Run the World

Previously on Run the World...

For your first assignment, you won a trip to cover

Soulja Boy's Legends party tonight.

Anderson? What are you doing here?

I missed you, Ella.

No.

Well, I'm fucking

my thesis advisor and kind of sort of

raising his kid in an undefined relationship,

which makes our communication

about me fake step parenting his daughter

easy and effortless.

You're getting married.

You missed the window for entry.

Well, apparently, I missed the window for everything

because I spent my 20s fucking my college sweetheart

instead of fucking that guy.

That's Chris Cabrera. He's the community peen.

Weddings are so overrated.

Inspiring prenuptial insights from our only married friend.

Ah, shit, I'm about to bust.

Not... yet.

Why not yet?

Wait for it.

Oh, fuck!

Jesus, Renee!

Oh, my bad.

I was just trying to hit a reverse cowgirl.

Ow! What was wrong with regular cowgirl?

Did you have a private call

with Al Roker this morning?

Huh?

You're looking real Hollywood in these Harlem streets.

Oh, Matthew and I had a late night last night,

so it's a sunglasses and Advil kind of morning.

Aw, look at you two having fun.

It's Renee.

Niggers!

Honestly, I can't.

- Ooh! - Oh, oh!

Yeah, the ER's pretty slow for a Saturday,

so I should be able to get outta here

when my shift actually ends.

Hey, your Aunt Feyi is the one

who's hosting us tonight, right?

She's your mom's third youngest sister, correct?

Yes, correct. Impressive.

Well, I've been studying the seating chart.

Babe, I appreciate you making the effort,

but that's not necessary.

No, your family is important to you,

so your family is important to me.

You are important to me.

Aw, so you really like me, huh?

I'm serious, Ola.

I love you very much.

I love you too.

Now, my aunts came a long way to meet and judge you,

- so please be on time. -

I'll be there with bells on.

Well, after dinner, uh,

I wanna ring those bells.

- - Ooh.

Take it off, take it off.

- Take it off. -

- Whitney? - Take it...

I got that research

on the Beyond Burger IPO you wanted.

Ah, I gotta go. I'll see you in a few.

Bye, babe.

- Oh, was that my mans, the Big O? - It was.

I've never been to the wedding for a Nigerian prince before.

Oh, you're not invited.

- And he's not a prince. - You sure?

It's such a princely sounding name.

- Olabisi Adeyemo. - Just don't.

Hey, where's the honeymoon? Wait, don't tell me.

The doctor and the banker go to...

Bora Bora.

- The Maldives. - Boom!

That is straight baller status.

You are, like, never coming back to work, are you?

- Of course I am. - Yeah, right.

The Big O is gonna hit you with the old honeymoon pumps

in a bumps and have you barefoot and pregnant

by the time you cross back over the Atlantic.

I am not getting pregnant, and I am absolutely

- coming back to work. - Okay.

I mean, that's what all the boss chicks say,

and then three months later, they bounce.

Stop being such a sexist moron.

These days, women go back to work much faster.

Just pump and freeze and leave the baby with a nanny.

Great, you're all still here.

Uh, Brett Peters from Eco Cheese just called.

He's in town, and he wants us... Meaning you...

To take him to dinner tonight at one of those vegan places

where they substitute cauliflower for steak.

Uh, George, I have a wedding appointment tonight

- that I cannot... - Oh, I'll do it. Brett loves me.

No, he loves Whitney, so he gets Whitney.

You get to go and learn.

I'm sorry about the wedding stuff.

You got this?

I got it.

G'day, ladies. What can I get you?

We'll take three mimosas.

Three gin martinis, straight up.

Must be a hard morning.

Actually, getting divorced is surprisingly easy.

- Cheers! - Okay.

What did Jason do this time?

Leave black socks on the floor?

No. I kicked him in the head.

- Huh. - Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I'm trying to picture that in my mind,

but the logistics of it are escaping me.

Well, I was fucking him on top,

and I tried to turn around without dismounting,

and I kicked him in the face.

She was born without a filter.

- Was he hurt? - He bruises if you pinch him.

He has yellow undertones.

You could've broken my nose.

I said I'm sorry. Stop acting like a pussy. God.

Well, that's not very Black feminist of you, is it?

Right.

The feminist part of me is supposed to be okay

with supporting you financially while you chase a pipe dream,

but calling you a pussy?

That's off-limits.

I thought you believed in the band.

I do believe in the band.

I don't believe in you quitting your job to manage them.

When we blow up...

I'm not gonna let you take a selfie with us.

Mm-mm.

Where you going?

Renee, I'm-I'm trying here.

- We said we were gonna try. - I just tried.

This...

was me trying.

We don't have to do cowgirl.

We got lazy doggy.

Regular doggy.

There's all different kinds of doggy we could do.

That is a fascinating way to end a marriage.

When did you move to the States?

Who, me?

Well, I've been here for five years already.

I love your accent.

What's your name?

Colin.

No. Sorry, Colin.

We're here for me today. No flirting.

- Why you hating? - How am I hating?

You don't fuck white dudes, so this flirtation

would ultimately go nowhere and only annoy him and me.

- You've never fucked a white guy? - No. You know this.

- Have you? - Yeah.

Do you remember Crew Kid from Emory?

Oh, yeah. Sophomore year.

How was the sex?

It was the same, but fleshier.

- What? - I don't know.

There's something about white guys.

Their skin is just... it's fleshier.

Well, no one's sucking fleshy white dicks today,

so can we please get back to

mourning the end of my marriage?

- Yeah? Let's do that. -

Uh-uh, tell that broad

there's no conference dial in a playtime.

What's her problem?

She's getting divorced.

- Again. - Mm-mm.

Nope.

Where the fuck are you?

Stuck at work.

- It's Saturday! - I know.

We're prepping for this IPO,

and Ola and I have a tasting...

I'm not trying to be mean,

but I don't give a fuck about your wedding today.

Wow, there. Way harsh, Tai.

I'm sorry, but today is

"Renee's getting a divorce" day.

I'll care about your wedding tomorrow.