Exploited

Oh... hey, buddy boo.

Come here, boy.

Come here.

All right.

- Hey, girl. - Hi, Wrestlerstud.

You look hot today.

- So do you. - Thanks.

Show me lower.

Mm-mm-mm.

Thank you, mama.

Gotta be quick.

Whatever you want.

Ooh. Did you save a big load for me this time?

Just wait and see, baby.

Oh, fuck.

Who's your buddy? Does he want to join?

What buddy?

The one that just came in the room.

You scared me.

What?

- Dude. - What?

Use fucking headphones

if you're gonna watch porn.

I have students texting me.

I didn't know that it went through the door.

It does when it's open. Shut it, like this.

I was sh...

Sorry.

Need to get back in the mood.

Well, where'd your friend go? Maybe he can help.

Nice try.

Ah, fuck!

Stop! Stop it!

You're gonna kill him! Stop it! Get off!

Get off of him! Stop!

Man, oh, man. Look at this.

Wish I was going back to college.

I know. I know you crushed it.

Yeah. Well, you can too, you know.

You know it doesn't matter you didn't do shit in high school,

'cause college chicks are, like, way more sophisticated.

Dudes too. Hey, college dudes are, like,

sophisticated, you know?

- I'm here for the education. - Yeah, I know, Mr. Full Ride.

All I'm trying to say is college is about

finding out what you want and going after it.

Jacob. I got it.

I know. I know. You got it.

All right.

Thank you.

Look, Bri-Bri.

Me and Nana, we're real proud of you, okay?

Now, 15 minutes down the road if you need anything.

Go get 'em, tiger. Come on!

- Want me to help you? - Yeah. Just...

- You're a big, strong boy. - Thanks.

- All right. Let's go. - I'm good.

Looking good, buddy.

Proud of you, bro.

Thanks.

Hey. Brian Tims?

Hi, welcome to Starling University.

I'm Chloe, your dorm R.A.

This is Tommy, my jack-of-all-trades.

Let me get you checked in.

"New Joisey." The armpit of America.

At least it's only eight miles away from midtown Manhattan.

Yeah. No one from New Jersey actually says "Joisey"

in any context, unless you're from New Jersey

and trying to explain that people don't say "Joisey."

If you say so.

All right, this is gonna get you on Wi-Fi.

It's also got some orientation materials

and some free student software.

And...

all right, Joisey. You are in room 213.

- Thanks. - See you around.

Good luck.

- Oh. I'm sorry. - Okay.

Erin! Erin, where are you?

Whatever.

Hi! How are you?

So good to see you!

Hi! No, no, I just arrived.

- Oh, shit. - I'm... I'm so sorry.

God. You ever heard of knocking?

Should I leave? I...

Just messing with you, bro.

It's all good.

Um... here, set your monitor down,

I'll help you with your bag.

Shit.

Got a body in there, or what's up, man?

I just... I brought a bottle of wine with me.

Ah! Fancy, aren't you?

Well, I'm sorry about that, man.

I'll get you a new one. I'm Jeremy.

- Brian. - Nice to meet you.

This is my beautiful girlfriend, Lexi.

- Hi. - Brian.

Ah. You must be one of the lucky freshman

to get a sophomore roommate to show you the ropes.

I guess so.

All right, well, come on. Let's let him get settled in peace.

- See you around. - Thanks.

Hmm.

Speak of the devil.

No, no, Nana, Nana. No, I...

I'm not calling you the devil. I was...

I was looking at a picture of you when you called.

Yeah, everything's great.

No, I'm... I'm glad I saved the money.

Yeah. You know, screw NYU.

Yeah, his name's Jeremy.

He's got a really pretty girlfriend.

Yeah. Really pretty.

Nah.

Apparently he, uh, took over my drawer.

No, Nana, I did not get a chance to choose

my side of the room.

No. Yeah, that's... yeah, that's right.

Well, I don't know. Maybe he's just...

Maybe he's just being an idiot. I don't know.

Hey, Nana, I should... I should go

before I break anything else.

Okay... okay, Nana.

Bye, Nana.

I love you too.

Okay, ciao.

- What's up, bro? - Yeah, I have a flash drive

that, uh, says it's full, but when I open it, it looks empty.

Yeah, that happens if you eject it

before emptying the trash. Uh, hit command-shift-period

and you should see the hidden trash folder,

and then you can just delete whatever's in there.

Oh, okay, cool. Thanks, that worked.

Yeah, no problem. Peace.

Harder.

- Pop it for me, baby! - Oh, my God.

Pop one more for me.

Come on. Pop one more for me, baby.

One more! One more, baby!

Now smear it all over your face, boy.

You know what I want next.

I know what you want, master.

I know you want a bit of that.

Huh, master?

Aren't you forgetting something?

Yeah, I am. I am, master.

This is what I'm missing.

You know exactly where to stick that.

Oh, yeah. Right there.

Mmm, down here, down here, baby... master.

Whoa.

Oh, you're very talented, Mr. Clown.

Happy birthday to me!

Yo! Oh.

Well, Zeta Delta Psi's throwing a party.

- What's that? - A frat!

Come on. There'll be beer, girls, guys.

- What more do you need? - I don't know.

I might... I might just hang out, watch a movie.

Bro... bro!

- Yeah. - Come on, dude!

Let's go, baby!

Woo! Zeta Delta Psi, let's go!

Joisey!

- Let's do shots. Here. - I'm good.

- No, no, no, don't be such a beeyotch.

- Thanks. - Cheers.

Shots! Shots! Shots!

You gotta drink it! Chug! Chug! Chug!

Ha ha!

Yo, Bri-Bri!

This is dope. College party.

Yeah, it seems more like a "you" thing.

Yeah, well, it looks like you're doing just fine.

- Come on, let's dance! - Hey, I'm Janelle.

This is my brother, Jacob.

I'm security.

Tough guy.

Well, we're stealing him, so...

You look a little old to be at this party.

- You got weed? - What?

I'm saying you got some fucking weed,

'cause I wanna get fucked up!

That dickwad Jeremy's into dudes.

I am telling you, my gaydar is never wrong.

Oh, my God. Timothy, the tea is boiling!

Your one and only source into the scandalous lives

of Starling's elite.

XOXO, Gossip Girl!

All tea, all shade, all lemonade, honey.

Let's just find Janelle.

Who are you checking out?

What?

Who are you checking out?

I thought I saw someone I knew.

Hey, where's Lexi?

Getting more beer.