It Ain't Hay

The bluebird tunes up his magic flute

He's as sharp as a blade

Warbling as he goes the sunbeam serenade

The baker man goes a root-toot-toot

He's improving his trade

Only because he knows the sunbeam serenade

Fold up your umbrella

Easy does it, Joe

Be a regular fella

Vocalize do-re-mi-fa-sol

Pin a smile on your old lapel

Wrap your dreams in brocade

Put on your Sunday clothes

And join the joy parade

Open up your heart and sing the sunbeam serenade

Light a panatela

Blow a dream my way

Take it easy, fella

Vocalize...

Hey, Princess, you got a good horse for the day?

I'll say I have.

Bet your money on that sunny

Sunbeam serenade

Just a minute, young lady!

You've got no business operating a hack at your age.

Let me see your driver's license.

She's 12 years old.

Her old man's laid up with arthritis.

That's no excuse for breaking the law.

I've got a good mind to lock you up.

Oh, have a heart, Reilly.

Oh, it's a heart you want, is it?

Oh, well, that's a different story!

Hello, Princess.

How's me little girl?

Gee, Mr. Reilly.

For a minute there, you had me worried!

Me too!

Oh, brother, am I late for work!

See you at lunch.

Oh, boy!

What are you doing?

What's wrong with you?

You know you were driving over 35 miles an hour?

A minute.

35 miles an hour. A minute.

This car won't go an hour.

Oh, you.

Hello, boys. How are you? Glad to see you.

Hello, Joe. What are you doing around here?

What's wrong, Joe?

Didn't they want a band leader up at Camp Saratoga?

Oh, me and my big mouth are in trouble again.

Why don't you see your dentist?

Quiet.

What's wrong? I had to go around camp bragging

how I know every big star on Broadway

and could round them up for the big camp show.

So what happened?

So the Captain gives me four days' leave

to bring a show up to camp,

and so far I got nobody but the Princess to sing.

Not even a slug to make a phone call.

Joe, you're welcome to my last quarter.

Here you are, Joe. You owe me a quarter.

Thanks. That's a life saver.

What's the idea? What do you mean, he owes you a quarter?

Did you give him the quarter? No.

Then he owes it to me.

But you took it from me.

But he's got it now.

I will break even, won't I?

I hope. I hope. I mean, I...

Oh, Princess.

Wilbur.

Oh, I never can fool you.

Hello, Princess. How's my best girlfriend?

Fine. Thank you, Wilbur.

How's my best boyfriend Finnegan?

He's hungry.

Hello, Finnegan.

I love this horse.

Finnegan, I got something for you.

You must know I love you if I want to share my candy with you.

Ain't it cute?

Go ahead, take that.

You're gonna hurt your teeth if you crunch it like that.

Wilbur, you shouldn't give him peppermint candy to eat.

It's bad for his teeth.

He likes peppermint candy.

Now, she's right.

You'll spoil the horse's appetite.

Now he won't eat his fodder.

Eat his father? Mmm-hmm.

What do you think? Finnegan is a cannibal?

No, she's going to hang his fodder on his nose.

Ain't he going to look funny with his father on his nose?

He eats his fodder every day.

Finnegan eats his father every day? Well, sure.

And what does his father eat?

He eats his fodder.

And what's his mother eat?

Well, she eats her fodder.

It's getting worse all the time.

What's the use of talking to you?

It must be Father's Day.

Any luck, Joe? Not a bit.

Well, keep on trying, you'll get there.

Anything I can do to help you, Princess?

No, thank you, Wilbur.

I'll shine your glass.

Will you excuse me while I have my lunch?

Finnegan hates to eat alone.

Have a sandwich, Uncle Wilbur?

No, you don't.

Trying to steal the little girl's lunch.

There's something in my eye.

Here, take my handkerchief, dear.

Thank you.

Everything all right?

Uh-huh.

Come here. Come here.

I'm sorry. Come down here.

I didn't mean it. It's not his fault. He's hungry.

Yeah, Joe. I haven't had a thing to eat all day

but those ladyfingers.

Wilbur, you break my heart. Come on across the street,

we'll see what Kitty can do for us today.

See you later, dear. Goodbye.

It ain't raining. Why the umbrella?

Who knows? I'm a Damon Runyon character.

Tea Biscuit. What a horse! What a horse!

Yeah, but how're we gonna get out to the race track?

Why don't you hire his taxi cab?

Could be. Perhaps. What's your flat rate?

$30 a month but the bathroom's at the other end of the hall.

It's quite a hike. Have lunch with us.

We'll go inside and talk it over amongst ourselves together.

Thank you for the invitation. That's very nice of you.

Take a check, please.

I'd rather have cash.

You'll have to take a check.

Tilt.

What's the matter with you?

Hey.

Hey, take it easy, will you, my friend?

I mean, when I dropped my ticket on the floor,

you with your golf shoes on, you punched holes in it.

Oh, I'm sorry. Here, you can have mine.

Oh, thank you.

Missed. Huh?

You got me.

What do I want with your ticket?

I've got one of my own.

Hey, hey, Grover.

Hey, Kitty...

Wilbur! Wilbur, watch it.

I'm sorry...

I was going over to see Grover.

Hey, you look where you're going!

What's the big idea?

Would you like to have a fight or something?

I'll fight you any day of the week.

Grover.

I can't leave him alone a minute.

Hey, Grover. What's the matter now?

Oh, Grover. What happened?

I did it again.

So you go out and eat a dollar-and-a-half's worth

and don't even sit with us.

These ain't my checks.

Oh, big man, big man.

Going around picking up other people's checks.

Well, here, pick up mine.

I'm gonna find Joe. All right, but I mean...

Grover, who's going to pay for these checks?

I got an idea. Let's gamble to see who pays.

I don't gamble. My mother told me never to gamble.

And furthermore, gentlemen, you invited me in here for dinner.

Sure, but we didn't say we'd pay for it.

We'll have a quiz contest.

A quiz contest? Yeah, yeah.

Now me and the boys will each put up five bucks

and we'll each ask a question,

and all you gotta do is say "the checks" to each question.

If you don't say "checks," you're stuck.

All I gotta do is say "the checks"

to three questions? That's right.

Okay. Now, here, you ready?

The first question.

What would you do if you were going to have something more,

what would you eat? The checks.

How do you like that? Second question.

If you had another cup of coffee, what would you stir it with?

The checks. He's tough.

Last question. If you were to win this contest,

what would you rather have,

the money or the checks?

The checks.

Okay. There they are.