Grand Army

Gracie?

-OK. I got you. It's OK. -

-I got you. -

Come on. Get up.

Put your foot up. Come on.

OK.

Are you disgusted by me?

No. Never.

I love you.

It's gonna be totally fine.

It's gonna be fine.

OK.

You ready?

-Mm-hmm. -OK.

- -I'm sorry!

-Oh my God. -

-It's OK. -

-Sorry, Gracie. -

Yes!

Thank you! Registration deadline is today.

I'm sorry it took us so long to get our shit together, Domo,

but you are expensive.

I'm cheap, actually. Your hair took me eight hours.

Sonia's deadass took me over six.

These girls need to stop shouting these lyrics.

So fucking true. My ears are bleeding.

Oh yes, girl!

I ask John to prom, he'd be like, "Uh, who the fuck are you?"

Girl, he knows who you are, dumbass.

Almost there.

OK.

Come hear this. They're legit eating each other out.

-Hey! -

Fuck off!

- -The fuck is wrong with them?

George was like, "Don't make it a thing," but...

it's been up there forever.

It's poisoning me.

Gracie, it's not poisoning you, I promise.

Wait, wait, wait, wait! Wait.

Don't move.

I can feel it.

One, two, three.

I can't believe you just did that for me.

Oh my God.

Nat, Chris?

Success.

- Holy shit, you goddess! - What is that?

Ugh!

- - Uh-uh.

Wanna pick that up for me real quick?

I have to get to class.

I'm just... fucking with you.

Relax.

OK.

Dude, George learns how to use a condom, or he doesn't get to do you anymore. OK?

And no one better talk shit.

I'm fucking serious.

You got Plan B, right?

That condom had his sperm in it, and it was stuck in you.

-Damn, yo, that's some thotty shit. -

-Gracie, you're not pregnant. -But I could be.

And I'm drowning in APs right now.

I don't have time to deal with a fucking fetus!

Oh my God. Oh my God, I'm gonna throw up.

-I am 100% not going to Conor's tonight. -What? No!

Grace, I wanted to stay at your place tonight!

- I'm gonna be late for class. -

You didn't have to fuck with her like that.

I was just providing her information. You're her dance captain, right?

Maybe that's something you should do?

Well, when I'm officially voted captain in the spring, I'll have to remember that.

Hey, what are you captain of again, by the way?

John Ellis, dipping out.

You still got time to catch him.

Stop.

Better hurry!

-Slow down. -Yeah, relax.

I don't need to relax.

Hey, is that your girl, Punjab?

She send you a tit pic?

Let me see.

Did you fuck her yet?

-Dude. -What?

I'm just playing.

If you, uh, wanna stay a virgin, I respect that.

Hey, Sid, pull you away for a sec?

Guys, get to class.

Peace, Harvard boy.

Hey, so your parents have sent me a few emails.

I detailed for them again our strategy for your deferment.

If we're gonna get those extra materials in, we gotta--

Yeah, I'm on it. Trust me.

I'm just trying to get the essay

to the place you're telling me it needs to be, so...

-We're getting down to the wire. -I know.

You'll have a solid final version next week.

Sounds like a plan.

There is a long history of Jews and Judaism in China.

There's documentation of Jewish people in China

starting as early as the 7th century.

I looked it up.

There are only 2,500 Jews in the whole country.

Small communities developed throughout the Tang and Song dynasties...

White girl desperate to find white history in China.

...and all the way through the... King dynasty. I'm mostly interested--

Listen to the way she says "Qing!"

They will be the main focus of my project.

Great. That sounds wonderful. Thanks, Leila.

Can't wait to see your presentation.

All right. Who wants to go next? Anyone?

Me.

You look like a whore.

What?

We always forget you can't speak Chinese.

You don't even look Chinese.

You'll put "born in China" on your college applications though,

won't you, Anne Frank?

Damn. Y'all are fucking brutal.

We really wanna reflect on the past

to understand ourselves better.

And if for you, that means bringing in a video clip to share with us

just to explain or that it shows

something visual about that time period that you find really fascinating.

Like, please do that. That would be amazing.

-Hey, can I have a tissue, please? - Here.

Here, brother.

All right.

Appreciate it, Abdullah.

- Stay out of trouble. -Of course. Thank you.

We killed that audition, bro.

Hey, it's like I fucking became Coltrane in that room.

-Word. -Yo, I swear I hit that F2 like "Yeeeee!"

Yo, since I got that new 2.5 reed, fire.

-Damn. -Mm!

What'd they say to you again?

Uh, crisp sound, flawless delivery, impressive musicality.

Yeah, see, bro? This is 100 percent happening.

-Don't shake your head. I told you! -Come on, bro.

Yeah. Hold on. Let me toss this.

Yo, Jay!

-But look, bro, here's the truth. -What you about to say?

It's obviously mad easy to be overly confident

when your parents hook you up with master classes at Julliard,

-and you blowing on a Selmer. -Yo. Yo, fuck that, bro.

You trying wailing on my school-issued Yamaha.

-I got the same natural talent as you. -Please.

That's why we both gonna get in.

OK, Jay.

-Bro, stop it. -I believe you, bro.

Yo! Shit, what's good? Where you headed, bro?

-I'm out. Senior living. - Looking good, bro.

I'm gonna go surprise my mom for lunch.

Fucking word. She's not gonna be mad at you for skipping?

Nah, I got in on early decision. I'm straight for Chapel Hill.

- North Carolina, baby. all right. -Yeah.

- I feel that. -So, yeah. Now I'm just chilling.

Y'all going to that free later?