Still the King

Thank you, BMW. Code 387. Good night!

Oh, man, great crowd tonight.

That my peanut butter-bacon-n-banana?

- Yes, sir. - Thank ya.

Thank ya very much. If you need me, I'll be in my office.

Okay...

Vernon, great news! Zelvis has left the building...

on a gurney... because he's dead!

How'd he go?

Booze? Pills? Buffet?

He had a heart attack on the can.

Oh, man, even in death he was channeling the king.

He truly is the best.

Was the best. Now that throne is vacated.

Pun totally intended. It is time for a new king!

Aw, come on, man! His body's not even cold yet.

Vernon, mourning is for losers and poor people.

I mean, how many years you come in second place to Zelvis...

at the Annual Western Southeastern Elvis Classic?

Every single one of 'em.

That's right.

Whoo! All right, buddy.

This is only gonna take a second.

Oh... excuse me, young lady, is your mother home?

What is all this?

I'll have you know that you're looking at the soon-to-be...

Western Southeastern Elvis Classic champion.

I'm not real sure what I'm looking at.

Anyway, is Charlotte here? I was gonna see if she wanted to go...

watch her old man claim the prize.

Oh, man, I'm sorry, she's gonna have to miss that one.

You know, this is... this is some nice dazzling work.

Are you seriously gonna wear this boring, old cape?

There's no bling on it at all.

Well, I'll have you know this cape has entertained...

tens of hundreds of people...

and there ain't been no complaints yet.

You really wanna win this Elvis thing?

Yeah, I do.

So... I'm confused.

This Starman guy wants you to cross state lines...

violate your probation, just for an Elvis contest?

$1,000 grand prize.

Minus Starman's cut, of course.

What do you mean by his cut?

23.7%. Industry standard.

I don't know, it just sounds shady to me.

Yeah, well, why don't you take off your judge's robe...

and get me on down to the competition.

I think I'm gonna take a little nap on the way.

All right, just still not sure it's worth it.

Hey! Elvis is always worth it.

It's calling out my name

Ringin' in my ears

We even hit the beat We hit the beat

How do I look?

Subtle... I think Asher will dig it.

I haven't been this nervous since the first time...

my parents made me geld their horses.

This is your year, Vernon!

You got that right, Grady.

Smell that, Walt?

Yeah, it smells like a mixture of unfiltered cigarettes...

Aqua Velva and desperation.

Yep! That's the scent of the American Dream you're smelling.

Doth mine eyes deceive me, or am I in the presence of royalty?

Lookin' sharp there, Starman. I'm diggin' the jacket.

That's 100 percent pure garter snake. Go on, touch it.

I was not expecting an entourage, hm. Who's this dude?

That's my good friend, Walt.

Name's Starman...

because I turn men... into stars.

My name's Walter, because that's what my parents named me.

And what is it that you do, exactly? Walter?

Uh, you know, this and that.

Fascinating.

Vernon, I'm gonna sign you in and grab your credentials.

You just keep those eyes on the prize.

Well, maybe they can't hear us.

- Come on! - Mabel!

Okay, cut! Guys, cut!

- Cut! - What?

Cut the music, Val! Val!

I'm trying! I'm trying!

I swear to God! I'm trying!

Great! Now we have to do it all over again.

Sorry, the door was open.

Just because a door is open...

doesn't mean you have to walk through it.

Hold on, that's an epic lyric.

Hey, Charlotte, Mabel.

Hey... um, we had an interview for today?

Uh, now is really not a good time.

In case you didn't notice...

we're in the middle of filming a kick-ass music video.

Asher, man, we promised her an interview.

Dallas, if we're gonna be taken seriously, we need a video.

Name one successful band that doesn't have one.

Uh, all of them before 1981.

Fine, we can try to fit it in.

Your makeup, it's... unusual.

I can use you.

You can use me.

Come on.

Hello?

Hello? I was just gonna pop by for an impromptu pizza party...

with my favorite parolee, is he around?

Oh, afraid not. He was doing such a good job around here...

I gave him the weekend off.

He said something about driving down to Tunica for the weekend.

Tunica... Mississippi?

Yup, unless they moved it.

He crossed state lines. And even worse, he didn't invite me.

I guess it was '06...

me and the assistant manager had words...

after I went on a bender and trashed my room.

He smashed my head into that table right there.

A few years later, I was ejected out that exit right there...

after I was over-served and urinated in that potted plant.

Yeah, and then 2012, me and a certain cocktail waitress...

spent a few romantic minutes right there behind the bar.

Good times.

Oh, yeah, man, Tunica is truly a magical place.

Oh, hell now, that's a recipe for disaster right there, man.

Elvis Tribute Artists and Johnny Cash impersonators...

despise each other. Why?

I don't know, man, it's like the Hatfields and McCoys...

North against the South...

Kanye and Taylor Swift.

Historians just don't know.

Want to go find a Cash to harass?

- Yeah. - Let's go.

Ooh, this is gonna be fun, man.

They probably gonna run and hide...

when they see us coming through here.

- Uh-oh! - Whoa, that's a lot of cashes.

Yep.

Vernon, its been way too long.

Ah... good to see you, Uncle Wayne!

Whoo! Looks like you're still slummin' it.

Oh, my God, this is your uncle?

Yeah, the man practically raised me.

If it weren't for me, the kid would never have grown up...

to be the upstanding gentleman he is.

Right.

How do you feel about hittin' the buffet, we'll get drunk...

and catch up on old times.

You had me at drunk. Come on, buddy!

Ooh, man, it's good to see you, Uncle Wayne.

Walt, you comin'?

I'll catch up with ya in a bit. I wanna check something out.

Baby you say we are broken

Yeah we need a love tool kit

But just because a door is open

Doesn't mean doesn't mean you walk through it

Wow, that was really, really good.

I know, I wrote it.

I hate to interrupt, but, um...

could I just ask you a few questions, then you...

Yeah, now is not really a good time.

I'm like... I'm like overflowing with creative juices.

It's not a good time. All right, listen up, dudes!

I got some epic ideas on how to make sure this video goes viral.

I just need a few minutes to be alone with my thoughts.

All right, now get out of my way.

Stop looking at me.

That's "soon-to-be-king" Vernon Brown's entry form...

and you're welcome.

Hello, Starman, it truly is a small world after all.

Santino Trillions.

Loretta, would you and Lowercase E mind giving us a moment?

I had a little run in with your mother the other day.

Her hair smelled delightful as always.

Nice try, Trillions...

but we both know that you did not smell my mother's hair...

because you'd only come up to here on...

Nice try gettin' in my head, Trillions.

I heard you're managing Vernon Brown, the odds-on favorite.