Modern Family

Can people change? Well, that's a... tough one

that's a tough one but i would say "yes",

people can change. That's what I believe, anyway.

And I will until the day I die.

You do realize you're proving the exact opposite of your point?

See, she's changed. She used to be very supportive about me.

Come on...

: Phill!

Ow! Why is this so loud?

Why is this so loud? -I dont know

Make it stop.

I just installed a sweet home theatre system

at the family room.

The trouble is - Claire struggles with technology.

Of any kind.

I mean, remotes, cell phones, computers...

Haley, have you seen my blue...

- Hey, Mrs. Dunphy. - Oh, hey, Dylan.

You know I can see you, right?

No, I did not know that

Haley is just in the bathroom, she'll be back in just a minute?

Thank you.

What are we poiting at?

At the TV.

Honey, no, I'm sorry. It's a home theater.

What so I - I can't point at the TV

when I wanna watch the TV? - no.

You pointg at the reciever.

What's a reciever?

Okay, Imagine our home theater system is a human body,

so, then, the reciever is the brain.

The TV is the face. - And what part you are?.

So, he says those lies, and a lot many more.

His heart - Boom! -Boom!

Quadruple bypass, blow the valve.

He look who it is!

Hey, there he is. What a coinkydink.

I was just getting some flowers for gloria for babysitting lily.

You want me to take them to her? I would,

But I have the most hilarious card for her at home.

It's -- it's a hunky Antonio Banderas type

In silk boxers, and on the inside it says,

"thank you for last noche...

But I can't find my pantalones."

I'm not doing it justice, really.

Hi, I'm cameron. Oh, geez, I'm sorry.

Guys, this is cameron.

He's a, um... A f-friend of my son's.

This is, uh, Scotty, Dale, Hugo, and Shorty.

It's nice to meet you guys.

You guys look like a scene out of "Jersey Boys."

Ohh, so handsome! Thank you.

Manny, are you wearing aftershave? Yes.

For my date.

This will be the first time she will ever smell me.

Her name is Whitney.

I met her in an online book club.

We both like vampire fiction and the romance of eternal life.

I think it's adorable that Manny has a date.

He even picked out the lunch menu.

Grilled-cheese sandwich and tomato soup.

Tomato soup because, you know,

That tomato soup is like the blood

And the vampires like to eat their blood.

And then he wants me to take them out for ice cream,

Well, because Manny likes ice cream.

Oh, that must be her.

If this goes well, you don't need to stick around.

Hi, I'm Whitney. I'm here for Manny.

see how that works?

Sorry, sweetie. Sorry, daddy.

Oh,Nah it's all right.

We were just -- me and lily were just using the time

To finally figure out how to use the car's voice-command thingy.

Oh. Yeah, here, check it out. Watch.

Cd player, next track.

Say a command.

Cd player, next track.

Air conditioner on. Damn it.

Wow, you're worse than your sister with this kind of stuff.

It's a good thing lily doesn't have an ejector seat.

Oh, guess what.

I ran into your dad and some of his friends.

Oh, really? Yeah. And get this --

He, uh, he referred to me as "a friend of my son."

Seriously?

Yeah. -Thats a little disrespectful to you

Well, I wasn't offended by it.

Well, I am.

I mean, w-would he refer to Phil as "a friend of Claire's?" no.

I've heard him call Phil a lot worse.

Just let it pass. I should have never said anything.

No, I'not letting it pass.

He needs to know that that's not okay

And if he doesn't like it, he knows where he can go.

Enter a destination.

Hell!

Mexican food.

Shut up!

I came out of the closet in my mid-20s.

I had to actually come out to my dad three times

Before he finally acknowledged it.

I'm not sure if maybe he was hoping he heard it wrong.

Like I had said, "dad, I'm gray."

And my parents, they always just knew.

My mother says labor with me took 36 hours

Because I came out of the womb like this, "hello!"

Hey, dad. Mitchell.

Hey, you guys know my son, Mitch.

Hey. Hey, Mitch. How's it hanging there, buddy?

Hey, hey hey, that's a great coat.

Where'd you get that? Um, you know, I don't know. It was a gift.

Really? What is it, suede? Microsuede?

Some kind of lambskin? It's very soft, you know?

Thank you.

Uh, can I talk to you for a second? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Be right back. Good seeing you.

What's the matter? Um, "a friend of my son"?

That's how you introduce Cam?

That's why you came here?

Dad, it's -- it's just more than a little insulting.

Cam and I have been together for five years.

We -- we have a daughter. It's --

Look at these guys.

They look like they came out of the 1800s.

You see Hugo over there? After lunch, he ordered a sanka.

No, they're -- they're not the ones that are uncomfortable with this.

You are. You...

You've never been completely accepting of me

And now that I have a family, it's getting a little old.

These guys don't understand the gay thing.

Why create an awkward situation? That's all I'm saying.

That's weird, because your friend Shorty there --

Gay as they come.

You got to be kidding. Mnh, no. My gaydar is never wrong,

And it is pinging like we're at a bathhouse.

What are you talking about, gay? The guy used to be married.

Okay, well, that makes -- no, well, so did Elton John,

Merv Griffin, Cole Porter --

Hey, you know what? You know what? Listen to me.

You couldn't be more wrong about this.

No, dad, You could not be more wrong -- about a lot of things.

Good seeing you guys.

Yeah! See you!

That's a great coat!

Ping!

Phil Dunphy. Hey, it's me.

Hey! Listen, I've got a bunch of moms over here

Who want to watch the talent-show dvd,

And I can't get the sound to work.

Is there a picture? Yes.

Be honest. Did you do that thing where you get frustrated

And you start pressing all the buttons?

No.

I have a theory

That Phil installs overly complicated things in the house

Just so he has an excuse to talk to me like a child.

Last month, it was the thermostat.

# The Snowflake Button #

# makes it cold, cold, cold #

# "set temperature" makes it hold, hold, hold #

# the little flame makes it... #

Whitney:

This is so humiliating. I am sorry.

It's okay.

He just seemed so mature online.

How could I be so stupid?

You're not stupid. Stupid is not following your heart

And taking a chance on love.

I mean, what kind of 11-year-old talks like that?

Manny's an old soul.

Here, use my handkerchief.

You see what I mean?

I'll just be alone for the rest of my life, and that's okay.

No, don't say that.

In my country, there is a saying that means,

"love is just around the corner."

I come from a neighborhood with a lot of prostitutes.

Maybe for you.

I mean, men must throw themselves at you every day.

They'll do the same for you if you just...

Just what?

Put out?

No, just -- like, the lipstick,

The hair, push-up bra, you know.

What's it matter? I'm never gonna be as pretty as you.

Believe me, this takes a lot of work.

You just need to find your inner beauty.

It's hiding beneath a mask of insecurity.

Okay, he's starting to freak me out.

Manny, go play. Okay.

Mitchell, how do these look to you?

Like they're dying.

I know, right? I said something to the florist,

And he said, "oh, don't worry about it.

They're gonna me back." they're not coming back.

They've crossed to the other side!

You are a funny man. Why?

Well, because you're completely bothered by the flowers,

But when my father introduces you as "a friend of my son" --