Hateship Loveship

- Johanna? - I'm here.

Yes.

- I'd like to wear my blue dress. - Yes, ma'am.

Hi. Yes. I'd like to report a death.

Yes, ma'am.

No, um... I don't know. She's very old.

I... I take care of her.

No, I work here.

Yes, ma'am.

I hope it was peaceful.

It was in her sleep. Thank you.

So, you got another job lined up there?

Yeah.

Whole new everything. Mrs. Willits' pastor set it up.

Hey, gorgeous!

Hey, dad.

- Hey, Edith. - Hi.

Hey. What's going on?

I'll just leave you with it. There's this model that I wrote out to get the loan.

'Cause I think if you check that out...

Are you sure you want to have this conversation?

It's a really good opportunity.

I just thought you might be interested in it.

Why don't you just leave him alone?

It is a really good opportunity.

There's a lady over there.

I'm, um, Johanna Parry from Plainfield.

- The pastor sent me. - Oh, yes, we've been expecting you.

Only a suitcase and a bag?

Oh, this my granddaughter... Sabitha. She lives in the house with me.

And that makes me Ken. I'm sabitha's father.

He's usually not here. He doesn't live here.

Uh, did you have any problems finding the house?

- Oh, no, I asked in town. - Oh. Good. Good. Okay.

We're going to the Astro later for burgers, if you want to join us.

Ken, please. She just got here.

I'm just being friendly, Bill.

Let me show you to your room.

- She's gonna be working here? - Yeah. Look at her shoes.

- Oh! - Oh, shit. You scared the hell out of me.

Sorry. I was just looking for some hangers.

Well, they're not in here.

- Oh, these are Mr. McCauley's. - Yeah.

How much is he paying you?

I'm only asking 'cause he's a cheapskate, and I wouldn't want him ripping you off.

Hey, um, don't tell Sabitha I got a headache. She'll just worry about me, okay?

Thanks, gorgeous.

And now turn.

Let's see.

- Send it. - What's taking him so long?

So, you know Sabitha from school?

What? Uh, yeah.

Where does her mother live?

She died.

Oh, my God. Stevie thought johanna was your mom.

- Ah! - Look.

"Sabitha's mom seems weird."

Please text him back and tell him she's not my mom.

Get down.

Hey, you missed the action at The Astro burger, Bill.

You're not gonna be home to Chicago till 1:00 or 2:00 in the morning.

Well, I was thinking I'd just stay and then leave tomorrow.

I don't think that's a good idea.

I'm glad you're here at least.

Sabitha needs someone like you.

Where did grandpa go?

- He's supposed to take Edith home. - I'll drive her home.

- You know, that's okay. I can call my mom. - Not a problem.

Her parents don't want her driving with you.

- Come on. - I wasn't driving...

- I wasn't driving... - It was an accident.

- It was an accident. - Okay, okay, okay! Damn it!

And now you're trying to suck up to me

to get my money for your sleazy motel Ponzi scheme?

The thing is, I got the motel for practically nothing, right?

So, when it's up and running, it's all profit.

I'd pay you back in three months, four at the most.

Yeah, well, you haven't paid me back from the last time I lent you money.

That was mainly for Marcel, wasn't it?

I mean, I just... I think if you saw the improvements that I've done, you'd jump right in.

You know, Ken, I'm really trying here.

I'm really trying. You know, Marcel would have been 36 last month.

- Yeah, I know that. - Do you know that?

I miss her, too, Bill, a lot, okay?

Okay.

I have to drive Edith home.

$18,643 on the dot.

For a savings account, I'm gonna need a government-issued I.D.,

and I put some x's there to show you where to sign at.

- May I have a bank book? - Oh. Thank you.

You live with Mr. McCauley over in South Cedar?

He banks here, too. Oh.

You're the one taking care of his granddaughter.

Yeah.

See, um, Sabitha is in class with my grandsons.

They're twins, both football players.

Yep.

Oh, gosh, poor little thing... Sabitha, I mean.

Well, losing her mother in that terrible accident, right?

And then having her father go off to prison like that.

- Just... - It's none of my business.

Thank you. I'll be home at 5:30.

Yes?

My dad left this note for you in the letter he wrote me.

Oh. Okay.

Thank you.

"Dear Johana, I was nice to meet you a few weeks ago.

Sabitha's a good kid, and I'm sure you can handle her (much better than her grandfather).

I'm glad you are there in Salon. Your friend, Ken Gaudette."

Stephen. S-t-e-p-h-e-n.

Hateship, friendship, courtship, loveship, marriage, hateship... friendship!

Shit. It's friendship.

This woman says she can reach orgasm just by shaking her leg.

The only thing worse than friendship is hateship.

Wait, this other woman started masturbating when she was 8 years old,

rubbing up against some doll she slept with.

Do you think Stevie's ever had sex?

I heard he screwed Robin Simpson with his socks on.

Oh, my God.

So, what do you think about? How do you do it?

Shut up.

- What? It's totally normal. - Yeah, totally.

'Cause you're my best friend, I'll tell you.

My parents have a handheld shower in their bathroom,

so whenever I'm alone in the house...

Okay, thank you!

- Tmi! No more. - What? It's totally normal.

- Everyone does it. - Totally normal.

It is.

Hold on a second!

Um, I don't know. Let me just... get... get that.

Get... get that. Oh, God.

Just...

God, she's so annoying. Do you think she heard?

Come in!

I told grandpa I'd clean up later.

Um, I need your father's address.

Why?

I have a card for him.

Why?

I'm just responding to the

You know, I'm going right by the post office.

- I can mail that for you. - Thank you.

Oh, it's not a problem at all.

I go right by there, so...

There you go.

- See you tomorrow. - Bye.

- Bye. - Bye.

- Did you have a good day? - Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

- I waited for you to open it. - Oh, my God.

"Dear Mr. Ken Gaudette,"

"I just thought I would write and send my thanks to you"

"for the nice things you said in your note,"

in which you included in your daughter's note..."

Ever hear of grammar?

"I'm grateful for you saying that since some people feel that a person like me

"that they do not know the... the background of is beyond the pale."

What?!

This doesn't make sense. She capitalized "beyond the pale."

Isn't that... that means, like, the other side of the tracks.

Ah, ah.

"I was born in Ames, but my mother and my brother and me"

"moved to Twin View Heights when I was a girl."

No.

Blah, blah. Pbht.

"Then I cared for Mrs. Willits." Blah, blah.

"I'm afraid I've bored you long."

- You can say that again. - No kidding.

"Thank you for your good opinion and for taking me to the restaurant."

It was a pleasure to be included.

"Your friend, Johanna Parry."

Say something about her beautiful hair.

This has to be realistic.

"I was so happy to see that you underlined 'your friend."

"Someone like me, with a checkered past,"

"could use all the friends he can get."

"Sometimes I think, who is my friend?"

"Then comes your letter."

That's boring.

Well, we can't just immediately write that he wants to suck her titties.

Okay, how about you say something like,

"you should wear your hair back more often so the world can see your pretty face"?

- How about that? - That's good.

Yeah.

Stevie!

"P.S., let's continue this correspondence"

"through e-mail. It's much faster."

"And we'll save money on stamps."

Why did you have to put the "12 step" thing?

For authenticity.

What? Recovery is a good thing.

I'll talk to you later.

- Why are you staring at me? - Oh, I'm not... I don't mean to.

Why are you even in here?

- Came to... - Yeah. Okay.

We were just kissing, okay? Normal people do that.

That was my wife's furniture.

My wife gave it to my daughter when she and Ken first got married.

After his poor judgment killed my daughter, I...

I took that furniture back.