Top Gear

Thank you. Hello, welcome to Top Gear.

It's the last show of the series but don't worry,

because we're going out with a bang.

Time to get your nostalgia pants on

because you're in for a tasty treat.

Yes, we're doing ice cream vans - heroes of the British road.

Trust me - it's going to be fab.

Where were you?

Where were you?

Right where he should have been.

Yes, the ice cream van, keeping our kids cool and our dentists

busy for the last 70 years, but tragically they're dying out.

Give them the stats, oracle.

Back in the '70s, there were tens of thousands of ice cream vans

on British roads.

Today, barely 2,000.

There's nothing you don't know. This is fantastic.

Well, apart from fashion!

It seems the classic ice cream van is just too polluting, too slow

and not attention-grabbing enough for our busy modern lifestyles.

Time, then, for another McGuinness masterpiece.

To show off the future of mobile chilled refreshment,

I told Harris and Flintoff

to meet me in the ice cream van's spiritual home

Blackpool.

Am I just not seeing it at its best?

You can see it better if the sun's out and it's a bit warmer,

but this is it. And you love it, don't you? This is all its glory.

Whenever I say the word "Blackpool" your face lights up

and I see you transported back to your childhood.

Yeah, remember, because I didn't get on an aeroplane until I was 15.

This was our holidays - Blackpool, Morecambe, Southport.

Was it day trips or would you come and stay up here?

I wouldn't stay over. We were only 20 minutes away.

We're not made of money, Chris. Bloody hell!

Gentlemen!

Yes! Wow!

Mr Nippy.

Cold As Ice

by M.O.P.

It's a monster truck that's an ice cream van!

Best one yet. Best one yet.

That is remarkable.

ICE to see you, to see you...

ICE! Yes! Welcome

to Mr Nippy, the ice cream van for the 21st century, boys.

What did you hear when I come round?

It's electric. It's silent.

Zero emissions.

What's the biggest enemy of the ice cream van?

Diabetes. No.

The council.

Local councils don't want yous parked up outside a school

churning out exhaust fumes. This thing, zero emissions.

Greenpeace absolutely love this.

Why are you dressed as a butcher?

Cast your eyes down there.

It cleans as it goes!

Hey, lads,

what can I get you? I've got you your own cones, lads. Yes!

Do you want a Freddie?

I'm not happy about this at all.

What, the little Chris?

That's right - genius.

And better still...

There's a Flintoff.

Mr Nippy...

Chris, there's the Harris.

Was just getting...

You are such a dick... warmed up.

Gentlemen, what's the biggest enemy of the ice cream van?

Winter. No-one wants a Calippo when there's snow on the ground.

That's where Mr Nippy comes into its own.

All year round ice cream on this. Do you want a couple of Winter Warmers?

Yeah, go on.

It takes a bit of time.

What is this?

But it'll be all worth it.

Would you like a Flake in that, sir?

Mash?

Would you like some squirty gravy?

Sprinkles? What...?

Voila.

The Winter Warmer.

My mind is blown.

That, that... All year round.

That is a revolution.

They'll be coming out middle of winter.

"What's the ice cream van doing?"

That's what it's doing - mash cones, sausage Flake,

pea sprinkles, squirty gravy. You have altered seaside dining forever.

Never mind that, Paddy, my hands are empty. Sorry, Fred.

Sprinkles? Yes, PEAS!

Let's face it - the boys had been won over.

Do you want to hop on board Mr Nippy? Yeah.

And with two new recruits for the Mr Nippy team now fully on board...

Uniforms. What?

Are we working? Here we go.

It was time for us all to head off along the seafront...

Get your hands off my Flakes!

And give the good

people of Blackpool their first taste...

of the future.

Whoa!

Hey! Here we go.

Two Tesla batteries, up to 33.5 seconds.

That is totally unnecessary for this type of vehicle.

I've got to be careful - it's a bit high sided.

I'm going to end up on my back here.

Now, impressive performance is one thing,

but what an ice cream van really needs to do...

Hello, everyone!

Is draw a crowd.

Do you know what the biggest enemy of the ice cream van is?

Jamie Oliver. No.

Double glazing. Why?

When you're a kid, you'd sit in your house,

the ice cream van would come along, had the chimes on,

you'd hear it because your windows were paper thin.

Now, double glazing, Everest have killed the ice cream game off.

But I've even thought of that. Get onto this.

Booming the new ice cream tune. You'll hear that from miles around.

The kids will come flocking.

You've got a bit of butcher about you there, Paddy. No, you see...

It's a bit butcher. This is what's happened over the years.

The image of the ice cream seller

has been sanitised and watered down.

This is tradition. This is what they wore back in the day. Really?

What, if they were a butcher?

Clearly the new recruits had a lot to learn, but,

despite the weather, the dubstep Greensleeves had drawn the crowds...

They're all chomping at the bit to get a bit of Mr Nippy.

And that meant

it was time to start slinging the white stuff.

Get the ice cream ready,

because I've got a lovely little social distancing tool.

OK.

Just stand over there, sir.

Coming round.

I tell you what - this is working a treat, boys!

Yay!

There you go, that's your Chris.

What would you like? A Freddie. A Freddie? There we go.

Flake? Do you want some insulin with this?

Suffice to say, Mr Nippy was a game changer.

Do you think he's dressed like a butcher?

This is a traditional ice cream seller's outfit.

And the good people of Blackers...

You caught that better than Flintoff!

Had been blown away.

See you later!

Before McGuinness could declare Mr Nippy a complete success, though

it turned out the producers still needed some convincing

because they told us to leave the locals alone

and instead report to a nearby airfield...

Where we'd be tested against a much-loved benchmark.

I spot a classic up here, boys.

A Whitby Morrison Amalfi. Iconic.

You can tell it's a good 'un when it says, "Stop, mind that child."

Challenge.

"So, you think you've built a better ice cream van."

"Time to take on the best in the business"

"around the state-of-the-art Top Gear ice cream van test facility."

So, I guess one of you two are going to be driving that.

Yeah, I'm in. Get in, yeah.

He's done a bit of this, hasn't he?

Chip van round the UK. I'm a bit worried, Paddy.

I think you've got your work cut out here, lad. Well... Mercedes.

It'll have all the mod cons, this.

Paddy, look at it. Look at it.

Whoa. She's plush. It is plush.

Remember, Mr Nippy's a prototype so don't be going mad

because I'll roll it.

Right.

Strap on. That sounds wrong.

To prove it had what it takes, Mr Nippy would now

take on Whitby Morrison's finest around a tricky handling

course laid out across Blackpool Airport's fire training area.

Each van would have to serve three pristine 99 ice creams

to three very hot firefighters

before sprinting back to complete

the lap, and it was over to Flintoff

in the Amalfi to lay down the benchmark time.

Are you all set, Fred? All good.

Get them ice creams to the firefighters before they melt.

Three, two, one, go!

Come on. I've got my foot on the floor.

I tell you what - not the fastest of take-offs.

He's got to look after the ice cream.

My word.

It's a bit bumpy.

Bouncing around. Paddy's going to have his work cut out here.

Whoa! Whoa!

Geez, it's all going up in the back.

There's no way Mr Nippy's getting round them bends in one piece.

Bloomin' heck, it's a U-turn.

Spin it, spin it, spin it.

Come on.

Look at that for a turning circle from the Mercedes.

Big fire, big fire. Bloody hell, lads.