Three Inches

My name is Walter Spackman

26 years old.

I ran out of money, so I had to move back home.

And I'm currently washing dogs

until I save up enough money to move out.

But the thing is, I buried the headline.

'Cause in about two seconds everything is gonna change.

Whoa, that's so...

10, 9, 8...

Rise and shine, my little boomerang!

Up and at 'em

6, 5...

He who hesitates is brunch.

3, 2...

Lily.

All work and no play makes Jack my first husband.

If at first you don't succeed, you're a spackman.

Hey!

Walter, don't do it. It's a death trap.

Lily's back visiting her dad.

I can tell by the way the air shimmers.

Also... she texted me.

Ok, he doesn't listen to a word I say.

I appreciate your concern and I know you care about me...

I care enough about you to murder anyone that hurts you,

if that's what you mean by caring.

I'm gonna be late for work.

Walter, you're too old for me

to lock up in the basement,

but you're too young to know that dreams are just lies

that we tell ourselves while we're asleep.

I should have told her when we were 10

and she hated her braces.

I should have told her when we were 12

and she placed third in the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

I could spell "laodicean" in my sleep.

I should have told her when we were 16

and she blew out her knee in Kitzbuhel.

I should have told her when we were 20

and she left Chicago to build the hospitals in Kenya.

Yeah, like that's a big thing.

Today I am finally going to tell Lily Theroux

exactly how I feel.

I'm gonna put the right words in the right order

like a magic spell, and when I do,

everything will be different than it was before.

I'll be different, too.

Walter? Walter.

Hearts don't break like legs break.

The pieces never really mend.

Wait, Walter!

Eat your toast!

Dude.

Last poodle of the day?

It's not a poodle.

Give me 10 minutes.

All right.

Bedroom and practice room. What's practice room?

It's like a room that's too big to call a closet

but too small to call a bedroom...

Lucky for me I don't own anything bigger than a toaster.

Yeah, Joey Katz...

The guy who repeat fainted in Mr. Danforth's bio class? Right.

His sister lives there.

Everything works, the landlord's decent,

so we can go check it out tomorrow if you want.

I got the day off at the restaurant.

You still on prep?

Screw up once * and they think you don't know the difference

between a fork and a spoon.

I'm a lil cook, man. Chopping lettuce is beneath me.

Lucky lounge tonight.

Everybody's going.

Katie burns asked me if you'd be there.

Ever wonder where courage comes from? - Beer.

The subgenual anterior cingulate cortex.

Increased activity in the cortex is what makes you brave.

Lily's back in town.

How could you tell?

I'll see you tomorrow, Walter.

Lily.

Walter!

I can't believe your mom still has this old car.

Yeah, the engine runs on anger and wishful thinking.

Good gas mileage, too.

Do you remember the minivan of sorrow?

My dad used to take me on those father/daughter road trips

to crooked lake,

where they have the... the... the tents with the fur. *

And... and he'd make a fire, roast marshmallows,

and pretend my mom wasn't dating

the strength coach for the bear

and then he threw all her shoes on the front lawn

and listen the "Phantom of the Opera" for three months.

So bad!

You look good.

Thanks. So do you.

Thank you.

You still washing dogs?

9:00 to 5:00.

So, record-store clerk... - Hu

video-store clerk, bookstore clerk.

The digital revolution kill my clerk work.

Process server... Lasted one day.

Game-show contestant...

Locked up in the bonus round.

Bread-truck driver.

Nothing beats the smell of fresh-baked bad.

All I'm saying...

Is what you always say.

That you could do so much better if you just wanted to.

Not that there's anything wrong with grooming pets.

It's all a part of my 10-year plan.

Finding a way to live in the world

that makes sense takes time,

that's mean I don't find it.

Besides... everything's about to change.

Really? Walter that's great. How?

I have a special surprise for you.

Just a little bit further.

Okay.

How did this happen?

Me.

Thank you for my special surprise.

That's not the surprise. No?

Lily...

it took me a long time

to understand that my life had a purpose.

Is this a part of your 10-year plan? If it's okay with you,

it's probably better if there's no more interruptions.

This is the kind of thing I just gotta get out in one piece.

Right, sorry. Continue.

Lily, it took me a long time

to understand that my life had a purpose.

But once I did, I realize that you was always there,

waiting for me to see it and... And to recognize its value.

I believe that my purpose in life is to make you happy.

I think it's something I'd be really good at.

And not because I've studied for it

or because there's a written manual.

I'll be good at it because that's why my heart was made.

I love you the first day you moved in next door.

I loved you 7th grade when you wore that same

"Dexter's laboratory" t-shirt for a year.

I loved you in high school when you dated Bruce Butterworth

and didn't hang out like we used to.

I loved you when you went away to change the world.

I love you now even more than all those other times.

It's the best thing I do.

I never told you this

'cause I was afraid of what you'd think.

But if I never told you, how would you know?

I'm not afraid anymore.

It's important to me that you know

and now you do.

The end.

That's the most beautiful thing anybody's ever said to me.

I practiced in my spare time.

But...

But?

When I'm away on a project or in another country,

or maybe something that feels like this amazing adventure,

you're the first person I want to call and tell about it...

Because you're my best friend.

And I know that what you said was really hard

and brave and important.

I don't feel the same way you do.

I wish that I did.

Are you okay?

I'm fine, thanks.

Would it be better if I pretended like this never happened?

You can remember if you want

I'm pretty sure I will.

Maybe this is the kind of thing

that will make our friendship stronger...

You know, more durable.

Spun polyester is very durable.

The open weave reduces fabric stress.

Come on, Walter! Come on!

I think I'm just gonna sit here

for a little while if you don't mind.

- I don't think it's such a good idea. - Go away!

Please.

That is so cool.

Nurse administrator,

call cardiac care unit.

Nurse admin, all C.C.U.

On average, lightning strikes the earth

about 100 times every second.

But your chances of getting hit by lightning

while sitting on a sofa with a broken heart...

1 in 280,000.

Walter?

First, I had this really funny joke

prepared about Lily and lightning,

but it doesn't seem so funny now

with you lying here all scrambled.

And second, the Doctor...

Said there's no real reason for you not to snap out of this.

Okay? No particular reason at all.