Casual

Previously, on "Casual"...

I can't feed you, I can't house you.

I don't even know where I'm sleeping at.

- But I want to help. - Help here.

I mean, there's Skid Row, immigration, housing...

But I want to help you.

We should do this every day, right?

What, the crossword?

At least until the construction stops.

Did you have these made before I got here?

No.

You're sad. Why are you sad?

My friend moved away.

Do you love her?

So, Jack and I went to Fresno.

- Oh, yeah? - Yeah.

Met Rich and his family. They're sweet.

I'm sorry, who's Rich?

He's my half-brother.

I don't know... I don't know what my fucking problem is.

Totally overrated.

Absolutely 100% properly rated.

They're like every other family.

Like... like the Osbournes.

- That's slander. - And the inbreeding?

There's got to be a lot of inbreeding.

No, not anymore, and also,

no one wears a lace dress like Kate Middleton.

- That I will concede. - Thank you.

- Oh. -

Have you seen "Fun Home"?

It's a vibrant musical.

"Hamilton" before "Hamilton."

Oh, I'd love to see "Hamilton."

Um, sorry, can you excuse me just one...

Is everything okay?

Leon...

I want you to know these last few months

have been wonderful.

They've been surprising,

and tender,

and intimate.

They've been perfect.

Exactly.

And perfect is scary for me.

My dad's a fuckup, and the rest of my family's, like...

Let's just say...

Perfect isn't me.

Okay.

But I want it to be.

They say that your ideal partner

is someone that you would be okay with

if everyone else in the world died.

And I really hope that doesn't happen,

but if it does,

and there's, like, a terrible disease,

or, like, a solar flare or something,

that leads to a mass extinction,

and somehow just the two of us

are the only ones left alive,

I think I'd be okay.

Relatively.

You make my heart burst

when you walk into a room.

Will you walk into every room with me?

Will you marry me?

Is that a yes?

My mom always said to get verbal confirmation.

Yes.

Yes?

Yes.

Very much yes.

Good.

I'll make breakfast.

No, I have to pick up Clark.

- Oh. - You still have that son?

Oh, you know, I thought about getting rid of him,

but the tax credits are...

Oh, my God. Look.

Leon's engaged. Holy fucking fuck.

- You text with Leon? - Oh, my God.

It's perfect. Leia and Leon.

So alliterative.

Who's Leia?

Val's assistant. With her cat.

Jesus, you don't care.

Leon wants to get coffee later.

You don't think... oh, my God.

You think he wants me to be the best man?

Alex, I'm naked, and I need to go and get my son.

Right. Rae, bye.

- Mm. - Thank you.

- Sorry. - That's okay.

I'm just so excited.

Is it a green card thing?

No, it's love, actually.

And this has been going on for...

- Seven weeks. - Oh, my God.

Wow.

- Leia! - I know it seems fast,

but sometimes you just know, you know?

He's my person. My survival partner.

Will you be a bridesmaid?

I... I've never been a bridesmaid.

Well, I'd like you to be mine.

- Well, I'd be really honored. - Yay!

Okay, I'm sharing your info with my sisters.

They're hosting an engagement fête for us tomorrow.

I thought you only had one sister.

Biologically, yes, but she's addicted to methamphetamines.

These are my Delta Sig sisters.

They can be kind of much, but you know.

You can't choose your family.

But you did choose them.

No, they chose me.

Leia!

Hey, this is Alex. Leave a message. Or don't.

I'll look at my call log and decide whether or not

to call you back.

Did you hear? Okay. You must have heard.

I mean, Alex, this is crazy.

Did you know about any of this?

And now I'm a... I'm a bridesmaid.

Oh, my God. Call me.

Oh, fuck me.

My friend was supposed to come with me, but,

she got roped up in some work shit,

and so now I'm out a copilot.

I thought you weren't supposed to go

to strangers' houses you meet on Craigslist.

Safety's ideal, but it's not

- an actual thing. - Right.

Also, Pep Boys is walking distance.

Fuckers tried to upsell me, though.

Brakes, shocks, filters.

Like, bro. Oil change. Oil.

Grease it up and let's go.

Sexism, right?

- Pussy grabs back. - Damn right it does.

So why you going to Sac-to?

- Volunteering. - Trust fund kid?

No, just upwardly mobile.

So you're leaving tomorrow?

At the stroke of midnight.

I drive on a lunar schedule on account of my vampire blood.

And I fucking hate traffic.

I'll just need a hundo for gas and tolls.

That much?

Is that a problem?

No, not at all.

Leon.

Leon! Hello!

Hey.

Congratulations, man.

I'm a little surprised... I mean, I'm a lot of surprised.

Why didn't you say anything?

Also, what are you thinking for the bachelor party?

I hear Cartagena is amazing now that it's not

overrun by cartels... we can finally get that cocaine.

- About that... - I'm kidding. I'm just kidding.

Seriously, that's amazing.

And speech-wise, what are you expecting?

Jokey? Sentimental? I mean, I suppose a good speech

- does a little of both... - Alex.

You're not my best man.

Okay.

Yeah, I'm happy just to be a groomsman.

I'm not a groomsman?

It'll be a small wedding party.

- I introduced you to Leia. - Valerie introduced me to...

I introduced you to Valerie.

No, you didn't.

- That Aussie guy? - That the best man?

Ryan. Yes.

Oh, man.

This must be what girls felt like in middle school.

You're a friend.

A good friend.

Please don't take this the wrong way.

Yeah, no. Of course not.

We're having an engagement party tomorrow.

Um, it would be good to have you there.

Nice, yeah. Cool.

Schedule permitting, but sure.

Oh. Blowing up.

Ah, shit. Office needs me. I got to run.

Uh, congrats, man.

Seriously. So happy for you.

Never join a sorority.

- Duly noted. - Do you have a Bitmoji?

'Cause what is the point?

What, of a slightly more attractive,

Anglicized avatar that takes funny shit

from gay culture and makes it our own?

Yas, Queen.

And look, don't their faces look eating disorder-y?

What's with that? What are you doing here?

Getting back into photography?

Uh, yeah, you could say that.

I call this one "Still Life With Table."