Tru Confessions

Isn't it funny how people on TV lead the most amazingly perfect lives?

Lucky them, huh?

Anyway, that's me with my twin brother, Eddie.

Can you tell I'm obsessively attached to my camera?

My dad says if I could've, I probably would've filmed my own birth.

And my friends? (CHUCKLES) They love being in my movies!

Come on, just jump up there and do it.

You do it.

Denisey?

No.

Don't you think we're getting a little too old for this?

Come on! You two would make the perfect tragic romantic couple.

Jakey!

I'm king of the world.

Cut. Great.

I'm not doing it again.

Why not?

'Cause we're in high school now, and I have a reputation to protect.

Since when?

And, in case you haven't noticed,

Tru won't be happy until she turns her entire life into a sitcom.

And here's another thing.

On TV, no matter how gigantic your problems are,

by the final commercial, everything's wrapped up, everybody's happy.

Who wouldn't want to live like that?

Yeah, but talk about totally predictable and boring.

Hey, reality's harsh. I would much rather live inside the tube.

-Popper-Ozzie! Popper-Ozzie, Tru! -Eddie, stop it. Stop it now, Eddie.

Popper-Ozzie! Popper-Ozzie! Popper-Ozzie!

Give me the camera! You are not a paparazzi!

Eddie! Stop it! Eddie! Stop it!

Hey, hey, hey, hey, stop it, you guys! Knock it off!

What is going on here?

He came jumping out at us, shooting this thing off in our faces.

Um, maybe we ought to take off.

No, come on, you guys don't have to go.

No, it's okay, I'll call you tomorrow.

Hmm.

Proud of yourself?

I'm sure he didn't mean any harm, Tru.

That's what you always say.

I only wanted to be funny.

Well, you weren't, okay? I mean, I've got, like, big white spots

in front of my eyes, and you chased away my friends, Eddie.

Can you say you're sorry, honey?

Sorry.

Forgive me, Tru?

All right.

Good.

Eddie, how about you go and work on your map project, huh?

It's in the den.

Why do you have to act like this?

Me? If I shot a flash off in his eyes, you would ground me for a month.

Yeah, because you know better.

So does he. Mom, you let him get away with everything.

Eddie was only trying to get your attention.

He feels left out when you're here with your friends.

So whatever he does is just perfectly fine,

but I can't do anything right?

Is that what I just said?

You don't have to say it. It's totally all over your face.

-Tru. -Forget it.

Leave me alone.

Hi, Mom.

Oh, honey, I don't think I've had a chance today

to tell you how very proud of you I am.

Thanks, Mom.

Seriously, Tru.

You're brilliant, you're adorable, and you have the best taste in clothes.

Well, then, Mom, I think you and Dad should increase my allowance

by... A hundred dollars a week?

Sure.

Okay, here's the deal.

The more I wish my life could be like a sitcom,

the more it turns into a soap opera.

I mean, I can't really even talk to my mom,

because not only does she totally not get me,

but she's always so busy dealing with Eddie.

Then there's my dad.

Do you know he actually operates on people's brains?

Ew. That's, how gross?

Anyway, he's hardly ever here,

and frankly, sometimes I think he likes it better that way.

Anyway, does it seem a little bit psycho that I'm keeping this video journal?

Not to me. In fact, here's 101 reasons why I'm doing it.

Reason one,

when I'm incredibly famous and have my own show,

I'll put this journal out on video so everybody could see

what my life was really like.

Reason two,

in case foreign agents break in and drain my memory,

I'll still have this tape as a record of my life.

Reason three,

I really, really need something that's completely and privately mine.

Anyway, I haven't actually come up with reasons 4 through 101 yet,

but I promise when I do, I'll get back to you.

Fork, knife, spoon.

Is Dad home yet?

No.

One of his patients had some sort of post-op complication.

Jeez, I can't even imagine being a surgeon like he is.

That's why we have to be really mellow when he gets home.

What's for dinner?

Chicken, twice-baked potatoes, broccoli.

No, no, no, Tru, we need it.

-We need... -No.

-Yes, we do. -Eddie, we don't need those...

We do need them. Miss Tarr said that's how you set the table.

But tonight, we don't need them.

Fork, knife, spoon. We need them, Tru.

-Eddie, no. -We need them, Tru.

Hey, let him set the table the way he wants, okay?

Mom, it's my night to do the dishes.

I don't want to have to wash something that we're not even gonna use.

If it's such a big deal, I'll do the dishes.

That's not the point.

I think the point is you want to argue about everything today.

You know, you're so worried about not hurting Eddie's feelings

that you act like I don't have any feelings at all.

a TV show out of my life,

remind me to cast somebody else as my mom.

Reasons why I think Eddie might be the most well-adjusted one

in our entire family.

First, Eddie would never go out of the house

without bothering to look in the mirror,

like some people I know.

And then, what about the way she always has to ask

the world's most embarrassing questions?

Excuse me. Hi.

Are these tomatoes really organic?

Or do you just, like, put the sign up there

to, you know, take advantage of

environmentally-conscious women like myself?

And you'd never catch Eddie packing leftover Chinese food and chopsticks

in my lunch.

Check out the note in totally fake Chinese writing

that has the "translation" on the back.

Could she possibly be any cornier?

I'm really serious. I want to know if they're organic or not.

Tru and everybody came home, and I was really funny.

Popper-Ozzie! Popper-Ozzie! Remember, Tru, when I said it?

Papa-who?

He's saying paparazzi, Dad. You know, like celebrity photographer.

Paparazzi, oh. Paparazzi, that's funny.

That was real funny, huh?

That's funny! It's funny. It's funny.

It wasn't funny.

Mom, could you pass me the broccoli, please?

Thank you.

Oh!

-Not again! -It's okay, honey.

Sit down. I got it.

It's not as if we can eat the broccoli now.

It's all covered with glass.

I'm sorry, Dad.

Come here. Come here.

It's okay. It's okay.

Hey, you know what?

One of these days, we're gonna go through an entire meal

without dropping or breaking anything. I know it's gonna happen.

Right.

Come on. It's okay. Sit down.

Did you know it's fairly common for baby sharks to attack each other

in the womb?

It's true. We learned it in science.

Stop!

What if everything that's wrong with Eddie is all my fault?

Mom says it's not true, but how does she know?

I mean, I'm the twin who was born first.

Maybe everything would've been different if I'd let Eddie out ahead of me.

My twin brother has a developmental disability.

Now that we're starting high school, I think it would be really cool

if I could find some way to make him more comfortable

and accepted in the world.

If anybody has any ideas on how to help him out,

I'd really appreciate hearing from you. Tru W.

Can you stand it? Billy Meier and I totally connected.

He's, like, the hottest junior ever, and I'm just a lowly freshman,

but he completely stopped to talk to me.

What'd he say?

Hey, kid, is there an assembly today?

Wow.

That proves it. He has to be in love with you.

It means he knows I'm alive.

Hey, guys, I've got the dirt on something you are definitely gonna wanna hear about.

I hope it's not about Billy Meier.

What about Billy Meier?

Nothing. She's delirious.

She has no idea what she's talking about.

She's right. I'm a total buffoon.

Ah! Don't tell me you're in love with that jerk.

I'm not, okay? Do you have news, or don't you?

Well, what'll you give me for it?

Forget it.

Hey, where are you going?

Homeroom's this way.

Come along, Jakey. Forgive him, he's new to the planet.