She's Gotta Have It

- Who the fuck is Onyx? - Never heard of him.

In 7th grade, I woke up one morning...

and these tiny mounds were occupying my chest.

I pinched, I poked, but they wouldn't go away.

Overnight, just like that...

life was complicated by a quarter-pound of flesh.

These.

In school, I was tormented...

okay, teased, by Rashaad Decker, a horny little punk half my size,

but his words cut like a knife.

I mean, he could read me raw in seconds and make me feel naked

and ashamed of my body in front of the entire class.

The humiliation was like a dark keloid growing around a wound.

And every day... I would go home in tears.

And every day, my mom would say...

Face him down, Nola. Words can't hurt you. Don't give him your power.

Of course, I know that. I get it. I'm not fuckin' dense.

But today,

I have something to say to Rashaad and all those other bitches.

Watch the fuck out!

God, I feel sick.

- Hey, hey, Nola. - Hm? Hm?

- What? - Don't worry.

I'mma find out who did this. Trust me, I got my ways, ways I got my.

A'ight? A'ight? A'ight?

A'ight.

But keep my name out your mouth, okay? I don't want it out there like that.

And I hope you find him before I do. You got one thing right. This is war.

Just...

I got you.

"Do I have to give up an essential part of my self-expression to survive?"

That's Nola's question.

I don't discuss my patients,

but I'm not violating her confidentiality if I say that...

Well...

My first impressions of Nola Darling?

Insatiable.

And yet, I sense a fragile but vibrant spirit

just hovering beneath all that self-protective armor.

She's juggling a lot. Men, ambitions, emotions.

I'm glad you're here. Let's talk a little

about what you want to accomplish.

I want to...

Breathe. You're carrying a lot of tension in your face. Just...

take a couple deep breaths.

Good.

It's natural to be angry.

You were attacked, not just once but twice.

First your body and then your art.

What happened to you... is unacceptable, and it's not your fault.

So, let's just let go of that, okay?

- I... - Yes?

...feel violated.

Anxious, like I wanna cover up and hide, even from the men in my life.

Okay. Tell me a little about the men in your life.

Oh, God.

Where to start? Um...

They're all really different.

Uh, they feed me in distinct ways.

Sometimes I feel like they're all threatened by my sexuality.

And I'm sick of feeling like I have to make decisions

based on the male gaze.

I'm used to knowing what I want in relationships and in my art,

but, lately, I'm just...

I'm so confused.

When you've been through some sort of trauma,

it's easy to feel like you're losing control of your life.

But talking about it is one way that we start to take back that control.

But here's something to think about.

You can wear full purdah, show only your eyes,

- and men will still harass you. - Ugh.

The solution isn't covering up.

It's-It's finding a way to assert your power

and to move through the world with confidence.

And we can work on that.

But for now, I want you to do something that brings you joy.

Exercise.

Wear something that makes you feel confident.

Try something new.

Something that makes you feel good.

Don't let fear dictate your choices.

And don't forget to breathe.

I thought Fort Greene had a lot of strollers.

- Hello. - Hi.

- Can I help you guys find anything? - Nope. Just looking.

- Pretty. - Ooh! All black.

- Thanks for coming through. - You know me.

You don't need to convince me to shop.

Don't you have something to fold?

I'm just trying to be helpful. The changing room is in the back.

Ooh, I love this color.

- Nice. - Right? So...

I took your advice and started seeing Doc Jamison.

Good. And?

- Mm? - No. So?

I mean, it was great. She really helped redirect my energy.

And today, I just wanna go shopping

and forget about all the crazy shit that's been happening.

Word. This place is cute.

- Thank you. - What about this one?

The suspense is killing me.

- What do you think? - Too much drama.

Um...

I'm channeling Eartha Kitt.

- What is that? - First trimester.

Of a kangaroo. Next.

Wow.

Bang!

- Damn. - I think I'm gonna get it.

Your total is $558.72 with tax.

$558.72? With-With tax? That's with tax. Excuse me.

Excuse me. Jesus Christ, you can hardly afford your rent.

I can't explain it, Clo, but I need this dress.

You're too impulsive. Probably why you keep getting yourself into trouble.

Are you saying it's my fault I got assaulted?

No, I'm just saying that this dress is...

No. No.

Men need to grow up.

If they can't deal with me in a little black dress, then fuck 'em!

Whatever. I'm just saying this dress is too expensive.

- How would you like to pay for this? - Um...

Split it three ways, please.

I thought a nice dinner might cheer you up, and I've been dying to see you.

Come on.

Welcome to The River Café. Please come in.

Thank you.

Ah.

This place is live!

What's live is that black dress, and I can't wait to get you out of it.

- Welcome, Mr. Overstreet. - Thank you.

Let me take you to your table. Follow me, please.

- That black dress... - What's wrong?

Business-casual vibe?

A little variation on the theme.

Don't get me wrong, I love your black dress, but goddamn.

What?

This ain't exactly a nightclub in Miami.

You know what I'm saying?

- Madam, may I take your coat? - Yes.

A waiter will come with the menu. Enjoy.

- Thank you. - Baby, it's a little chilly in here.

Look, uh...

Nola, I'm sorry I've been so crazy.

I'm just not used to, uh...

hangin' around waiting rooms with other dudes.

You know what I'm saying?

I think I've been clear about how I feel about you.

You have and so have I.

Mr. Jamie Overstreet, I am here with you right now, okay?

It's just you, me, and this kickass view.

- What's this? - A gift.

Citizen by Claudia Rankine. I love it, and I want someone to talk to about it.

Truth is, I don't really have many people

in my circle who I think will get it.

Are you clairvoyant?

- I've been meaning to read this. - Well, good.

You're a complicated puzzle, aren't you?

- I like your curiosity. - I like yours too.

- Is that right? - Mm-hm.

I don't see enough of you, Nola Darling. How can we fix that?

Terms of Endearment.

I understand what you're asking, and I'm

trying to take care of my home situation.

No, I'm sorry. I was thinking of classic cinematic moments

that were shot at The River Café.

Terms of Endearment, directed by James L. Brooks?

Ah, it had Shirley MacLaine, Jack Nicholson, and what is her name?

She was young at the time... Oh, Debra Winger!

No, I haven't seen it.

Oh, Jamie, you've gotta see it.

I didn't get to see a lot of old films growing up.

In my house, it was cable TV or clothing. Couldn't afford both.

Let's talk about why you always change the subject

when I ask you a serious question.

- Do I? - Yeah.

I'm sorry.

Well, shit, what was the question?

Yeah, what was the question?

- You're so serious. - Mm.