Detention of the Dead

Show me the side streets in your life

Train yards like bone yards sharpened knives

Sidewalks are unassuming fields

concrete and cracks won't cut you deals

Won't cut you deals, won't cut you

Lost teeth like white jewels of some kind

Petty theft for penny crimes

for penny crimes, and we yell

Ah, like a good old fashioned nightmare

Ahh

ah, like a good old fashioned nightmare

Ahh

life being drained through end of lives

Still we've got nothing but time

The skyline looks brighter tonight

let's go smash out every light

your left foot in front of right

In front of right, and we yell

Ah, like a good old fashioned nightmare

Ahh

ah, like a good old fashioned nightmare

Ahh

Ah! Detention. Boring.

I can think of a few things we can do to kill some time.

Brad, baby, you remember

this is what got us into detention in the first place.

You only got me for three more months till graduation.

And it's off to boot camp before officer training.

- I know, Bradikins, it's just... - I'm just saying, that was the time

to show your support for our troops.

You do... support...

- our troops. - I do, it's...

Hi, Janet. Brad.

I didn't know you'd be in detention.

Whatever.

I saw you got a "D" on the cal test.

Yeah, well, Mr. Corbin is a sexist.

I'm sure. Anyway, I thought, maybe, I don't know...

I could tutor you.

Hey, Ed, remember how I like to hang out with you?

Oops.

Hell, yeah.

Shit.

Hey.

Yo.

You got it?

Doth the Ashman ever fail you?

You're sure it won't pop in a piss test?

100% untraceable.

Dude, if Marky MCG had been popping these,

he could've run for congress instead of lying in front of them.

Good. And you're sure you can get more?

I've got the straight hook up.

Wait. What's the m for?

Um...

Uh, midalithamethamine.

That's uh, its clinical name.

Hey, I've heard of that.

Smart guy.

I am a renegade

don't fit in with the fold, baby?

Doin' time on the West Side way?

Taking it day by day

hell, yeah

Uh, Edster. Did you come to visit me in the big D?

Uh, no, I got detention, too.

No way. You got detention?

Now when your mom accuses me of being a bad influence,

she actually has a leg to stand on.

Uh, yeah.

Can the Ashman interest you in his other wears?

Grade a. Called blue sky.

And trust me, it will get you soaring.

Yeah.

No. No go, dude.

This body's a temple.

There's no way I'm polluting it with that shit.

Check it.

I tell you, Edster, if I ever meet George Romero,

I'm gonna seduce him and bear him little zombie babies.

But then they would probably eat us which would be kind of sad

because that means no more living dead movies.

But it would be a great metaphor

for what kids end up doing to their parents

when they turn into teenagers. Right, Ed?

Mrs. Rumblethorp?

Eddie.

I was wondering if you decided yet

about telling principal McMann.

Marksamus! Mi amigo. How doth it hang?

Oh, whoa, bro, you OK?

It's my hand.

Some crazy bum bit me out in the parking lot.

I'm sorry. I don't think I can just ignore this.

What you did is serious.

It's illegal. Not to mention dangerous.

You can't tell him because this is my chance.

It's Harvard.

Well, here, let Dr. Ash take a look.

I got the cure for what ails you. Here.

Oh, whoa, dude!

You got some legit nurse visiting rights.

Yo, Mrs. rumbles!

Ms. Ro, I think you should check mark man's hand.

No, I told you...

Marksamus.

For serious, hit the nurse.

For one thing, she's like 10 times hotter than rumbles.

Mrs. rumbles!

That dude's totally got rabies.

You don't go rabid in a couple of hours.

Ok, back up, everyone.

Uh, Mrs. Rumblethorp...

Help her!

He's strangling her!

On the count of 3.

He's not letting go.

1, 2, 3!

My uniform!

Jesus Christ, she's like bleeding to death,

and you're worried about your uniform?

It's blood. Do you know how hard blood is to get out?

Guys!

I think Marksamus is dead zone.

Uh, I'm gonna get help.

Willow, we need something to stop the bleeding.

This is dry clean only.

- Hey! - Problem solved.

Uh... guys?

Come here!

What are they doing?

What kind of rabies is this?

It's not rabies.

They're zombies.

Holy fucklestein!

Oh, my God! What are we gonna do!

I say we get the hell out of here.

Damn straight.

I don't think that's a good idea.

- What? - No, look, look, look!

The guy who bit mark must have bit other kids.

If they turn into zombies and bite other students,

you've got what you call

infinitely expanding growth potential. Huh?

One zombie equals many more zombies.

Oh.

So we can't go out there.

We don't know how many more could be out there.

They could be everywhere.

What are you saying, we should stay here and hide?

Mrs. Rumblethorp, you shouldn't be standing.

She's trying to say something.

Oh, hey, you really need to stop doing that.

It's even grossing me out.

- Brad, baby. - What?

Kill it.

Why me? Jim, you kill it. I'll get the next one.

- You're the one joining the ROTC. - So.

So go get all hoo-rah on his ass.

Sorry, but I think staying in there is a bad idea.

Agreed.

I hope I become a ghost

How long before she, you know...

I don't know, but we can't leave her.

I hope I become a ghost

and make sure the future turns out fine

I hope I become a ghost

and when the world is said and done

Signs will become so close

and there will be nowhere that I can't run

Ooh

ahh

ohh

Uh, to the back, come on. Come on!

And watch all my grandchildren growing old

Some they will remember me

and others through the stories they've been told

Now I don't intend to frighten you

I just want to see if what I think is true

Cause then and only then we'll know

If it was worth it to become a ghost

This is the future of our American military?

I know. Pretty soon even the French will conquer us.

Chuck? Yeah, man, hit that shit.

Shit.

I'll check if principal McMann is here.

Babykins, you won't let them hurt me, will you?

Janet, babe, I have years of military experience.

Alright, they won't lay a finger on you.

You have years of military experience?

Yeah. I've been paintballing with my dad since I was 6.

Principal McMann?

Oh, damn it! I got nothing.

Uh, I got nothing here.

Yeah. Me neither.

Nor I.

Me, too.

Maybe all these, uh, corpsicles

are creating some kind of undead zone.

Hey, Lilly and Ashley are out there.