Real Men

He's dead.

How could something like this happen?

Keep your voice down.

An inside job.

Our own people? CIA?

Would have to be.

This was just a run-through.

What are we gonna do next Friday night?

Pillbox was the one they expected to make the exchange.

It's worse than that.

Whoever killed him got the map.

We have to get that map back.

If our courier isn't in exactly the right spot...

there'll be no exchange.

They'll just keep on going.

What'll we do?

They'll pass the map several times...

before they try to get it to D.C. for the exchange.

We'll have to intercept it.

We'll send in Pirandello.

You're not gonna let him loose.

Why not? He's the best we've got.

He's always one step ahead of everybody else.

He's uncontrollable. He's a wild man.

His methods are totally unpredictable!

I don't care. He'll get the job done.

You got to tell me what you want. Liverwurst?

Here you go, young man. It'll feed the whole family.

...be sure to cook it before you eat it.

...cheese, we got salami, we got turkey...

I'll buy you something if you take one fish.

Here you go.

You, ok? I didn't hurt you, did I?

There you go. Sit down, relax.

Let's talk.

Jesus Christ! You're Nick Pirandello!

You're the guy who went in and took out the Russians' V-47.

Hey, don't make a big thing out of it.

Oh, man, it's an honor to meet you.

All right, now, look, I saw you make the pass...

and I want to know where you're gonna pick up the map.

I think you understand I can't tell you that.

Frankly, no, I don't understand.

I want to be every bit the agent that you are.

That's it, swallow them.

What did I just swallow?

That's the 607 new painful-death kit.

It's an interrogation technique.

You see, the theory behind it is...

is that with that kind of painful death in front of you...

you'll do anything to get the antidote.

Carrot?

What kind of a painful death?

What difference does it make?

You're tough! You're not gonna talk!

You're not gonna let me die some horrible death, are you?

Sure I am!

We're both Americans!

Well, you got about another minute before you die.

Here. You might want to lay down.

It'll make it much easier on you.

Easier?

You're right! Probably not.

Forget what I said. So, anyway--

All right, all right!

I'm supposed to go to the Hideaway Hotel, room 505.

Ok.

Hey! What about the antidote?

What antidote?

The poison!

What poison? It was your button.

Russians!

Go this way. Surround him.

Keep your voice down.

You've done your country a great service.

Would you like me to do it again?

Maybe later.

Nick, did you get the map?

Yeah, I got the map.

I'm with them.

We've got the map, and you'll never get it back.

Henderson was with them.

Yeah. He didn't get the map.

What was that?

It was a message telling them to give up.

I know who their leaders are.

Who are their leaders?

I don't know.

Ok, Nick. Tell you what we do now.

Part of the agency has broken off. They want--

The big gun.

Yeah. And they've got--

Most of the agency, the boys in the street...

budget, personnel, support in the state.

There's more.

The Russians are onto it.

That's right, Nick!

Now, we can't let this happen. Here.

Look at this.

Looks like Pillbox.

How did you know it wasn't Pillbox?

There's a certain weakness in the eyes.

He's a look-alike. The computer pulled him.

Looks like a paper-pusher.

Yeah. In an insurance company.

Nick, they're expecting Pillbox...

and it's too late for us to switch him...

with someone else now.

We need somebody to escort him.

You've been in touch with him...

so you know how important this thing is.

His name's Bob Wilson.

We want you to get him to Washington...

by Friday for the 8:00 rendezvous.

-You want me to train him? -No.

You're pulling him out of his environment, Nick.

That can be a big strain on him.

Guys like this get pretty confused...

when they find out what's really going on.

Nick, watch out for him. Circle back for him.

Baby him along a little. Build up his confidence.

You want me to be sensitive to this guy's feelings?

And his life, yeah.

Promise me you'll try?

I'll try.

What kind of guy is he?

Average...

maybe a little less.

What is it?

Bob, those kids that hang around the MacGruders' garage...

they yelled terrible things at Heather...

when she came home from school.

You know what they said to me, Dad?

Bobby's new bike is missing.

They stole it, Dad.

You don't know that, son.

You can't go around making accusations you can't prove.

I think you should go down there and talk to them.

Yeah, Dad. Go down there and kick their butts.

We're civilized people, Bobby. We don't kick people's butts.

Pump up, pretty boy.

Hi, guys.

You haven't seen a two-wheel bicycle...

that belongs to my son Bobby, have you?

No. Your kid lost his bike, or what?

Yeah, it disappeared.

I thought it might be down here.

That pink one right over there looks a lot like his.

No. That's Oaf's bike.

-Oaf? -Yeah.

Looks a little small for Oaf, don't you think?

Well, Oaf likes a small bike.

But listen, your kid lost his bike?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, Oaf's got this new bike.

You need a bike, we got a bike we don't need.

You want me to ask Oaf if he'll sell you the bike?

Well, that's very nice of you...

but why don't I just check the serial number...

and make sure that's not Bobby's bike.

Yeah, well, I can't let you do that.

You see, the paint's not dry yet...

but I'll tell you what.

I can see you got a real hard-on about this bike.

Why don't you just give me $250...

and I'll get Oaf to give you the bike.

Ok, that's it! Hand over the bike!

Hey, what's that?

God!

Guy bashed right into me.

You bumped right into Oaf.

Let me give you a hand there.

That was good.

That thing with the cabinets, it was terrific.

Nick Pirandello, CIA.

And you're...

Bob Wilson, right?

You know, while I was looking around...

for something to work with--

I hope you don't mind me using...

some of your stuff--

anyway, I came across the letters...

you wrote your wife before you were married.

You're beautiful, Bob.

Some of the sentiments blew me away.

One question, though--

what was that thing that she did in Santa Barbara...

that you keep pleading with her to do again?

Bet it felt pretty good, huh, Bob?

What do you want?

The point is, Bob, I think we'd make a great team.

You don't mind me working while we talk, do you?

I'm under a little time pressure here.

I can see you're a sensitive guy.

You know what?

I've never even been to college.

And you never will--

unless you apply yourself.

They've got application forms.

You're gonna have to fill one out.