On a Magical Night (Chambre 212)

Days pass by and weeks pass by

Neither past time Nor past loves return

Under the Mirabeau bridge flows the Seine

The night falls and the hours ring

The days pass, I remain

Kiss my breasts.

Like that?

The other one too.

Now my tummy.

No. Out, hussy!

No, Asdrubal, not hussy.

Not to a French girl you like to kiss.

You should say

slut, little bitch, not hussy.

Got it. Now...

My cute little Pinochet.

Sorry, guys, it's unbearable.

It's too much.

The mistress in the closet can be fun.

I love a good farce.

I was ready to wait, telling myself,

''Look where dating students gets you.

You'll never learn.''

She's your teacher?

Miss, your obscene simpering and cheap cooing

is too much to bear.

You understand, as a woman and a historian,

I had to react.

What teacher?

History of Justice and Legal Proceedings.

Don't blame him.

I went after him on my own.

He didn't charm me, I charmed myself.

Because of his name.

Asdrubal Electorat.

The most erotic name I ever heard.

My anthroponymic fantasies ruin me.

Thanks, Asdrubal, I had two nice months.

Two months?

Barely. But three times a week.

ON A MAGICAL NIGHT

A shower before dinner?

I was sweaty, I cycled back.

Don't bring flu home.

I'll wash your things.

Thanks.

She left me, thanks a lot

Fucking you all winter was awesome

I'll bang you in spring too.

- Seen my phone, hon? - No.

It's a horrible case.

She dug up her husband to stop him haunting her dreams.

She told the judge they weren't dreams,

that he came

and hit her every night.

He'd been in his grave two years by then.

Psycho-genealogy, more or less.

Her dead husband wasn't a ghost for her.

More a living trace.

A secret she told herself.

Hear a vibration?

Not at all.

Want a coffee?

I'm sure I read about a corpse murder in a Henry James story.

In The Ghostly Rental , maybe.

Any idea?

Where's Henry James?

At ''J'', why do I find Maupassant

and Mauvignier?

Shit, Richard, alphabetical order isn't tough to understand.

James is here now.

The guy who fucked you all winter and is eager for spring,

is he ''A'' for Antoine, or for Alex,

or Asshole?

Must we do this?

You seem to want to clean up.

It's irrelevant, believe me.

Do I know him?

''A'' for Asdrubal, surname Electorat.

Can we move on?

You have a lover called Asbrabol something

and you want to move on?

It's nothing to get dramatic about.

It was a bit of sexual fun, which ended today.

Nothing that requires a long explanation.

Your sex life is an extra-marital activity?

We've been like siblings for years, my love.

So, at times, like you I suppose,

I have an insignificant fling.

I never imagined such a thing.

Don't touch me.

You saw him earlier?

Honey, we've been together over 20 years.

No couple lasts that long without a bit of sex on the side.

It's logical.

It's how a marriage lasts.

It's unavoidable.

2 and 2 make 4, the rest is nothing.

I've never cheated on you in 25 years.

Liar.

I don't want to know.

We're not competing for marital merit.

A man never marries the right woman.

No, that's not right.

Sure, it's not right.

But maybe I shouldn't have.

Were we lining up to marry you? I forget.

- That tone won't help. - My tone?

Who's the woman you should have married?

I don't know...

Irène Haffner, say.

It's ages since Ms. Irène Haffner got a mention.

Yes...

But she loved me, while you...

What? Finish that accusation!

Nothing, it's just...

I've wasted my best years on someone totally dishonest.

Those were your best years?

Richard...

Richard!

Leave me alone.

You and I need to think.

Maria!

Do you know what you really want?

I want to be alone.

Alone? Without me?

Alone, that's all.

Richard?

I find your attitude unacceptable.

It's sick doing this to me.

Richard, how can you be so young?

We can all be young at one point.

But not stay it.

Why not?

I was 25 once and you loved me madly.

This is absurd.

What's going on?

You should tell me that.

When did you say you'd be so nasty when you got old?

Look at the state I'm in.

I'm sorry, really.

I thought we agreed.

I never knew fidelity mattered so much to you.

I need to weigh things up. You told me to think.

I can't think with you in the room.

I'm mad with worry.

Maybe you've left with Assdoobal for good.

I'm imagining the worst.

Well, you're mistaken.

I'm not in someone's arms.

I'm across the street, near you, to think it over.

Are you leaving me?

You threw me out.

Let me come to you.

Let's sort this out with fine promises.

Wave to me, dammit.

Certainly not.

A night apart to think could do us both good.

Your sonata?

Yeah.

After we wed, you stopped playing.

Other priorities, I guess.

When you played, I melted like sugar in tea.

That's misplaced nostalgia.

I loved your worried kitten look when you began playing.

You loved other parts of me too,

but you tire of everything with the years.

I don't see why you stopped.

I had my reasons.

Meaning it was my fault?

Don't discuss it with me.

If my feelings worry you, a man across the street can answer.

Go back to your room.

I'll sleep here instead.

- By you. - Crazy old woman.

Stop calling me ''old woman''.

It's cruel, seeing you young and feeling so disgusting.

You're not disgusting.

Well, your face is.

Really disgusting now. But the rest is ok.

Thanks a lot.

I said the rest was fine. Try listening.

I'll go back to my room.

No, Maria...

Look what you've become.

You were sweet and passionate, now you're greedy and organized.

What?

It's pathetic, banging guys half your age.

You're not free and merry,

you're sad, cynical and coldly selfish.

Life is utilitarian.

Everything has its explanation to serve your well-being.

''2 and 2 make 4, the rest is nothing.''

See how your mind works now?

Before, you'd have forced 2 and 2 to make 5.

If they had, you've have found it...

true and charming.

How did you convince yourself only you matter?

What an indictment.

No, this isn't a trial, it's a heartbreak.