Tuscan Wedding (Toscaanse Bruiloft)

Hurry up. Serve the mothers of the young couple first.

- They're paying. - Paying well, too.

- Will you fetch her? - Yes.

- You look great. - Thank you.

Welcome all, on this wonderful day, at Villa Matrimonio Toscanesca.

The sun is shining today and is almost as radiant...

was the look in the young couple's eyes.

You've come from far: two families, friends...

and you've spent the last few days here in Tuscany.

- Isn't she a dear? - Yes.

And she always loves doing it.

- Come on, back to work. - Yes.

Yes.

I hereby declare you joined in matrimony.

- What's that? - What do you mean? Marla?

Marla.

Put the cake in the middle. It's beautiful.

Dear Herman and Remco, as is customary in Italy...

the certificate is signed by the Mayor, Mr Bellamonti.

- Thank you, gorgeous. - There you are.

Sanne, could you go more easy on the decorations?

It looks like a flower pageant outside.

People marry only once. Shouldn't it be perfect?

- I should have them dealt with. - What?

- Those wrinkles... - Darling, there's no need.

- Just a little jab. - Don't even think of it.

Bob. Watch out.

Impossible creature.

Invite you for

A TUSCAN WEDDING

- Right on the tits, too. - That will do, don't you think?

I'll buy new flowers for you. These can go.

Hey, don't throw them away.

- They're still fine. - Okay.

- At least let me pay for them. - No, it's quite all right.

Sorry.

- Bye... - Bye.

- Are you following me? - No, this is where I have to be.

- Oh, you've come for the inspection? - Yes, I'm Jeroen Beukering.

Isn't Bob the groom?

Yes. I'm Bob's best friend. I'm only a witness to the disaster.

Ah... that'll be them.

Ciao.

- Sanne van Straaten, wedding planner. - I'm Lisa, the bride.

- Congratulations. - Thank you.

Irresponsible.

- Hello, I'm Bob. - I'm Sanne.

Splendid. Let the Roman orgy begin.

Wasn't your theme La Dolce Vita?

What? No Roman orgy? Strike me from the list in that case.

- It's a pity. - Boys...

This is all pan of it?

- Not a bad location, don't you think? - Just what I wanted.

Dear Bobbikins, it's really wonderful.

I love you.

- And I love you, my beauty. - Mega much.

- A real mega super lot. - A mega super lot.

This is going to take some time.

Bob is a cosmetic surgeon. He'll make her a dream woman.

No, I've never touched Lisa and I never will.

She's so beautiful, so pure. I'll keep her like that forever.

- Right, my beauty? - You're so sweet.

- It's so beautiful here. - I like it if you like it.

Oh, a swimming pool. May we? Oh, Bobbiboo.

Isn't this terrific?

And so a great man's mind disappears...

in the mud of a monogamous marriage. What a waste.

What's your problem?

- I don't believe in it. - In their marriage?

I don't believe in marriage. Full stop.

- It's an honour to marry you two. - Thank you.

- We'll make it a lovely time. - Oh, I can't wait.

Ciao, bella. Arrivederci. See you in July.

Bye.

Bye.

Fien, we're going on a trip to Italy.

It's wonderful. The prosecco is simply in the air.

What do you think, Koos, would Bob let me take them off?

Well, I couldn't possibly say.

I think Bob is such a sweetie.

In the past we had to wait and see who our daughters brought along.

- They're off. How do I look? - Yes, beautiful.

Yes? Really? I think so too, in fact. Thank you.

Wonderful that Fien and I could get a lift.

Right, Fien. You like it too, don't you? Isn't it fun?

What a botched up job. It's no more than a ruin.

If I built this at home they'd knock it over.

Oh, what fun. It's always been my wish. Does this look right?

Does it look real? Let me see.

Oh, this is such fun.

Oh, Koos, it's so good to be with you.

Maybe this will be our second honeymoon?

Darling, we've been divorced for 18 months.

Don't start imagining things.

Of course I'm imagining things.

What else can I do?

Tom, what days are these if even a wedding planner can't find a man?

All she needs is a little push.

- A push towards what? - Hip, hip, hooray.

You didn't. I wanted to ignore it. Thirty is so definitively thirty.

Nonsense, nonsense. Tom, the present.

Oh yes... Darling, don't think we want to get rid of you...

- But you do, a bit. - No.

You're always among loving couples.

It's time for your own happiness.

Living with a man and his adult daughter can't be a joke.

- Sanne? - Grandma's ring. Hint, hint.

- For you. - Camillo.

For my birthday?

Si. And for my brother's marriage this afternoon.

But you shouldn't have.

We are friends, and friends need taking care of properly.

- Thank you so much. - Don't mention it. Ciao.

- I'll see you this afternoon. - Si.

- Forget it. - Shame.

Camillo and I are just friends.

Don't forget me

my life and yours are united

What's up? Cigarette? Should I brush my teeth?

- Take a rest. Tomorrow's a shambles. - It's okay.

I just don't want you to drop dead.

- That wasn't the deal. - Darling...

I don't want to be a head patient with a bossy nurse around.

- A bossy nurse? - Yes.

But that could be very exciting.

Nurse... what are you doing?

No response. The doctor says it's the pills.

Doesn't matter. The bossy nurse can wait.

How good to see you.

- Arrivederci. - Hi, Bob.

- They're really special. - Yes, good choice.

We have the rings, certificate, passports. All we need.

Well, I've got a little request.

I would really love it if you, Jeroen...

could do the wedding ceremony.

What? But wasn't Jeroen your witness?

Yes, but he's also my best friend. He knows us best.

- You can't just do that. - Why not?

- Is it allowed? - Of course it is.

But has Jeroen had enough time to prepare?

Speaking in public can be stressful.

He's a defence lawyer. It can't be a problem.

Divorce cases. Yes, sorry.

- It's still strange. - Why?

As if you're making a butcher run a pet farm.

What do you think?

Why not share it? You do the speech and you do the marrying.

- Is that okay? - Of course it is.

Have you ever been to a marriage ceremony?

No.

- There you are. - Does it matter?

I hear these lovely stories about desperate bridesmaids.

There's a wedding in the area this afternoon. Come along if you like.

Wonderful.

You may learn something about love.

Now now, Bobbiboo, that's a bit over the top.

- Here we are. - Hi.

Hello, you old sponger.

- There you go. - And... ready for your bucket list?

Your last pre-death wish?

- Death, marriage. It's all the same. - That's true.

Oh no, Bob. Don't do it. Really... don't.

You put it on the wish-list yourself.

- Okay? - There you go.

No, no...

Great, Bobby.

Great, Bob.

Photo. Photo...

Oh, fuck. The rings.

The rings... the rings...

The rings.

- Did I see something drop? - The rings...

Why did you want to be a divorce lawyer?

What's wrong with it, Lily?

All your clients ditch each other. I'd get depressed.

No, I'm helping them. I release them from their chains.

- For 150 euros an hour. - A little more, in fact.

How noble of you.

How about you?

Seeing happy people makes me happy.

Are you in a relationship?

I'm divorced.

Three years ago. He kept the house, and I moved to Italy.

Three years.

Yes, and when was your last serious relationship?

Or maybe there never was one?

I got it nearly right, didn't I, Jeroen?

- Do something with it, Lily. - Why do you call me Lily?

Because your name sounds like a flower.

And we first met at a flower shop. So it's Lily.

In a few minutes we will be landing at Pisa airport

Victor, my sister is getting married...

and you can only talk about big waves?

What?

- It's the other way. - Just go.

You're letting me down again. You know what?

Damn you and your lovely big waves.

Lily, what do I have to do during the ceremony?

I ask Bob if he wants Lisa...

I fear he'll say 'Yes'. Then I ask Lisa...