Hi-Jack Highway (Gas-oil)

Go on, come in.

Whew, it's cold.

I'd rather still be in bed.

We had a frost last night. In June. Can you believe it?

It's simple. There are no more seasons.

- And you know why? - Because of flying saucers messing things up.

- Exactly. How do you know? - 'Cause you've told me before.

The stuff you come up with.

That's Pierrot starting up the Renault.

- You're leaving full? - With 10 tons of cables.

- The kid's going to be in a mood... - Why?

I was rushing to make coffee and I dropped the pot.

All the same, not a real loss.

- Hi, Jean. - Hi, Pierrot.

- Have you had coffee? - Oh, coffee...

- Why don't you ask him? - Ask him what?

- Ask him who dropped the pot and ran out? - Oh, what a fuss.

- Help yourself. - Thanks.

You have to hand it to him. There's no way to have coffee at our place in the morning.

Why?

- Because of the old man's nerves. - A fuss!

And then he runs out, and I get yelled at by mother.

- She's up? - You think?

With the racket you made going out.

- Here. - Thanks.

You're lucky, Pierrot. I'd love to go play the young man about Paris.

Don't go play young man with the Renault. You know the gears can't take it.

You hear him?

I hate to break up the touching farewell but Paris is 500 kilometers away.

No, thanks.

- What time is it? - 9:20.

We're in good shape. We'll be in Paris by 5:00.

- Wow, it really hums. - Yes.

Another 2000 kilometers and it's fully broken in.

I'd be happier if it would be fully paid for.

This is more expensive than a kept woman.

I suppose it's not as much of a pain, but still.

Damn, it's hot. Roll down your window.

What the hell's the matter with you?

Get a move on. If we have to go load up in Courbevoie, well they close at 7:00.

- Give us a hand then. - I can't. I have to go get something for Alice.

- He didn't go back home. - He double-crossed us.

It's very simple. We'll make just like cops.

We'll track down his wife.

Gangsters make off with 50 millions, killing drivers in broad daylight.

Pierrot, we have to go.

What a joker, that Félix! Sending us for nothing to Courbevoie and making us return empty.

- A great trip. Out of my own pockets. - With your rig, it's still pleasant.

If you find it so pleasant, I can lend it to you on Sundays.

- What's the matter? - It's just overheating.

- You don't need me? - No, it's okay. I'm taking off.

- Okay, bye. - Thanks, man.

Damn, I forgot my keys.

Marcel, I'll take 3 pounds of stew for tomorrow.

- With ribs and some skirt steak. - Just the way I like it.

- Hi everyone. - Hi.

Hi, Chape.

Hi, Morane.

- Hi, Emile. - Hi, Jean. I have a message from Félix.

Oh, Félix!

- Mauricette, can we get the bill? - Monsieur Chape.

Pierrot isn't with you? Didn't you go up to Paris together?

Yes, but he got taken.

- You scamp! - So, Mauricette,

do we have to tickle you to get this bill?

You see them? What do I look like?

What did you have?

Hi, M. Chape.

Say, Lucienne, can you ask your boss to make me a sandwich?

Always hungry.

Driving does work up the appetite. Just like making love.

Making love really starves me.

Some have to smoke afterwards. Me, I have to eat.

How many meals a day does this condition drive you to?

You're awfully curious.

Not that you care, but I still have that message from Félix.

He should try putting in some work.

He sends us off to Courbevoie to pick up a load of paper. We get there, and nothing.

So where Félix is concerned...

Now, it's 6 in the morning at Bertier's to pick up endives.

He knows I hate small jobs.

- How about a quick drink? - No, thanks.

- One quick Calvados? - Nope.

- Because of your liver? - No, for my skin.

Cucumber slices on the cheeks, and no alcohol. I read it in Marie Claire .

Here's your sandwich. The boss says the stale bread is easier to digest.

- Oh no, your wife gave me sausage again. - You don't like it?

She's known it for 20 years.

Me, for 20 years, I've been telling her that wool gives me an itch. And look...

Your wife can be a pain in your ass, not mine...

Oh, shut up, I should be jealous.

Give her my best anyway. Pierrot, you want a lift?

No, I'm staying.

- Bye, everyone. - See you, Jean.

Happy Birthday to Mademoiselle...

That's clever.

Happy Birthday.

Not clever, but not mean. I'd even say, very nice.

It's not your style to wish happy birthdays, especially mine.

- You cheat. - What?

You saw the blackboard.

Here's the proof.

- Forgive me. - I can do better.

Come here.

Wait, let me close the curtains. They saw you arrive. That's enough.

When your truck spends the night outside, you should see how the women look at me.

- What could they be jealous of? - Hey, watch it.

Okay, turn on the lights.

Shit!

My fault. I should have warned you.

It's a new chest. Nice, no?

More than that, it's well placed.

- Forgive me. Here, all better. - Better, better...

I didn't even ask you what it was. Wait. Let me guess.

- Candied fruits. - No.

- A scarf? - No.

- Is it in the area of clothing? - Yes and no. More yes.

"The Wolf and the Lamb"

"A lamb was quenching its thirst In the water of a pure stream."

"The Farm. At dawn, the rooster crowed in the valley.

"The plowboy hummed."

Say, they don't write so badly, your little kids.

- I disagree. - I said that to make you happy.

Good thing you closed the curtains.

You don't often give presents, but when you do...

you do it in style.

I think it's lovely.

- Why are you smiling? - No reason?

Instead of staying in this godforsaken place, if you came home with me...

Well?

- Well, I'd eat better. - I love your romantic, poetic side.

You're full of mysteries.

Kidding aside, I wonder why you stay here.

Don't tell me the kids couldn't find someone else to help them graduate.

You'd come live at my place. And in 2 years, I'd give up driving.

I'd let others take the wheel.

And 2 years later, you'd blame me for making you stop.

Of course, the prospect of living with me...

I wouldn't hesitate to live with you. And you know it.

Except you won't be there very often. And when you're there, we'll never be alone.

What about your buddies? I know them well.

I'd be living between two extremes, a full house or an empty house.

The restaurant or the waiting room.

- You're never happy. - Oh, but I'm very happy as I am.

I'd be even happier if I saw you more often.

No, take this one. It's riper.

- Not true. - It is.

Not the apple. I'm talking about you.

It's untrue to say you're happy.

You'd be the first woman ever to be happy.

No, the lady is well educated.

The lady wants to retain her independence. The lady is modern.

- Is that all? - Once upon a time, women stayed home.

They cooked, cleaned, ironed and washed the dishes.

Nowadays, they vote and read pulp fiction.

- End result... - End result?

End result: they buy apples that are either unripe or rotten.

- I don't want your apples. - Leave them.

To think that instead of husband, I took a lover for fun.

I say that sin doesn't pay.

You haven't always said that.

I'll return it and bring back another one a size smaller.

What an idea. I'll fix it myself, and well too.

We modern women...

Is your alarm clock always late?

Perfect. On top of everything, he's waking me up at dawn.

I have to go pick up endives at 5:00.

At 5:00? That's just great.

Not so young, piggish, rude, grouchy,

and always wandering off...

- I wonder why I love you. - Because I'm handsome.

- Handsome, even in the dark. - You idiot.

- What is it? - It's me.

I'm coming.

Damn it.

- What's the matter? - A tough break.

What?

There was a guy lying down in the road right after a curve.

I didn't have time to break. I ran right over him.

I don't know if he had some kind of attack or if it was me, but he's dead.

- You're soaked. Some hot coffee? - No.

But if he was in the middle of the road, you're not responsible.

Not responsible... Gee, you're swell.

- What do the police say? - What do you mean?

- You didn't go to the police? - No.

I'm glad you came here, but you have to go see them.

They'll want to know where I came from.

Then everyone will know I was coming from your place.

They already know. Thanks for thinking of that.

- Go now. - What a thing to have happened.

Shit.

"So I exited the vehicle to bring first aid to the victim.

"That's when I noticed he was dead." Confirmed and signed.

- You can go take a rest. - Thank you.

Gentlemen.

What about me?

- You? - Yes.

These men from the DA's office want to ask you some questions.

It will be useful for the report, just to confirm everything.

- Still not finished? - Eh...