Mrs. America

In observance of International Women's Year

here in the United States,

I have signed an executive order,

creating a national commission to honor women

and urge ratification of the Equal Rights Amendment.

I am appointing Jill Ruckelshaus as chairwoman of the commission.

- - Thank you, Mr. President.

I will get those last five states, sir.

Four. I just called Senator Kretschmar this morning,

and he confirmed.

You see? Your wife is my secret weapon.

She just tipped the scales in North Dakota.

Well, you should be up front and center, Jill.

Who better to prove that "feminism" isn't a dirty word

than a Midwestern married mom of five?

You're as American as apple pie.

Thank you, Betty.

Pretty big promotion.

And yet unpaid.

- _ -

- _ - Abort the ERA,

- _ - Betty Ford, get off the phone!

- _ - Abort the ERA...

- Abort the ERA! -

Betty Ford, get off the phone!

Abort the ERA! Betty Ford...

You might ask yourself what kind of self-respecting woman

pickets the First Lady of her own party?

... would see abortion-on-demand

mandated at all hospitals.

The, uh, proponents, uh, see as an unfair, uh, burden

on the mothers that they have to take care of their babies.

What about popular opinions of people being for the ERA?

Well, the real poll is the ballot box.

Most American women don't want this.

They... They know it's a fraud,

and all it would do would be to allow...

We can go.

["A FIFTH OF BEETHOVEN" BY WALTER MURPHY PLAYING]

We are mothers and daughters.

We are married, single, widowed, divorced.

We are homemakers and career women...

You know, not a single leader of any anti-ERA

or pro-life organization is represented...

- on her presidential commission. Shh!

... to present the Women of the Year Award

- to nine courageous talented women. - She is not fooling anyone

in those pearls.

She does have a nice smile.

- Hmm. - ...who has indicated many...

Five more minutes, Anne.

But "Fifth Dimension" is coming on.

- I fixed him one. - Oh.

...opportunity for women.

- Oh. - And I know I speak

- for the president... - Mother?

Come on. Let's go upstairs.

I'll be up in a minute to tuck you in.

... politicians that...

Between her and Nelson Rockefeller,

there's no place for us.

The Republican Party's in peril.

What happened to all that talk at CPAC

about breaking off and forming a national Conservative Party?

Oh, Reagan won't run on a third-party ticket.

He thinks he can beat Ford.

No, he doesn't have the numbers.

... week after week in our polls...

I'm counting 58.

Which brings us close to 10,000.

Now our mailing list has barely budged in 12 months.

We need to double it by this time next year.

- Double it? - It has taken us four years

just to get this big.

Well, NOW has over 40,000 members and growing.

Who cares? We're winning.

Only North Dakota ratified this year.

Yes, but they only need four more.

Now the feminists control both houses,

the liberal media, and Jill Ruckelshaus

has the First Lady shilling for them.

They're everywhere. Now and we only had

30 show up in D.C. to picket.

Now does that sound like winning to you?

I need help drawing a map of Sherman's March.

- Uh, can... - I have called every woman

I have ever met in my entire life,

even the ones I can't stand.

There are three teas I'm dreading attending.

There is no one left to call.

We're going to make a big splash

in the convention.

We're gonna have to start recruiting women who are not

active in politics.

If they aren't active, how are we going to find them?

Why do we have to make a big splash at the convention?

Because the country thinks Jill Ruckelshaus

is the face of the Republican Party.

STOP ERA. Rosemary speaking.

Oh, hello, Kevin. Yes.

- Tell him I've left. - No. She's...

on her way home... to you.

- - Marriage takes work.

You should hear how he talks to her.

He has a temper.

We all have problems.

She needs to learn to manage him.

I saw Bella backstage.

First words out of her mouth...

"When are you gonna testify for my bill?"

No "How are you?" No "Nice dress."

Oh, it is a very nice dress.

She completely disregards the fact

that her bill is duplicating the work

my commission's already doing.

Bella bosses everybody around.

She bossed me around when I headed the EPA.

Don't take it personally.

She said your commission has no authority and no money.

I'm not supposed to take that personally?

I'm only trying to rescue the ERA

after the Democrats made a mess of it,

and she's right about the money.

I don't understand how the president expects me to...

To launch a national campaign for the ERA with no funding.

Am I a magician?

- You're the woman of the year. -

I presented the Women of the Year.

I'm not one.

- Mmm. - Honey.

No, they're... they're asleep.

But did you check on Robin's fever?

Yes, and she told me she feels fine.

Wait. She told you she feels fine?

She's sick, so we shouldn't trust her.

I took her temperature right after you left.

It was only 99.7.

I also fed the kids something besides pizza,

and I even managed to dress myself this morning.

And it's a big improvement

from the tweed suits you wore when we first started dating.

You didn't like me in tweed?

- So stuffy. - Ah. I was dynamite.

You were square.

Square?

- Oh. -

- I just... I'm gonna go check on her. - Can...

If you want me to be in charge of the kids,

you have to let me be in charge.

Mmm.

Excuse me.

Do you know how much longer he'll be?

I don't do his schedule.

What exactly do you do?

These young women come to work here

knowing what they're getting into.

You can't blame him.

Oh, you can blame him. It's not right.

When I graduated from law school,

my mother said to me, "Wear a hat and gloves."

That way, they won't mistake you for a secretary."

Well, when did the gloves come off?

- -

Campaign spot rang long. Bicentennial.

You're wasting your time, Bella.

I can't support a radical lib agenda

and show my face in Ohio.

Oh, whoa. Who said anything about radical?

Let's ban that word from our vocabulary.

You brought Jill.

You know I can't resist when you tag-team me.

Reminds me of my frat days as a Buckeye.

Don't be a jackass, Wayne.

You're making the rest of us look bad.

- Jill. - Congressman.

- - Excuse me.

I'm used to suffering for the cause.

The funds for my bill will be used to sponsor conferences

on women's issues in each of the 50 states,

culminating in a national convention.

Our goal... to come up with a plan of action

for Congress to enact laws that benefit women.

Which in turn will give a much-needed shot in the arm

to the ERA ratification drive.

Is it me, or are the gals never happy?

Not when the gals are only making 56% of what the men make.

So you won't be happy till you make 100% of what men make?

Yes.

Are you gonna help us whip up votes or what?

What if this national conference for women

were run through my commission?

There's no question it would be bipartisan.

It would have the endorsement of the president

and headed by me, arguably

the most fiscally conservative person in this room.

State meetings open to the public.

Sounds like a fiasco.

I've never been associated with a fiasco.

- Massacres, yes. Fiascos, no. -

We can't do it without you, Congressman.