Clowntergeist

Hey, sweetheart, are you ready?

The doctor's gonna make you feel better, I promise.

I love you.

Stop the car. Stop the car.

Hi, Uncle Ted.

I'm passing through town, I was wondering if I could spend the night.

Yeah, I'd love to see you. I won't be home for a couple of hours...

- ...so when you get there, remember don't... - Don't touch anything, yeah.

I remember.

- Hey, you make it there, okay? - Yeah, but the power just went out so...

Oh, that happens. I'll be home soon to fix it.

No, is there like a breaker or something I can get to?

I just really don't feel like sitting here in the dark.

Yeah, there's one down in the basement at the end of the hall.

Okay.

Oh, God.

Hey, you fix the power?

- Yeah, but I have a question. - Shoot.

I know you said not to touch anything, but I was wondering...

...if I could cover the clown statue that's in the corner of the living room.

- The what? - The clown statue...

...in the corner of the living room. I have this thing with clowns...

Listen to me closely. Get out of the house now.

I'll call the police.

- Wait, why? - We don't have a clown statue.

- Thanks a bunch. - Yeah, no problem.

Your car is loaded.

Thanks, man, right on. It would've taken me forever without you guys.

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, happy to help, so...

- Yeah, really happy. - Yeah.

Well...

- Shoot, I should get going. - Yeah, okay.

- Bye. - Yeah, see ya.

Could you give me a hand with this?

- Thanks, man. - Yeah.

Okay, take care.

Oh, my God.

Thank God she's gone.

She definitely would've stayed all summer if we hadn't helped her move.

- Yeah, helped her move. - Oh, hey, wait, wait, wait.

Who am I?

Hey... sup, hey... hey, what's that smell?

- You. - Right on, dude.

Wait, wait, wait, don't eat the ones living.

Sorry, a lot of anti-matter.

You know what, at least she paid rent.

Yeah, well, finding somebody else to take that room shouldn't be hard.

You might have to find two roommates if I don't pass my classes.

No, no, you're gonna pass. Even if I have to take those classes for you.

You would do that for me?

I'm gonna enjoy having the place to ourselves again.

We should have Jonah over tonight, maybe anyone else who's still in town.

- We could play Twister again. - No, that got weird.

What?

- I can't believe she left this. - I hate clowns, get rid of it.

Burn it, feed it to the dog, I don't care.

Here you go.

- You ready? - Yeah.

Cool, dude, 'cause we're walking.

I'm really sorry, miss, but there's nothing we can do for you.

Right, but I ordered the Grand Canyon sundae...

...and I didn't get the Grand Canyon sundae.

Yeah, well, I'm really sorry but there's no way for us to know that...

...because you already ate the entire thing.

Right, but I ordered the Grand Canyon sundae.

- Thanks. - Enjoy.

Hey, Pops is out front, do we have his order ready?

Yeah, it's over there.

- So I don't know how I feel about this. - What?

Getting special orders for Pops, when you should be helping the customers in the front.

Oh, really?

This is their vacation. It's our job to make it great.

All right, I want to make sure this order is right, where's the box cutter?

- I don't know. - You lost the box cutter?

I know with our luck the health inspector'll probably find it.

Well, whoever finds it, you're gonna be fired.

- I should probably go find that. - Yeah.

Hi, Emma, how are ya?

Good, it's a slow night tonight so I can't complain.

I'm surprised you're still here. I would've thought you'd gone home for the summer.

No, summer classes.

I bet you didn't know how sleepy this town gets once all the college kids go home.

I know, thankfully I have company. Heather and Jonah stayed too.

- Oh, really, that's good. - Yeah.

Here you go, do you have a box cutter? I want to make sure this is the right order.

I do.

Should I be worried that you just carry that around on you?

Yeah, probably.

- Is that right? - That's it...

...50 clownsicles with gumball eyeballs.

- See ya, thanks. - Bye.

I'm gonna be fired before the end of the summer.

Yeah, I could've told you that.

This lady ate all of her ice cream and then tried to tell me that it was the wrong order.

- Was it? - Was it what?

The wrong order.

How am I supposed to know that? She ate the entire thing.

- These customers come in and they think... - Heather, I'm kidding, I'm kidding.

- Wait, are you making her another one? - Yeah.

We should spit in it.

Okay.

- One of these days I'm actually gonna do it. - Yeah, I'll believe it when I see it.

Jonah, I'm gonna need to speak to your manager.

She's not here but she put me in charge.

Listen carefully.

Is that the sheriff?

Maybe he's arresting that customer for you.

Here?

Yes, I'm serious.

Sheriff, are you okay?

I'm fine, just do as I ask, okay?

Yes, sir.

Be safe, okay?

Attention, customers, we're sorry to inform but we have to close early tonight.

We ask that the store be closed in 10 minutes.

Also the local police have issued an 11 o'clock curfew...

...so be sure to get home quickly and safely.

What's the curfew for?

A manhunt.

No way.

Where are we supposed to go?

What's a manhunt?

Look, your best option is to just go home.

Or if you're passing through, go to the next town 60 miles down Highway 24.

This is insane.

And terrifying, did the sheriff say anything else?

A high school girl was found dead about an hour ago.

They're trying to find the guy responsible.

It must've been really bad, the sheriff seemed super freaked.

- Yeah, well, murder is a freaky thing. - And nothing ever happens in this town.

Seriously, if anything they're probably excited to catch an actual criminal...

...not someone going 40 in a 35.

- We're gonna stay closed tomorrow, right? - Not when I'm in charge.

We don't close for the apocalypse. Speaking of which...

...can you close up, kick everyone else out?

- Alone? - Door's 10 feet away.

Hey.

Watch our for murderers.

Okay, so what else did the sheriff say?

Nothing, don't get too excited. It's probably all blown out of proportion.

Oh, man.

Done, and I'm like 90% sure that I saw him outside. So FYI, we're all dying tonight.

Thanks, Dad.

I love you too.

I love you too.

Daddy, I can't eat anymore.

You promised to protect me.

This is all your fault.

This is all your fault.

This is all your fault.

What do you think?

- I like it. - Good. Is it persuasive enough?

Yes, if it were my decision, I'd be swayed.

Okay, good. We're supposed to give a presentation...

...at the board of education tomorrow but I don't know if I want to go anymore.

Heather, it'll be fine.

Besides I heard that serial killers sleep during the day so you're good.

Okay, you're surprisingly cool about all this.

I am, nothing ever happens here, it's kind of exciting.

Now we have detectives running around solving mysteries. I don't know, I think it's cool.

Maybe you should just drop out and join the police academy.

Maybe I will.

Speaking of which, have you heard anything else from the police?

Yeah, they're redirecting tourists to the next town, so work should be pretty easy.

Maybe we should come up with some sort of like serial killer tornado drill.

What?

No, come on, this house is in the middle of nowhere.

- Come on. - Better safe than sorry.

Fine.

Okay, so if one of us sees him, we could say...

- Stranger danger. - Yes, yes.

One of us could shout stranger danger and then run away. But don't come back to save me...

- ...because I am not gonna save you. - Not even in the heat of the moment?

No, in the heat of the moment it's fight or flight.

I think we should leave the fight or flight to Shammy.

Just vicious.

- Oh, yeah, Sammy. - Good girl, yes. Yeah, he'll protect us.

Good girl, Sammy.

Sammy, no licking.

Sammy, stop, no licking.

Heather!

- You're up early. - Call the sheriff.

- Why? - Because I think he was here.

- Who? - The guy that they're looking for...

- ...I think he was here. - Here, right now?

- No, last night in my room. - Slow down, tell me what happened.

Last night there was a man in my bathroom and then when I woke up...

- Wait, wait you woke up? - Yes, yes, and I went into the bathroom...

- ...and then Sammy was... - Okay, where is Sammy now?

He's... he's gone. He's gone. It's all... it's all gone.

Okay, okay, okay, it sounds like you just had a bad dream.

- I'm calling the police. - Wait, Emma.

Why aren't they answering?

- Where's Sammy, have you seen Sammy? - He's probably just scared.

He'll come back, he always comes back, okay?

Okay, it's okay, I'm right here, okay, okay?

Sorry.

- This happens sometimes. - Okay, what happens?

Night terrors, I've had them since I was a kid.

Okay, God, you scared me half to death.