.

Well, yes.

I've been to a few bachelor dinners, Dad.

Sooner or later, in come the dancing girls.

No.

No, the dancing girls won't for me.

Tonight is just dinner and maybe an after dinner drink and a cigar.

And I'll be home by 10.30.

Sure you will, Dad.

Thank you.

Well, Fergie, you're marrying a wonderful girl.

I know you're going to be very happy.

Thank you, Steve.

You know, this was really very nice of you and the boys.

Oh, it was a pleasure.

You know, we were beginning to think you and Kathy never would get married.

How long were you engaged, anyway?

Fourteen years, come May.

You didn't want to rush into it, huh?

Dave tells me you're taking two weeks off for your honeymoon.

Where are you going, Oliver?

Is it a secret?

No, no, we're driving downstate to visit Kathy's aunt for a week.

Oh, I see.

Well, sounds like a very nice honeymoon.

Having fun, fellas?

Oh, everything's just fine, Tom.

Thanks.

Yes, you arranged a great dinner, Tom.

Great.

Sure did.

Well, Dave, it's about time to hit the road.

Good night, Frankie.

Good night, Tom.

Nice party, Tom.

Oh, wait, Steve, Dave, don't go.

Fellas, the party isn't over.

You know, you asked me to arrange a bachelor dinner, and I arranged a bachelor dinner.

You know, a little entertainment.

A few lovely females to remind Fergie of his bachelorhood he's giving up.

Fergie, would you mind the box seat?

Here's our first little lady right now.

Gentlemen, I give you flame.

Steve,

did you know anything about this?

No.

I guess Robbie was right.

He said a bachelor dinner's a bachelor.

And sooner or later, in come the dancing girls.

Maybe it's Tom's idea of a joke.

Yeah.

If it is, he didn't tell her.

Dave, I, uh...

I don't want to be in a wet blanket.

I know.

This isn't for me, either.

Let's see if we can't duck out of here without putting a damper on the enthusiasm.

Such as it is.

Oh, Steve, you got a light?

Yeah.

I guess Tom thinks that's the only way to make a bachelor dinner official.

I hope she doesn't catch cold.

At least we had a good turnout for Fergie, huh?

Yeah, right.

Turn on the lights.

All right, I want to get some names and addresses here.

Fellas, please, will you help me?

Look, Miss LaFlame.

LaRose.

Miss LaRose, what is this, part of the gag?

Gag?

That's no gag.

That's a raid in there.

You mean a real raid?

Yes, a real raid.

Dave, maybe we'd better go back in there and see if we can straighten it out.

Straighten it out, Dad?

Oh, let's get out of here, Steve.

It's every man for himself.

Oh, wait.

What am I going to do?

My clothes are in there.

Well, I'm terribly sorry, Miss, but I'm a married man.

Now, good night and good luck.

Oh, well, you're not married.

Well, no, no, I'm not married, but that doesn't mean I'm going back in there after your clothes.

Good night.

Mister, you can't just leave me here like this.

What else can I do?

Oh, Mister, this is the first stag I ever worked.

Now, let's get one thing straight, Mr. Rose.

That was not a stag.

At least it wasn't at first.

It was a simple bachelor dinner.

Call it what you want.

I'm just a dancer, see?

I was out of work, and my agent called, and I needed the money.

Can't you please help me?

Well, all right, I'll give you some money, and you take a cab and go home.

A cab?

If I set foot on the street to get a cab, the first cop that sees me, whammo,

he's not going to believe I was babysitting in his outfit.

No, I don't imagine you would.

Now, now, Jack, I'll give you my business card, and I'd appreciate it if you'd have it returned to my office tomorrow.

Good night.

Oh, wait.

Couldn't you just drop me at my hotel?

It isn't very far, and I could hunch down, nobody would see me, and sneak out through the parking lot.

Oh, come on, come on.

Thanks, Mr. Douglas, you're a real gentleman.

If you wait just a minute, I'll go get my key, run up to the room, get a coat, and I'll bring your jacket back.

If I were to, I wouldn't hurry, would I?

I'd like to get home.

Okay.

What's the matter?

I'm locked out of my room.

Locked out of your room?

I owe him $45.

That's why I took that miserable club date tonight.

And now the manager left orders not to give me my key unless I come up with the money.

All of it.

Well.

Oh, I'm sorry.

It's such a problem.

Here.

Here.

Gee, thanks for everything.

Well, it's all right.

I wish I could help, but I'm afraid I don't have $45.

Of course, you do have some place to go.

Dress like this?

Oh, no, I mean you have a family or a girlfriend.

Yeah, back in Peoria.

Oh.

Oh, don't worry.

I'll be okay.

Yeah, well, I wish I could be of more help, but, well, good night.

Good night.

Good night.

Look, Mr. Rose.

Put the jacket back on and come with me.

First thing we're going to do is get you some clothes.

My son Robbie's about your size.

Oh, you have a son?

Yes, I have three of them at home.

Go ahead.

Come on.

Looks.

Like everybody's asleep.

Now, you just wait here.

I'm going up to Robbie's room.

Oh, Mr. Douglas, here.

Oh, why don't you just leave it there?

You won't be gone long, will you?

I'll have some clothes for you in a minute.

You just trust me.

Mr. Douglas, if I didn't trust you, I wouldn't be here.